A Subconscious Fight
by Raiultima
Summary: Sequel to A Subconscious Hope. Now that Cat's ordeal has been resolved, what is in store for Cat and Tori? Set three months after HA, and six months after A Subconscious Hope. Rated M for Sex, Self Inflicted Violence, and Language. - Complete
1. Terror Reignited

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**This is a sequel to A Subconscious Hope. No review, no intro. Tori's struggle with what happened.**

**Chapter 1 - Terror Reignited**

_"Cat? Hey Cat?" Tori looked for her fiance, the redheaded beauty eluding her during their graduation. Which is pretty hard, because they were placed next to each other due to their last names._

_"Hey there, baby! Look who I found." Jade was in tow, looking to Tori with Beck around her waist. Jade looked very disinterested, but knowing what Tori meant to Cat and what had happened, she was more than willing to at least stomach her. This was a happy day. She could muster the strength to be there for Cat and Tori. They were "friends."_

_"Oh, hey!" Tori pulled the redhead in, placing a long kiss on her lips. Andre, who had gotten over every seeing anything serious between the two girls, smiled. He looked for his girlfriend, a beautful blonde named Jessica._

_"So, Tori, everything is ready." Cat, who had convinced Tori to come to Broadway with her, already had two casting calls for herself, and one for Tori lined up. They needed to be at their appartment in NY within the week, as the auditions were in two weeks. They did want a little time to find where they were and how to get around._

_After celebrating with their friends, Tori's parents gave them a ride to the airport. With one last kiss from their parents, and a promise to call when they landed, the girls were off. Having first class tickets, they were alone (mostly) to do what they pleased. They spent the majority of their time making out._

_When they finally landed, they collected their things and hailed a taxi. Their belongings had been shipped by her father, and Trina who was attending NYU, had been forced to set up their appartment. She initially whined, but when they promised to buy her acting lessons for a year, she agreed._

_After finally arriving to their new home, and Cat kissing Tori, promising that it was the start of their new life, they crossed the threashold into their upper east side flat. What they weren't expecting, was their visitor. They could have sworn he was gone for good, but there he was._

_"Hello, Kitty." He looked slyly at her, and then to Tori. "You still look just as hot as you were then." He started coming at them, and Tori blacked out-_

"AAAHHHHHHH." Tori shot up screaming, the redhead by her side in an instant. The whole upper east side of NY probably heard them, but these things were commonplace. So no police were alerted, no one seemed to care. Cat, though, had her wrapped up instantly.

"Tori, what's wrong?" This was the first time since the attack that either had woken up with such terror, and Cat knew instantly what it was. She was trying to calm her fiance down, placing kisses to her temples and holding her tight. She fought with Tori, trying to get her to understand she was safe. But there was no hope, the terror was so strong there was nothing would help. Cat finally got up, grabbing a glass of water.

After several failed attempts at having her drink it, she threw it in her face. Somehow, it actually helped.

"Cat, what the hell? Why'd you do that?"

"Why were you screaming?"

"I wasn't screaming." Tori's voice was raw, damaged. It suggested otherwise.

"Yes you were, baby. What happened?"

"I- I-"

"NO!" Cat knew instantly. If he could get to her, imagine what he could do to her. She had done well at blocking it out, making it as simple as breathing. Her mental walls had some strength after three months, but now they seems as flimsy as wet tissue paper. The voices found their way in.

_"Stupid little whore. You are more worthless now than ever before."_

**"I am not. I am starring in a Broadway production. And Tori is with me, too. So don't say she is either."**

_"You actually think she cares about you? She pities you. You are nothing more than a project. You know the moment you feel fine, she __**will**__ leave you."_ Cat was trying to fight, but a distraught Tori beside her wasn't really helping the situation. And with her mental state, she couldn't do anything. So the two of them, both going through their own struggles, were alone to fight.

It was near three in the morning, and the girls were fighting with their inner demons. Cat was the first to have some breakthrough, noticing that Jade had sent a text to her earlier that morning. She knew why she didn't hear it. She and Tori had been fucking the hell out of each other, making sure that nothing around them were heard. Hell, there could have been video cameras taping them, and they would have never known.

She finally picked up her phone, seeing the picture attached to the message.

_**BECK PROPOSED! WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!**_

Jade had known she wouldn't get a response until the next day, so sleeping in Beck's comfortable embrace, she didn't expect a phone call at midnight. Especially from her bubbly redheaded bestfriend.

"Ughh, Cat. What the hell?"

"Jade, Tori had a nightmare."

"So."

"About him."

"Pick us up at the airport. We'll be there soon. We will call when we land."

Even though Tori wanted to be friends with Jade, and was even told they were, her subconscious told her differently. She and Jade were anything but. So seeing her would help. She knew that if Jade would pruposely come across country to help her, that she really did care. It would help, even if only while she were there.

Cat looked to her, kissing her again and using the most soothing voice possible.

"Tori, listen to me. I love you. He can't hurt you. He's gone. Jade and Beck are getting married. You're happy for them, right?" Tori nodded. "Okay, and Jade wants you to know she is coming in the morning. She's worried about you, enough to fly out to help." It took a few minutes to sink in, but once it did, she finally stopped rocking back and forth.

"Cat, please. Don't let him hurt me." Cat, understanding the fear and need in those words, looked at her, using two fingers to get Tori to focus on her.

"Promise, baby. Now then, I know sleep isn't possible right now." She could remember the countless sleepless nights, night terrors breaking her mental state. "So what do you want to do?"

"Well, I need to take my mind off things. And, well-" Tori eyed Cat up and down, which told enough that Cat took off her pajama top. Knowing that she didn't wear a bra to bed, because Tori liked to play in her sleep, she slowly teased her by antagonizingly pulling as slow as possible. Once it was gone, Tori latched on like a baby feeding from its mother.

Cat moaned to the contact, letting Tori wash her fear away. Cat finally had enough, dropping her pants and allowing Tori to do as she wished and needed. Tori's love and lust started overriding her fear, and she started going all in on Cat.

Finally getting on her knees, she used her mouth to trace her target. Using one finger to dip inside, and her free hand to cup a breast, Tori wasn't just fucking Cat. She was fighting. Cat knew this, so even though there was more pressure than usual, and it hurt, she let Tori do as she wanted and needed.

Cat, feeling her orgasm coming, started calling Tori's name. Letting herself fall back on the bed, har back started arching and she saw lights behind her eyelids. Finally coming, Tori considered stopping. But the fear wouldn't let her. She continued to push and use her tongue, Cat's breath hitching and sweat on her brow letting her know that she was going to be sore.

Tori finally relented, but Cat knew the fear wasn't gone. So she pulled Tori back up to her, using one hand to hold her's, intertwining their fingers. Her other hand dipped into the front of her pajamas, massaging her. She wanted Tori to forget, wanted her to feel safe. Tori, moving her body as close to her beauty, started succombing to the contact.

Cat knew she was finally letting go, and turned her and placed another long kiss on her lips. She unbuttoned her top, watching as the breasts contained within were exposed. Using the most loving and soothing words possible, she calmed Tori some more.

"Tori, I love you. You are the most beautiful, talented, perfect girl I know. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have you by my side. And I know I will have you forever, just like you will have me."

Cat mounted Tori, using her mouth to tease her breasts and one hand to massage Tori's moistness. Tori felt the fear and pain wahing away more minute by minute, and finally, she completely caved. She allowed herself to be taken over, the euphoria and pleasure washing over and calming her completely. She finally came, the release freeing her of everything. Their activities lasted until the sun came up, enticing the girls to shower up for their day. The fear was finally washed out of their minds.

Around nine AM, Jade called to tell Tori that she and Beck were getting on the plane, and would be there in about five hours. So around five PM, Cat and Tori were in their cab to the airport, excitement causing them to almost bounce off the walls. They wanted to see their friends so bad, because it had been three longs months after their graduation.

xxxxx

"HEY, JADEY!" Cat ran instantly to her gothic friend, wrapping her in a death grip. Tori walked to Beck, placing a light kiss on his cheek. "Congratulations. And to you, Jade."

Jade hugged Tori, even managing a smile and having her loosen up.

"Tori, its okay. Cat told me. You are going to be fine." After another hug, the four friends went for an early dinner. Andre and Robbie would be in New York in a few days, to stay and watch Tori and Cat's show. There was alot of work to do, and even more healing for Tori and Cat.

**Okay, so chapter 1! Not sure how long this will be, but there will be as much, if not more, struggle than A Subconscious Hope. I have a few ideas, but would like some help. Anything would be great. Thanks, and please R/E/R! (Read/Enjoy/Review!)**


	2. Battle Plan

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 2 - Battle Plan**

Tori sat with Cat, listening to Jade tell of how Beck had proposed. Apparently, he waited until her first writing was accepted to production, then asked if he could audition for the lead. When she refused, saying it gave him an unfair advantage, he laughed. First, because she was never fair. It wasn't her style. And second, because he thought she wanted him in all aspects of her life. When she said she did, he instantly got on one knee, producing a small black box.

"Jade, that is so sweet. And Beck, props for leading her into it. She never saw it coming."

"Well, I try." Beck flashed a smile, making Jade scowl for a moment. She knew neither of the girls across from her would try anything, but she couldn't be sure of the other girls in the restaurant. He saw her unease, and lifted her left hand to her face, making sure she focused on the ring. "I promise, I'm yours until you say otherwise." Cat and Tori aww'd, making Jade shoot daggers.

"Okay, Tori. I know you may not think so, but you may need some help. This isn't a good thing, what happened. I can't come here everytime you have a bad dream. Get help." Jade was alluding to a psychiastrist, but Tori didn't pick up on it.

"With? Cat's here. She can help me."

"You sure? What if she starts weirding out over, well, ya know. If she can't hold it together, then who will help you? You need to see someone."

"I don't think that's too bad an idea, Tori." Beck was siding with Jade, showing support for both in his usual way. It made Jade feel good, like she could control Beck. And it showed Tori just how much her friends actually cared.

"Well? Cat?" She had zoned out, the entire conversation soaring over her head. It was her mental block to everything around her. Letting her mind go free, not focusing on anything, it was where she would find her peace.

She actually learned to dance and sing that way, imagining she were a princess in a castle with nothing to do all day. She finally decided to focus it, allowing her talent to be honed and fine tuned. She perfected it with ease, showing more adept ability for art than anything else in her life. And her parents, wanting to support her and give her something to work for, allowed her audition to HA.

It wasn't until Tori poked her side, producing a small giggle, that she finally answered.

"Whaty?" Three palms met foreheads, but the friends couldn't help but laugh. Cat started too, understanding that she had had one of "those moments." She knew she was a bit off, but Tori loved her and that was more than enough. Everyone saw it, and accepted it. If no one else ever cared or understood her like Tori, then she would still be happy and content.

"Do you think its a good idea for Tori to seek therapy?" Jade was growing tired of the conversation already, looking for their waitress to bring her some coffee.

"What's that?" Another trifecta of facepalms, six brown eyes looking at the redheaded angel. No one thought she could be this dense. She had gone through it herself numerous times. How could she not know what it was, or that she had been subjected to it, unwillingly, for so long.

"You know, Tori would sit with a doctor, talk about her fears, listen to ways to make her feel better. Get her in a controlled environment, safe and free from the outside. Let her deal with it as naturally as possible, and plan a course of action to beat it. Maybe get a prescription for some anti-depressants or anti-stress."

"Oh, that. Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think?"

Tori wasn't sure how to react. If her friends thought it was a good idea, then maybe she should do it. But what about the producers and her co-stars. What would they think of having a loony person working with them? "I'm not sure. I never thought I would have to consider it, so I never really gave the idea much know how the media would react." They all did. Paparazzi were everywhere, following anyone and anything that had a pulse and could even remotely classified as a "celebrity." These were the kinds of stories that were eaten up.

"Well, I think you should. My doctors helped me through it, and I feel good. And especially now that he is gone, I can really put it behind me."

"You don't ever have any thoughts, dreams, anything."

"Of course. But I don't let them weigh me down."

"How?"

"You." It was the same response Tori had gotten when they had this conversation before. Cat loved Tori enough to fight. She was using her love as her weapon, and it was sharper and truer than anything that could be brought against her.

"Okay, baby. I'll think about it." **"For about five seconds. There's no way I can do that. I would be a laughing stock if anyone ever found out."** Tori placed a deep kiss on her fiance's lips, getting mixed results from their two friends. Beck, in typical manly fashion, went wide eyed. He was enjoying the show. After smacking him upside the head, Jade turned a disgusted glance at them, making them stop cold turkey.

"So, Jade, any plans on the wedding yet?" Tori knew there weren't, because the proposal was yesterday. But still, cordiallity made her ask.

"No. But its still a long way away."

"Long time." Beck was echoing her words, making sure to remind himself that he still could change his mind at anytime. And to toy with Jade, he put a little extra weird into it, reminding her of his coffee addiction because of the cricket in his RV.

"We love each other."

"Lotta love." Jade glanced at him, smacking his shoulder.

"So, we will be together forever."

"Forever."

"HEY. There something you wanna talk about?" Beck laughed, pulling his fiance into him.

"Jadey-" Three stifled laughs went up, and were silenced rather quickly. "-you know I will be with you forever. I wouldn't have given you that ring otherwise. And besides, Hollywoods next power couple needs to have time before everything is set in stone. Let the media blow it up, make their rumors. The more they talk about us, the more famous we are. And the more famous we are, the better parts and such we get. Which means more money, better lifestyle, etc."

"Where are you going with this?"

"Just saying, we can have everything we will ever need before either of us are twenty-five. Think about it. You could have a private office to write. I could be there with you everyday, pampering you." Though she would never admit it, she did enjoy being pampered. She was spoiled, at least by Beck. And she planned on keeping it that way.

"You're right. Let's let the media know, have some hype build up."

"Now you're getting it." Beck was happy that he could sidetrack Jade with such superfulous thoughts. But when her imagination ran wild about those things, having things she thought were unobtainable, she grasped them hard. Especially after her childhood.

The rest of the dinner was nice. The four friends talked about where their lives had gone in the last three months, where they were headed. Andre and Robbie would be in town within a few days, and they would be coming to Cat and Tori's first show. Cat had known this, and had four seats, front row, already reserved. She had planned it as a surprise for Tori, but after the previous night, she had no choice but to get them there early. Tori needed them.

xxxxx

_Tori and Jade were at Karaoke Dokey. The two guys who couldn't catch a clue were intentionally getting into their personal space, doing everything possible to get them to go out with them. After elbowing one in the gut, Jade finally gets some relief. Tori, on the other hand, has no such luck. Not being much of a fighter, she doesn't know how to fend them off. But when they request a song, the girls instantly spring into action, giving more than requested._

_Afterward, when Jade dropped her at her home, Tori went inside to call Cat._

_"Hey, Tori." Cat's voice was weak, as if crying._

_"Cat, can I ask you something?"_

_"What?"_

_"I think I like someone, but don't know how to tell them." Tori was alluding to Jade, but Cat misunderstood, thinking it was her._

_"WHO!?" The bubbly redhead instantly found her voice, and the girls dove headfirst into a conversation that found both girls laughing. Tori eventually realized that there were no feelings, just appreciation of having a new "friend." Cat's voice stopped after a while, and someone else's took over. A darker, more evil sounding voice-_

For the second time in as many nights, Tori found herself waking up to the sound of his voice. This time, however, she didn't scream out. She jolted awake, thankful that Cat didn't realize she was up. Cat was impossible to wake up, thankfully, but sleeping in the same bed, Tori was always careful.

**"Maybe therapy isn't such a bad idea. I can't go on living like this. I need help. But what if - no, I need help. Cat can't do it all on her own. And I can't ask her to. And I don't want to impose on Jade, Beck, Andre, Robbie, anyone. I need help."**

Tori was thankful Andre was coming in the morning. She needed her best guy friend. Robbie would be there by the weekend, so all six of them would be there to talk it over and decide the best plan of action. Trina might even recieve a phone call. Her mind at ease with the thoughts of her friends and family being there to help, she hit the pillow hard. She pulled Cat close to her, placing a kiss on her lips, and staring at her. Eventually, she fell asleep. And thankfully, it gave her rest.

**Okay, Chapter 2. Yes, I know the first few chapters are short. But I was getting a feel for where this story would go, and how to get it kickstarted. Now that it is, the chapters should get some length, and the plot should start coming together nicely. Tori's mind is replaying past events in her dream, because her defense for blocking out what happened is to focus on the times that it was never there to begin with. I hope that makes sense. Please, R/E/R!**


	3. Try And Heal?

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 3 - Try and Heal?**

_Tori and Cat were appologizing to Andre, Beck, and Robbie for disregarding their fund raiser. After hearing about how they were replaced and forgotten, Cat and Tori had decided to surprise the guys with a song. It took a little convincing, but once on stage, with the music going, everything went off without a hitch._

_Driving down Sunset on a Saturday night_

_It's gettin' kinda crazy under those lights_

_But we don't care, we're passing the time_

_Watching those L.A. Boyz roll by_

_As their song started to unfold, Cat was using as much motion and voice as possible to get Tori's attention. And it worked, Tori looking to her and noticing how angelic she looked. It was the first time that Tori ever questioned being gay or not, but never acted upon it. She didn't know that soon, she would be forced to, as Cat needed her worse than anything in her life._

_Put you're number in my phone_

_Maybe I'll call you, maybe not_

_**"You can call me whenever, Cat. Wait, uhh? Did I just?- Nah"**_

_Whatcha doin all alone_

_Come, show me what you got,_

_Boy, show me whatcha got, got_

_Boy, whatcha got, boy_

_Show me what ya got!_

_Tori couldn't be sure when, but sometime during the song, she started singing to Cat, unaware of the anger of thinking of boys getting her. Her mind had started racing, and it was that night she first pleasured herself to the thought of a girl. And to think, Cat Valentine, was the object of her affection._

After one nightmare, Tori had focused all her attention on her fiance. She waited until her mind was clear and free of any negativity, finally allowing herself to fall asleep. She had been right, Cat wasn't alerted when she had jolted awake. And she didn't even know that Tori had made out with her, for a few moments, before falling back asleep. But thankfully, focusing on Cat had allowed her mind to forget the terrors, and her dream was rather pleasent and restful.

xxxxx

Tori finally awoke, rested and feeling much better. **"Huh, last night wasn't so bad. I don't need therapy. There's nothing wrong with me. Besides, all I have to do is focus on Cat, and everything will be okay."** Tori started doing just that, focusing so much on Cat that she didn't realize breakfast had been made and Cat was waiting for her.

Cat finally came in to wake Tori, surprised to see her sitting up in bed. It was only seven in the morning, but it was the first day of Cat's new play. Tori was an understudy, and would be called if anything was needed from her. So she would be left alone around ten when Cat went about her daily business. Tori thankfully had Jade and Beck if she needed anything, but no one could help her like Cat. Andre was coming into town later that evening, and Cat had promised to go with Tori to the airport to get him.

Cat's show would be over by eight, and Andre's plane was coming in from Seattle around ten thirty, so there was plenty of time. And Tori, not wanting to infringe on Beck and Jade, was going to allow them to see the Big Apple without having to babysit her. **"I can do it. I don't need help. I'm strong enough."**

"Hey baby! How'd you sleep last night?"

"Fine, you?" **"A little white lie never hurt anyone."**

"Great. By any chance, did you kiss me last night?" **"Oh, shit. Busted. Maybe I can have her forget it."**

"Yeah. I went to waz and came back and kissed you before going back to bed." Cat dropped it, laughing and feeling good that Tori would want to make out with her, even in her sleep. What neither of them knew was that the white lies only added to Tori's guilt and fear, subconsciously adding more weight for her to bare.

"Okay. Breakfast is ready." As Tori got up, knowing Cat was an excellent cook, she started to make her way to the dining room. But Cat stopped her, kissing her rather forcefully. "Now we're even."

"Okay. I love you." **"I really love when she does that." **And it happened rather often. Wether at work, where her co-workers would give approving smiles, home alone, or out in the streets, Cat was never shy about her affections. And why should she be? Tori had helped her through one of her darkest times in her life, fell in love with her, and shared every part of their lives together. They were inseperable, except when one or the other had an audition or play to perform in.

"I love you, too." Cat wrapped her up again, playfully grabbing her ass. Tori knew what was on her mind, but was a bit too hungry to do anything else. She hadn't eaten much the night before, her mind playing with her and amplifying what her dream had done.

The dining room table had a vast array of food ready. Bacon, toasted english muffins, scrambled eggs with cheese. All of Tori's favorites. Cat wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible, so that she would have as easy a day as possible without her. Cat looked over to her, showing her her phone. "Tori, if you need anything, **anything**, let me know. I can have Jade and Beck here in an instant."

"I will, sweetie. Now, you need to get ready for work, right?" Tori wanted to "help", as she hoped Cat still needed a shower. And of course, help getting dressed. Tori loved helping Cat. And she loved even more when Cat returned the favor, which she was always more than willing to do.

Cat knew what she was thinking and saying, allowing a genuine smile that made Tori's spine tingle and sent a quaking tremble through her body. Knowing there wasn't much time, Cat moved first, ignoring the rest of breakfast. She pulled Tori to the bathroom, both girls disrobing and utilizing their time to the fullest. Unfortunately, their time was up soon, and Cat was out the door, and Tori was left to herself.

xxxxx

**"I wonder how Cat's first day is going? I hope she is doing well." **Tori was moving around the apartment, cleaning up everything that had been left earlier that morning. Cat had actually worn her out enough that Tori needed a nap two hours after waking up. But she didn't mind. Her peaceful rest left her more than energized, and she wished she had an outlet.

She decided after finishing the house to go out and look for some new furniture. What they had was nice, but she and Cat had decided to redecorate. They had some money their parents had given them, and were going to start looking anyways. So Tori decided to get a jump on it.

Walking the streets of New York was a much different task then Los Angeles. The streets were more congested, and crazies were everywhere. Tori heard police sirens passing by somewhere near, and her mind instantly moved to Cat. **"I hope she's okay."**

She found a nice store, looking through the window before entering. The wood and wicker furniture extended longer than the eye can see, and Tori was instantly overwhelmed. She started looking, making mental notes of what Cat may enjoy. Some of them were a bit out of her style, but she could sacrafice a little to make her happy.

After shopping for an hour, she texted Cat.

_**Hope I'm not interrupting. Went looking at furniture, found some really nice choices.**_

_**Yay. We can look later. Show starts in about an hour. How you doing?**_

_**Fine. You? **_Another small white lie. She was worrying about Cat, all the noises around her reminding her that if her mind was in bad shape, that Cat may be on the verge of breaking. Tori had made herself and Cat a promise to do anything and everything possible to get everything behind them, so they could live as happy and normal a life as possible.

_**Great. I love you.**_

_**Love you more, now break a leg.**_

_**You do not, and I will!**_

Tori remembered the one time she tried telling Cat she loved her more. She was proven wrong rather quickly, and felt like she had needed to up her own game. She was getting better, according to Cat, so it wasn't hard for them to admit their loves were equal. But still, a little fun jousting never hurt. Who knows, it might spark a session of "Who loves who more?". Tori loved those times. They would last for hours, and her mind would be free of everything, including _him._

Leaving the store, and finding a little diner for lunch, she sat down.

"Hey, hon. What we having to drink." **"I gotta do it. This is for you, Cat."**

"Hot tea, please. And a glass of water." A light laugh left her lips, the remark Cat had made their first night together ringing in her mind. She wasn't sure why she always ordered tea, but she felt an obligation to everytime she was with her. When by herself, she might spare herself, but not now.

"Coming up." The waitress left for a moment, returning with the piping liquid. After a moment, Tori decided on a BLT for lunch. She sat in silence, thinking of her fiance and watching the people outside. She wondered what would be different if she and Cat had stayed in L.A.

**"I wonder if Andre and I would be on tour together. But I can't do that to Cat. I couldn't be away from her that much, and I know she doesn't want to be away from me, either. I wonder if people would actually know my name. I thought people here might recognize me from the Platinum Music Awards, but they don't."**

For reasons she couldn't understand, she actually relished the thoughts of no one knowing her name. At one time, she wanted everyone to know her, accept her, love her. But now, after everything with Cat, she just wanted her. As long as they were together, nothing else mattered. Looking back outside, she saw a firetruck whiz by, causing her thoughts to run again.

**"Oh, Cat. Please be okay." **She was being irrational. If anything happened, she would be alerted instantly. And Jade and Beck were there if she needed them, so she thought about calling. **"No, I don't need them. I'm strong enough, right? Get your head on, Tori. You don't need help. You've got everything under control."**

It wasn't until the waitress came back with her BLT and she was questioned that she realized she was crying.

"Huh?"

"Is everything okay? You have a tear running down your cheek." Tori instantly stopped, making her voice as strong as possible.

"Yes, ma'am. I was just thinking about my fiance."

"Oh, well he's a lucky guy."

"Actually, she's wonderful."

"Oh, sorry."

"Its okay."

"You need anything else?"

"I'm fine. Thanks."

Tori finally paid, and realizing it was a bit past when Cat was supposed to go on, decided against messaging her. She sent one to Jade, instead.

_**Hey, how are you and Beck doing?**_

_**Great. You? **_Jade knew that today would be the first day away from Cat since the attack, so she was concerned for her friend.

_**Fine. Cat and I are getting Andre from the airport later tonight. Ya'll wanna meet up later at our place**_

_**Maybe, let Andre decide. He'll probably be exaushted. Maybe wait till tomorrow. **_Jade knew differently, but didn't allude to it.

_**Okay. I'll let you know.**_

Tori felt better, knowing that she had a safety net in case things got too rough. But Jade and Beck wouldn't be there forever. When they left, how would she survive if things got bad? When she didn't have anyone to distract her when Cat was gone. Soon, the two would be audition for the same play, and hopefully, work together and be together all the time. If she could made it till then, she would be okay.

xxxxx

Eight fifteen...

Eight thirty...

Nine o'clock...

Nine fourty-five...

Tori was watching the clock, wondering why Cat hadn't come home yet. And why they hadn't left to get Andre yet. He would surely call the instant he landed, and if they didn't leave soon, they would leave him at the airport without a way out. And she didn't want that. She felt guilty, disappointing her friend.

All of the guilt of her dreams, all the weight was starting to crush her. She had brought _him_ back into the equation. Cat didn't need that. She couldn't go through it a second time. Tori sat in the silence of her apartment, questioning herself and everything else.

**"What's wrong with me? I drag Cat's biggest fear out of the closet, then decide to lie to Cat about it, I leave Andre out to dry, and Jade and Beck-"**

_"You don't deserve my sister. Get away from her!"_

**"Like you know how to treat her. You tortured her and turned her from a bright and happy girl into a shell of her former self."**

_"And you will end up doing the same. You will only end up hurting her. Once she realizes that, you will be all to blame for what happens to her. I was protecting her, teaching her to be strong. You're just destroying her."_

**"No I'm not. I love her."**

_"So did I. How can you justify what you're doing when accusing me of the same?"_

**"It's not the same."**

Tori's mind was running in circles. Everytime she would think of Cat, she would feel more guilt. And the more guilt she felt, the louder and fiecer his voice was. She was breaking down. She needed someone, anyone to distract her. Then she remembered something that Cat had said.

_"Then why did I slit my wrists last night? It was because of him. He did this to me. My happiness, my love for everything, it was broken by him."_

Tori's resolve strengthened a bit. **"I WILL NOT LET HIM GET TO ME."** It didn't last long though. Though she knew to fight, she didn't have the years of mental fortitude that Cat did. His voice was getting stronger and stronger, and she was starting to give in. She eventually rememebered what else she had said.

_"Yeah. I figured that if I hurt myself, why would he need to. His voice still haunts me, and cutting myself makes them go away, for a little while."_

Tori decided to fight. Unfortunately, the way she wanted to fight wasn't the healthiest of options. She walked into the kitchen, finding a knife. Walking into the bathroom, she got a towel and wrapped her wrist in it, along with the knife. With a slight pull, making sure that she didn't go too deep, she felt the warmth and heat. The only problem, since she had never done something like this before, she hit a major vein, and the blood started flowing profusely. Cat walked in with Andre, Jade, and Beck. She had planned a surprise for Tori. Andre had gotten out of Seattle early, and they had picked him up early. After heading to a local bistro, buying some of Tori's favs, she had planned a night with their friends. Her show wasn't on the next night, and Andre wasn't due in Vancouver for four more days.

Jade and Beck were flying with him to see his show, then heading back to L.A afterward. Robbie would even be in town, his comedy routine being a preview show of someone at Madison Square Garden. Cat had found out that her co-star wouldn't be in the show in a few nights, and that Tori would need to fill in. So she knew that everyone would be able to see them perform, like old times.

When Tori didn't respond to her entering, they all wondered where she may be. It was only when Cat walked into the bathroom, letting out an ear shattering scream, that everyone had their answer. Tori, even though weak from blood loss, heard the scream. She eventually passed out, and her mind echoed her's and Cat's pain in her dream.

_"We are here to celebrate the life of one of the greatest young talents the world has ever seen. Victoria Vega was a great inspiration to those around her, loving everyone and making them feel better about themselves. She was never shy about doing the right things. Though her life was cut short, her memory will forever live in those who knew her best. Victoria, we will always love you." Cat's voice eventually failed her, and with tears in her eyes, she walked to Jade as the casket was closed. The funeral was short, with only family and close friends. Tori Vega died exactly four months after graduating Hollywood Arts._

**Okay, so here we are, Chap 3. Tori's guilt is weighing on her strong, and things are about to get heavy. How will Cat react, and what will happen to her? What about Jade, Beck, Andre, Robbie? Please, R/E/R!**


	4. I WIll Be Happy?

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**A/N: I know the description of the story says its about Tori's struggle. And it is. However, the first part of this is Cat handling what happened at the end of Chap 3.**

**Chapter 4 - I Will Be Happy**

_Cat was trying her best to adapt to a life without Tori. Her apartment, which once was full of life, had become a tomb, hollow and dark. Just like Cat's spirit. Cat was trying to move on, and Jade was coming twice a month to make sure she kept taking care of herself. After Cat's depression had led her to not eat, resulting in the loss of fifteen pounds in one month, Jade immediately suggested her best friend come home and live with she and Beck._

_After promising to try and turn things around, Jade allowed her to stay in New York, but wouldn't leave her alone for too long. Her best friend had needed her once before, and now needed her more than ever. Whenever the voices weren't attacking her, the pain of losing Tori took over._

_Cat never thought her life could have gotten worse, but after having her mind and spirit cleansed of her darker past, she fell in love. And then the girl she feel for started harming herself after taking on too much pressure of helping. The pressure became too much, and her life was forfeitted, without much of a fight. Cat, blaming herself for not being more attentive and caring, was drowning herself in sorrow. If not for her best friend, she surely would be gone also._

_Cat heard the knock on her apartment door, Jade letting herself in. Jade had a key, after sneaking Cat's away and making a copy. She had to let herself in most of the time, because Cat was too wrapped in pain to acknowledge anyone or anything around her. Thankfully, she had money from her family, so her bills weren't out of hand. But Jade was doing her best to keep from losing her, but knew she wouldn't last long._

_"Cat?" No response._

_"CAT?" Cat looked up, but couldn't see her gothic friend._

_"HEY, KITTY CAT?"_

Jade shook Cat, knowing that it was no good. This girl could sleep through most anything, except cold. So Jade, knowing it was necessary, picked up a bottle of ice water, slowly emptying it on the readhead's hair.

"Huh?" Cat, groggy after trying to stay awake with Tori in the hospital, looked up. Hoping it was just a terrible nightmare, she quickly banished any hope when seeing Tori attached to all the machines around her. The light beeping of Tori's heartbeep, slow and steady, was the only thing giving Cat any hope.

"Cat, c'mon. I know you love her. But you can't stay in here. Robbie got here early, and André was hoping you could help him with something."

"What?" Cat was in a mood that could only be described as a mix of "Fuck Off", "I Don't Care", and "Whatever, leave me alone." Her voice depicted her sorrow and anguish, Jade instantly picking her up and leading her out of the room. Had it not been for her strength leaving her, Cat would have surely broken away and turned back to stay with Tori. But she was done fighting. She didn't know what to think, how to react to what had happened.** "If Tori can't fight, how can I? I know we beat him, but if he got to her, and he decides to come after me again, then how? I can't live without her, and I can't fight."**

Jade picked up the pain, knowing that anything could send Cat into a fit. And if it did, the entire hospital would be aware. No one knew how to cry like Cat, and she always made it apparant what was wrong. "Cat, just come with me, please. Tori will be okay." Placing a light kiss on her temple, Jade led her to the waiting room.

"Hey, Little Red!" André was doing his best to cheer her up, but Cat didn't feel like being happy. If Tori wasn't, or couldn't be, why did she deserve to be? André wrapped her up, rubbing her back slowly and lowering his voice. "You know Tori loves you. And you know she'd never leave you. You don't know exactly what happened."

Cat looked to him, a faint smile on her face. Trying to look hopeful, Cat failed miserably. She knew all the signs of a cutter. She had been one herself. Arms wrapped in blood soaked garmets? Check. Light slashes on the arms, trying to stay away from major arteries? Check. Severe mental trauma recently prior? Check.

"Cat, look. I know it looks bad." Getting four sets of pissed off eyes looking at him, Robbie finished quickly. "But you know her. She's a fighter. She might have lost one battle, but you are the war. A war that all of us, including you, **KNOW** she won't lose. Right?" All the evil looks dissapated, knowing that Robbie was actually saying something helpful, for once. Cat nodded, and gave a genuine smile for the first time since returning to her apartment earlier that evening.

"That's right, Cat. She needs you now more than you needed her. She doesn't know how to fight like you did. You need to help her, teach her. I think it best if you both take time away, let everything settle down. Just spend time alone, making sure to drive home just how much you love each other. Make sure this never happens again." Beck watched as Cat's eyes were elated to the thoughts of keeping Tori locked away, and "driving home" their love.

Everyone knowing the look on Cat's face, they shared a laugh. If anything about Caterina Valentine were true, it was her ability to go and never stop. She had more boundless energy than an entire Kindergarten classroom. If she needed to rid herself of some of it, she had absolutely no problem doing so. And Tori loved helping her with it.

A doctor came into the waiting room, annoncing Tori's name and getting five sets of concerened eyes looking at him. Cat started stepping up, Jade by her side.

"Victoria Vega?"

"That's me." Cat extended her hand, the doctor skeptical.

"Are you family?"

"I'm her fiancé, Cat. Her family is on the way from Los Angeles, and won't be here until morning."

"Okay, well I can't talk to anyone who isn't immediate family."

Jade, knowing the way to talk to doctors, stepped in. "Excuse me, doc, but you have an obligation to make sure Tori is taken care of, right?"

"Of course."

"Well then, please tell me how you expect anyone other than her fiancé to treat her the best? And take care of her?"

"Well, I-"

"OR-" Jade hated being interrupted. "- how you can expect to keep her in the dark when the one she loves is in the hospital with a large amount of blood loss, and probably psycho-sematic trauma?" Knowing the final few words went over Cat's head, Jade rubbed her back. It was her silent sign of "I'll explain later." Cat didn't say anything, nodding accordingly. The doctor sighed, giving in.

"Well, Cat, Tori had a large amount of blood loss. Thankfully, you found her in time. A few minutes longer, and she might not be here. But after stitching the lacerations, and giving her blood transfusions, her vitals are finally coming around. She will be in the hospital for a few days for observation, but may be released by the weekend."

**"Four days. Four days until Tori is back home. I love her too much to let her go. And I will teach her to fight. I will protect her, just like she protected me."**

"Okay. Anything else?"

"When she gets home, she will be very weak. I suggest at least a week of bedrest, maybe more if things are too tough for her. I am writing a reccomendation for a psychiatrist, suggesting that she see her at least twice a week."

"Okay. Any medications?"

"I can't write anything for depression or the likes, because it's not my field or specialty. The psychiatrist will have to do that. I am writing one for the pain she might feel after leaving, because her body will be weak."

"Thank you. Anything else?"

"Not that I'm aware of, but in time we may know if anything else is needed. Once her body rebuilds its blood count and she regains her strength, she will be able to tell us what she needs. Until then, we just wait. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"I'm okay. Thank you." Cat extended her hand, allowing the doctor to leave.

xxxxx

David and Holly Vega finally arrived at the hospital, with a whining Trina, around sunrise. Trina, though she loved Tori, was still as vain as ever, and didn't understand that even though her sister was in a bad way, why she should have to come and watch her sleep.

"Because, young lady, we're family. And just because you think so, the world DOES NOT revolve around you."

"Buuuttttt dddaaaaadd." Trina was persistant, knowing that the cute guy she had pressured into asking her out might not do so a second time. So if she had to flake, she may not get another opportunity.

"No. If not for Tori, at least stay for Cat's benefit. Jade said she was going mental without Tori. And you remember what Cat said, right?"

"Yeah." Trina's voice was rather disinterested, but she understood. Or at least, complied. Cat had fought off the same thing Tori was going through. So Cat would need to be extra strong for Tori. And Trina needed to support Cat so she could do the best job possible with her baby sis.

"Okay. Now I'm sorry if this isn't as important as whatever else you had planned, but this is where we will be, until further notice. And don't try and sneak out. I'll cut off your funding." David had agreed, much to Trina's delight, to pay for her to move to New York and pay her acting classes. Once he convinced her to move across country, he knew Holly and he would be more than happy with an empty nest. They missed their daughters, but not the drama and constant crap that came along with them.

Cat welcomed the Vega's with a weak smile and even worse sounding hello. Not her usual chipper attitude. All three sets of eyes on her knew the situation was dire. When Jade had called and said Tori was in the hospital, but wouldn't give an exact reason, other than Cat's brother, they all expected the worst.

"Cat, is everything okay?" Jade let Cat tell the Vegas what was happening. For one, she was the closest to the situation, and could easily tell the signs and such and keep them in the loop. They knew Cat would keep in touch on a regular basis. Two, it would help Cat grasp the reality be forcing her to talk about it. Third, it would help her build more strength by letting her know first hand that she had a safety net if needed. So Cat solemnly walked forward and told them the news.

"Tori will be fine. The doctors said that after stopping the bleeding, that Tori was too weak for any real treatment. So they are keeping her here for a few days for observation. She won't need physical therapy, but she will need to see a specialist. They will sit her down and teach her to focus her negativity while there, as a healthy release, and to dwell on happier things when gone. Obviously, they don't want this happening again."

Cat's voice had enough conviction that everyone knew Tori would be in good hands. No one expected it of Cat, but she was being rather mature and handling everything like an adult. But after being through everything herself for as long as she had, it came naturally to her. She understood everything without anything having to be explained.

After warm hugs from her future in-laws, Cat smiled to Jade while walking to Tori's room. She was going to see Tori one last time before heading home and letting Tori's parents take over for a few hours so she could rest.

All the beeping and machinery brought a tear to her eye, and her voice was rather shy and painful. She was trying to hide, sheltering herself from it. But with it ever apparant around her, there was no escape. But she knew not to let it weigh her down. **"Tori needs me. I have to be strong. I can't let her down. I love her."**

"Tori, listen to me. I know you must be scared, with everything that has happened. And I know you don't like asking for other people's help if you don't need to. But this is something you can't do on your own. You know I went through the same thing, and I couldn't have beaten it without you. So please, let me help you." Cat leaned down, placing a light kiss on her forehead. She squeezed her hand, looping the engagement ring around a few times before leaving. With another sad whimper, and a tear in her eye, Jade led her to the car where Beck and André were ready to take her home.

xxxxx

_Tori was quite confused. The room she was in was hollow and dark, no light or sound anywhere. She could hear something, a rather faint beat that kept a constant rhythm. She could feel something warm around her arms, a handcuffing sensation that felt like it was tying her down. Unable to move or find any purchase against the darkness, she sat, waiting for anything to happen. Eventually, the rhythm's echoing volume grew, dragging her out of her prison._

Tori finally awoke rather painfully, the lights and machines around her sending her mind racing. **"Where am I? What happened?"** Her mind was blocking the trauma, as if to protect her from herself. Tori looked up to see her parent's eyes looking down on her.

"Mom? Dad?" Two sets of tear filled eyes met her's, and she couldn't hold back any longer. The pain encompassing her body, the emotion on her parent's face, she couldn't help cry herself.

"TORI!" Holly, not wanting to touch anything or pull any wires, got to her as quickly as possible. Tori winced in pain, not knowing exactly what had happened.

"Mom, what happened?"

"You lost a lot of blood, sweetie?"

"How?"

Holly didn't know how to tell her daughter her wounds were self inflicted. It wasn't a topic of conversation most people knew how to have. She looked down, pointing at her arms. Tori struggled to move, the pain paralyzing her. She eventually saw the stitches, and felt the searing pain that came along with them.

"Did... did...", Tori couldn't form the question. But her parents instantly knew what she was asking.

"Yes, sweetie, you did."

"Why?"

"I was hoping you could tell us." The psychiatrist that had been reccomended was stepping in, a business card in hand. She gave it to David, stating that she was there on orders from Tori's doctor. David moved, allowing the woman more room to work. She looked at Tori, hoping to prompt a response.

**"I can't do this. Where's Cat? Why did she leave? What will I do?"** Tori's mind was racing, any and all negativity finding its way in rather quickly. There wasn't anything positive about her situation to calm her down. Her parent's frieghtened looks, the weird looking older doctor looking at her, the beeps and tubes all around her. She was finding more things to be depressed about, and started slipping down. Her heart racing, she started panicing.

"TORI. TORI, CALM DOWN." Her mother's voice had no effect, Tori starting to try and move. She couldn't, which in turn sent her panic even further. After the bells and whistles of her machines alerted those around her, a doctor came in.

"I NEED 10mg OF MORPHINE, STAT!" Placing the syringe in a tube, which relayed into the latina's bloodstream, she was out cold in moments.

Cat, who had returned from home after a nap, had walked in in the middle of the farcas. Knowing what was going on, she looked on helpless as Tori was knocked out. Her mind picked up Tori's fear, answering her own subconscious questions. **"Can I help Tori? YES. WILL****I help Tori? YES. But how do I if she won't let me? He got to her, and he has gotten to me before."** Cat's resolve changed in that moment, her mind remembering something that had happened.

_"Caterina Valentine, I know this is a bit quick, but I know now why you love me, and that I love you too. You complete me, and you pretect me, even when you are faced with the darkest of situations. I have thought about this endlessly as I watched you lay there. You are the most beautlful, amazing girl I know. And I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. But now that I know, I want nothing more than the opportunity to prove to you how much I love you, and how I want to be here for you and with you, in the darkest and brightest times in your life. I want to share the joys of life, and the fear and uncertainty that comes with it. Will you, will you marry me?"_

Cat finally understood what Tori meant by "the fear and uncertainty that comes with it." This was their fight, their struggle. Everyone goes through struggles in their lives. Some are much bigger than others. Her mind played with that thought, those words. Her resolve and conviction strengthened. **"You will not get her. You didn't get me. I will beat you again, and I will be happy. WITH HER. FOREVER."**

**Okay, chapter 4. I wanted Cat to have another struggle with her past. The stress of Tori harming herself set her back a bit, but remembering what had been said, forced her to move on from it. Tori is about to hit therapy, and be forced to deal with it, also. Will she have the fortitude and courage to overcome it, or will she be overwhelmed? I hope I am keeping this interesting, and hope you will continue to review. On that note, please, R/E/R!**

**P.S.: Just a heads up for anyone looking for a good Victorious Story. Some of my favorites, in no particular order, are:**

**What's In A Secret by Italo Capasso (Jori)**

**Streetlights by amberpire (Jori)**

**The Yin and The Yang by Quitting Time (Jori)**

**The Art of Falling In Love by .Point (Cori)**

**I Should Hate Her by DarkMistKiss (Cade)**

**If any of the authors mentioned above do not want their stories being advertised here, send me a PM and I will edit and remove them at my earliest convenience.**


	5. Trying So Hard

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 5 - Trying So Hard**

_"Cat? Hey sweetie, I have a question. Do we want red and white roses, half and half each? Or just pink?" Tori was trying to help Cat with the wedding preparations. But seeing as she would be playing the part of "groom", it was her job to just show up, look good, and say I do. And Cat never hesitated to tell her looking good shouldn't be that hard._

_"Um, let me handle it baby." Cat was doing the entire wedding herself. After everything that Tori knew about Cat was proven competely wrong, with Cat showing a lot of maturity with their past and such, Tori agreed to let her plan the wedding. Tori wasn't having second thoughts, per se, but was curious. She was a girl too, and had planned this day in her own head for ninteen years also. So she felt she deserved some input._

_"But-"_

_"No buts. Except that nice one in your jeans."_

_"Don't forget yours!" Tori made sure to run her hands under Cat's skirt, squeezing with a bit too much force. Cat whimpered at the pain, and Tori instantly knew she would have to make it up to her. Not that she minded, but still._

_"Anyways, you told me what you wanted. Please, trust me. I know what I'm doing." Tori finally agreed, with a bit of reluctance, and stilled her tongue. It instantly went back to work, Cat's dancing along side her's, a pssionate kiss being shared._

_"Tori-"_

_"TORI-"_

_"Ms. Vega?-"_

Tori finally snapped out of the thoughts, the psychiatrist getting her attention.

"Please, I asked you to call me Mrs. Valentine." Even though Tori was the "groom", she was taking Cat's name after the wedding. Cat had told her that having Valentine as their last name would easily remind them to be as naughty as possible on February 14th. Tori agreed almost instantaneously, elating the smaller redhead.

"I'm sorry. You fell asleep again." Tori was only one week removed from the hospital, and Cat was making sure to take extra special care of her. Tori's hormones were constantly rushing, because Cat never allowed her to outlet her lust. Cat reminded her that the doctors wanted her to rest for two full weeks. So Tori kept reminding herself of just how long she had. **"Six more days, Cat. Then you're mine."**

"Sorry. What were we talking about?"

"The attack. What happened?" Tori's mind had repressed the memories, building a wall against it. Her mind was instead filled with constant thoughts of her wonderful redhead. Not that she minded. Tori couldn't recall anything about the attack, or the night she landed in the hospital. That didn't stop the pysch from trying. She was determined to bring it out so Tori could confront it and move on. Tori's subconscious wasn't ready to agree, and was doing everything possible to keep the walls up.

"Uh, well-" Another blank. Tori focused, her eyebrow furrowing. After producing a small headache, she finally got a small flash. Her eyes lit up. So much for the subconscious walls. "OH. Uh, well-" _Cat was naked beneath her, a man's voice calling out behind her. The intimidation was more than enough to send cold chills down both their spines, and even though Tori had never laid eyes on him before, she knew who it was._

"Yes, Mrs. Valentine-"

"A man. A voice, calling out to Cat. Uh, he uh, well-" As quickly as it came, it left. The fear instilled in her from the voice was sending a chill down Tori's back, quivering her body. Tori's blood pressure was rising, and she was starting to panic. She started curling into a ball, rocking back and forth.

"Mrs. Valentine? Calm down. You need to breathe. Its not real. You're fine."

"Don't. Please. Don't hurt her. Take me instead." Tori, though not knowing what she was facing, was protecting Cat. And though it was all in her mind, she couldn't help the guilt that came when she felt she was failing. She started crying, continually rocking and repeating the same words. "I love her. Take me instead."

The psychiatrist watched, hoping that Tori could work her way through the fear. After a few minutes, she clanked spoon on the side of her glass of water. Tori heard the noise, snapping her out of it. The doctor had set up the glass as a "saftey net", using it whenever Tori fell into a hypnotic trance.

"Its alright, Tori. You're fine. Why don't we call it a day, and I'll see you day after tomorrow." Tori was coming every other day, doing her best to recall anything that could help remove the blocks from her mind, and help her protect Cat. Though she couldn't rememeber why, she knew she promised Cat to protect her from that voice. Tori nodded her head, leaving after shaking the specialist's hand.

Walking out of the room, into the arms of her wonderful fiancée, she kissed her and smiled. "How'd it go?" Cat's smile was visable from across the entire waiting room. It vanished quickly.

"Well, I finally remembered something. A man's voice." Cat froze. She instantly rememebered it, the fear striking her and causing her to look away. She didn't want Tori to talk about it. If it started attacking her again, there was no telling what might happen.

Cat understood the therapy was necessary, but going too far might be dangerous. Tori hadn't heard a single voice, and didn't threaten herself in any way. So why try and remove the blocks her mind had set up to protect her? Cat didn't understand.

"Everything alright?" Cat's confused look was adorable to Tori, the way she crinkled her nose and her eyes got a distanced stare to them. Unable to resist, Tori leaned down, kissing the tip of her nose.

"ALRIGHT!" There was Beck and André, who were supposed to be gone for Vancouver already. But after calling the tour manager and explaining the situation, André had bought himself a few days to stay in New York and help. He, Beck, and Jade were flying out in a few hours. They would all be coming back in a month when André's tour brought him to Boston and the New England area, so they were hoping that Tori would be back on stage by then.

Jade, who had heard their collective excitement, slapped them both. Beck didn't mind. It was something she did. André on the other hand, looked quite appalled.

"Next time, it's my scissors. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am." Jade's satisfied look turned to Cat.

"You two gonna be okay without us?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"Beck and I are always one phone call away."

"I don't want to pressure you into looking after us. We'll be fine." Tori was being as reassuring as possible, and the therapy was helping her, sort of. It had just opened a door she wasn't ready to go through, but Cat was there. But if Tori was protecting her, then drag her into it? Jade took Tori's reassurance as a sign to leave, and pulled to two boys with her to get ready for the airport. Cat grabbed the latina's hand, leading her outside.

"Tori, I think it's time for lunch." Cat was hungry, having not eaten since her light breakfast. It was past two, and the girls had been in the office for three hours. Tori never exactly knew how the time got away from her, when all she did was sit and listen to the doctor. After listening to tactics for facing the fear and pain, and trying to remove the guilt that she was failing Cat, Tori would eventually zone out and the time would be lost.

"Yep. What we eating?" Tori wanted Cat to say each other, but her hopes were dashed rather quickly.

"Food." Cat got a fake slap to her face, Tori laughing at the horrible joke.

"Seriously baby. I'm starved."

"Well, how about we go home and make some chicken salad? And after-" Cat watched her latina's eyes widen, hoping for something extra. "- we could curl up and watch some movies. Maybe make out a bit?"

"And maybe more?"

"No, baby. You know I want it as bad as you. But the doctor said to keep you rested for two weeks."

"Oh, phooey. A few days that he doesn't know about won't kill him, or me." Tori was trying so hard to release her pent up frustration, but Cat stood her ground.

"No." Cat had matured so much since her brother attacked her, and she was actually being the responsible one. She felt responsible for Tori. The worst part was that she knew why Tori had hurt herself, but Tori wouldn't talk about it. Cat was thankful of it, but knew that if it came around again, that what happens may be irreversable.

xxxxx

**"Why is Cat with me? I know she loves me, but doesn't she know I'm not right for her? I'm too much of a screw up. I wound up in the hospital, but can't remember how. And there is something I should be protecting her from. But she is the one looking after me. I am such a loser. How can I do that to her? She deserves better than me."**

"Tori? Everything okay?" Tori was silent. After the flash from earlier, Tori was doubting wether she could protect Cat or not. She felt the chill again, knowing that the fear it produced could and would paralyze her if it ever came again. And unfortunately for her, she didn't know that it never would.

"Yeah, baby." Cat was unconvinced.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, promise." Tori's guilt from lying to Cat found its way in again. Why should she lie when Cat was only there to help. **"Because I have to protect her. But from what exactly? That voice? What does it want with her?" **Tori couldn't remember anything except the voice. What it wanted was still a blank.

"Okay, Tori. We don't have to talk about it." Cat looked away, a small tear running down her cheek. **"Why won't she let me help? What is going through her head that has her so confused and afraid?" **She got up from the table, taking her plate with her to the sink.

"Well, it's just, um. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure baby, anything."

"Alright, well let's say, hypothetically, that something happened between us. Something bad."

"Tori, I don't like where this is going."

"I just want to know that you'll be with me through thick and thin. That no matter what comes our way, no matter what might come between us, that you'd stick around."

"Tori-" Cat was trying to be careful, not wanting to mention anything about the attack or her brother. "- look at your left hand." Tori looked down, playing with her ring. "You see what I see?"

"It's a ring!" Tori was being playful, like a three year old who wanted praise from their parent for doing or saying something right. Cat, on the other hand, had another word for it.

"That's a promise, Tori. My promise to you that I have loved you for longer than you know, and will for the rest of my life. I'm not going anywhere, you can count on that." Tori's face was beaming. Cat hoped that any doubt or struggle in Tori's mind would go away, that they could get back to their normal lives.

Tori got up from lunch, helping Cat with the dishes. After grabbing her ass, elating the small redhead, Tori leaned in and kissed her. Tori started playing like a kid with a new toy. She wasn't taking no for an answer. She would get her lust out, one way or another.

"Tori, stop." Cat was trying to pull away. She wanted Tori too, but knew the doctors had set limitations for a reason. If Tori didn't heal completely physically, she might not ever fully recover. She knew how much it exhausted Tori every time they had sex, much like Cat. They had to spend a good two hours in bed, or on the couch, doing nothing more than holding each other. She wanted Tori's recovery to go as smooth as possible.

"Why?" Tori's voice had just enough seduction to it that Cat melted, and started leading her to the bedroom. The smiles on their faces were wider than Texas, and Cat felt her control and mental fortitude starting to leave her. She had one last weapon, something she never pulled out but knew would stop Tori cold turkey.

"Wait, do you want me to call JADE?" Cat knew she had won, watching as Tori pouted and started rebuttoning her shirt. "Hey, don't worry about that." Cat continued smiling, looking her up and down. Unfortunately, Tori didn't like the game her fiancée had pulled.

"Oh no, if we're not doing this, then you don't get a free show. Now, which is it?" Tori's smile returned, watching as Cat's resolve and control were about to leave her again. Cat walked out, cursing the open air. Tori knew she only cursed when she was beaten, and throughly so.

"You are so mean to me." Cat was only kidding, and was happy when Tori's laugh filled the air. Much like everything else, she instantly lost her train of thought whenever she heard it. She would stare dumbfounded into the open air.

"Come back in here and I'll show you just how mean I am."

"JADE." Tori shut up, her hormones finally subsiding. Other than Jade, there were only two things that would make her stop. Whatever was plauging her mind, which she still had no idea what it was, and Trina. Trina had a way of getting in the way, almost intentionally. Like she cared for her sister and future in-law, but didn't much care for their shows of affection.

Most guys enjoyed the show, and even some girls. But Trina went out of her way to make it known not to do it around her. Cat and Tori did intentionally at times, but only went so far with it. They would wait until Trina got up from whatever she was doing, then retire to the bedroom. Of course, now that they were in New York with their own apartment, no one could tell them otherwise. They were adults, and living on their own.

"Fine. I'm gonna take a nap. Wanna join me?" Cat never hesitated at any opportunity to hold Tori, for any reason. She was wary that Tori was still trying to seduce her, so she hid in the bathroom for a few minutes to make sure that her fiancée actually did take a nap. When she finally joined the lightly sleeping Tori, placing her arms around her and kissing the back of her neck, Tori spun into her.

"I love you, Cat. More and more everyday. Please don't ever leave me, no matter what." Cat, not understanding why Tori would say something along those lines, nodded along. Tori was pleading with her in her head. **"Cat, there is something that I have to protect you from. I don't know what it is, but I promise I will do whatever it takes. But for some reason if I fail, please don't get angry and leave me. I love you too much to lose you."**

"I love you too, Victoria." Cat didn't use Tori's full name unless it was really important. But she saw the struggle on Tori's face, and decided to help her calm down. She placed a light kiss on her lips, so she didn't escalate either's hormones again, and closed her eyes. Tori started lightly snoring again, and Cat finally slept as well.

xxxxx

**"I can't let it hurt her. I WON'T let it hurt her. But I don't even know what IT is, or what it wants. So how do I protect her?"** Tori's self doubt was growing. And the more it built, the more worried she became. And in turn, it caused Cat to being to fret.

**"If she can't handle this, what am I going to do? I know that he's gone, but this is something new. I never faced this type of uncertainty. Not knowing what you're facing must be scary. I need to help her."** Cat looked up to Tori, who was watching the clock expectantly.

**"11:54."** Cat had promised the moment the clock struck twelve, and it rolled into a new day, they would **finally** let the restraints go. Cat knew what Tori was doing, so she decided to play with her.

"Hey Tori, you know it's daylight savings time? The clock rolls back an hour." Tori's eyes went wide. **"Why am I being tortured? Why- Wait a second!"**

"Uh, I thought the clocks rolled back in Fall. Its only August. We still have months till then. Besides, clocks go at two AM, not midnight."

Cat was busted, and she knew it. She decided to go another route. "What about L.A. time? We're both from California, you know. We might want to go by their time." Tori playfully swatted her shoulder, making the redhead "cry". "Oh, I'm sorry baby. Here, let me see." Tori looked at the shoulder, placing a small kiss.

Cat winked at her as she looked up to the clock. **"Two minutes to go!"** Cat was almost as happy as Tori. At least Cat could pleasure herself while Tori had been in the hospital. And Tori never stopped her when she got out of the hospital. On the contrary, she loved watching. But the moment she would try to do anything, Cat would stop her and Tori's euphoria was instantly gone. So she had about three full weeks of frustration to let out.

Finally the clock rolled over, and Cat, knowing it was coming, took her skirt off. Tori probably ripped every piece of clothing she had on, and pinned her down. Their exploits left them drained, and they eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.

**ALRIGHTY, this looks like a GREAT spot to stop. Right in time for sexy time! Tori's walls are built strong, but are they fortified enough? What will happen if they fall? Would she and Cat be able to handle it? Also, Tori seems to be angry or depressed that she isn't as strong as she needs to be. How bad can it get, or will it get? There is so much more to tell, and many more things to come. I only hope you'll stick around. Please, R/E/R!**


	6. Progress Report

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 5 - Progress Report**

_"Tori, I need to tell you something."_

_"Yeah, baby?" Tori was looking into the seductive eyes of her fiancée, noticing the worry._

_"Well, I-, uh, um-" Cat wasn't usually hesitant about something she wanted or needed, so Tori instantly calmed her hormones, listening intently._

_"Cat, what's wrong?"_

_"Tori, I'm pregnant." Tori's eyes went wide. They had never discussed children. The only mention had been Cat's uncoherent ramblings when she was in the hospital. And Tori had stifled them rather quickly. Neither of them was ready for a child._

_"What? How?" There were a few possibilities. One, she had a moment of weakness and slept with some guy. Two, she had been raped, and was too ashamed to tell Tori. Tori instantly erased that possibility, because they hadn't been apart for more than a few hours since Tori's nightmares had begun. Option three, Cat had been artificially inceminated._

_"Beck. He came a few weeks ago when you were asleep, and well, I-" Tori instantly felt sick. Not only was she having a problem accepting that she wasn't good enough to protect her fiancée from the voices in her head, but now she wasn't even good enough to keep her in her bed at night._

_"I- I- I-" Tori got up, leaving their apartment and walking the streets of New York. Cat was following her, begging her forgiveness, but Tori was too contained in her own mind to hear her._

_"Tori, please." Cat caught her, and spun her around. The instant she felt Cat embracing her, she cried. Out of frustration and pain, and the same fear that still kept her occupied in her head. She knew that even though she hated what had happened, she loved her too much to leave, especially since she had to protect her._

_"I love you, Tori. I'm so sorry." The last few words echoing in her mind, Tori couldn't help counter with __**"I'm the one who is sorry. You obviously don't see me as a strong enough person, and I can't protect you. I'm letting you down."**_

_"I'm so sorry-"_

_"I'm so sorry-"_

_"I'm so sorry-"_

Cat was standing over Tori, watching as the nightmare was unfolding. Though she didn't know what was happening, she couldn't help feel partly responsible. Tori looked up to her, questioning the tears in her eyes.

"Cat? What's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry, Tori."

"For?" Her dream instantly replaying in her head, she almost feared asking. If there really was something that terrible, she didn't want to know.

"There is something that you're hiding from, or afraid of. I'm sorry for putting you through it, whatever it is." Cat knew, but didn't want to bring it up. Tori's therapy was going well. She had grasped the idea that the voice wasn't real, but was still struggling with the concept that the threat was. She was still depressed, and angry. Angry that she couldn't figure it all out. Depressed that she was failing Cat. And now with what Cat had just said, she felt guilty for being so weak.

xxxxx

"Mrs. Valentine, you're doing so well." Tori's progress was coming along well. It had been two weeks since hearing the voice, and a full three weeks since having a nightmare. She was willing herself to be happy, focusing her attention on Cat as much as possible. Cat didn't mind too much, as after wanting Tori as long and as badly as she had, she decided to do everything possible to prove how she felt. And Tori relished being loved so much in her time of need.

"Thank you. I feel like I'm finally comfortable with confronting everything that happened."

"So you remember?"

"No ma'am, but Cat never ceases to remind me that whatever it was, that the threat isn't there and I have nothing to fear."

"But you're not so sure, are you?"

"How'd you know?"

"I can see it in your eyes. Something hidden or unspoken. What is it?"

"I'm not so sure. I know there is no threat, and I know that Cat is capable of handling herself, but still. She leaned on me and needed me. And just because the threat isn't there-"

"You're afraid that now that there is nothing she needs protection from, that she'll leave you?"

"Yeah. I mean, if she doesn't need protection, why is she keeping me around?"

"She loves you. Isn't that enough?"

"I guess, but still.-"

"Tori, you need to see that Cat doesn't stay with you because she's afraid of something, but because she loves you. You healed her, right?"

"Yeah."

"Do you feel you're owed something because of that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think that protecting Cat is the only way to keep her around. Like if there is nothing to keep her safe from, that there is nothing tying you to her and keeping her around."

"Maybe- I don't know." Tori was beginning to cry. The thoughts of losing Cat were unbareable. Now that she was being forced to confront the possibility, it overwhelmed her rather quickly. The psych stepping in.

"Tori, listen. Cat loves you, and she wants to be with you. And the way you talk about her about wanting to protect and shield her, you obviously love her and want to be with her, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so focus on that. Not the fear, not your protective nature. Just focus on loving her, and showing her every day that nothing will ever come between you. Do you want to know something?"

"What?"

"Love is the most powerful and true emotion. Nothing can trump it, nothing can defeat true love. And if what you and Cat have is real and true, then you really have nothing to fear." Tori let her doctor's words sink in, noting the clarity and wisdom. She smiled at the thought, knowing that she and Cat would be together forever.

"Thank you. I'll remember that."

"Now, is there anything else you need? Or do you want to call this a day?"

"Well, I feel angry too. Angry and depressed that I failed Cat."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because, even if I didn't need to protect her from whatever I was hearing, I still hurt myself and shut her out from being able to help me."

"And the anger and depression. What does that make you want to do?"

"Scream, curl into a ball and cry."

"Why?"

"Because I still feel like I failed her."

"Failure is a part of life, Tori. You can't focus on failure. You need to learn from those mistakes and put them behind you. You're sorry about what happened, correct?"

"Of course. That's why I'm here. Trying to learn to deal with it, to correct what's wrong and make myself better because of it."

"Say that last part again."

"Huh?"

"The last part of what you said, say it again."

"Correcting what's wrong and making myself better?"

"Right. And how do you do that?"

"By focusing on my love for Cat, letting her help me?" Tori, unsure if that was the correct answer, looked to her therapist for the answer. She was nodding along, making Tori's mind ease from its discomfort.

"Exactly. Your friends and family are there as a safety net. Even if you don't feel like you need help, or if you don't want to be a burden, just know one thing. Your friends and family are there for you, no matter what. They wouldn't offer if they didn't want or couldn't help. You understand?"

"I guess. But-"

"Tori, fear and failure are a part of life. Friends are there to help with it, guiding you through. And Cat is the best person for the job, because of your love for each other. If no one else, then at least talk to her about it."

The doctor was doing what Cat had asked her. Cat was upset that Tori wouldn't open up to her, and let her take some of the pressure off. But Tori knew that Cat had had enough trouble in her life, and she didn't want to add anything to her load. But she also couldn't carry the burden on her own. Tori's too helpful nature wouldn't allow her to hurt anyone, even if indirectly. But Cat didn't care about the damage she might suffer. She just wanted to see Tori pull through and get back to her happy self.

"I'll try."

"Good, now, it's past out alotted time today. Is there anything else you need?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well, if that's the case, and you are coming along so well, let's go a few more days between visits, hmm. Today is Thursday. And you have a performance Sunday night, correct?" Tori and Cat were starring together in their musical, both overjoyed that their friends would be there again to see them.

"Yes. Cat and I are the leads, and our friends will be there to watch and cheer us on. Unfortunately, they weren't able to see our last show, because, well, you know. But since André is going to be preforming in New England, and Robbie has some free time, they're all coming to watch. Cat and I are thrilled, and dying to put on the performance of a lifetime."

"Then I wish you well, and enjoy the time with your friends. Victoria-" The doctor decided on her full name, getting her attention as much as possible. "- remember. Friends don't offer unless they want to help, okay?"

"Yes. Thank you again."

xxxxx

Cat watched as Tori exited the psych's office, happier than ever before. "How'd it go?"

"Great. Best visit yet. I really feel like I had a breakthrough." Cat's eyes beemed at the thought. **"Finally. Hopefully we can put this behind us."** She wrapped her up, kissing her and tickling her sides.

"HEY, stop. Not until tonight." Cat always did that to tease Tori and get her in bed. As if she didn't have enough weapons at her disposal to do the exact same thing.

"Yeah, about that. Jade and Beck are already here, and André will be here in a few hours. Robbie will be here Saturday after his show in Boston. So we can't."

"You tease. I love you." Another swift kiss, and the women went on their way.

xxxxx

"So, Tori, how's the therapy coming?" Jade sounded disinterested. Her concern for Cat's saftey and well being allowed her to be cordial, but she still acted like she wasn't friends with Tori.

"Good. I had a breakthrough earlier today. I finally realized that my fear and failure are learning points. They help make me stronger, not tear me down. And I finally realized that I need to focus more on my love for Cat and let that be my guidance."

"That's good, Tor. We're happy for you." Beck stood up to hug his friend, Jade watching carefully. Sure she knew there wasn't a threat of Beck being stolen, but she knew his hands liked to wander. She was intent to keep him from doing so, but still. Tori's ass is anything but irresistable. But he held back, not wanting to upset any of the three girls. A swift knock at the door alerted the four friends.

"S'open." Tori called out, knowing that André was behind the door. He had texted that he was in his cab on the way, and would be there soon.

"Hey, chicá. Little Red." He hugged his friends, then turned to Jade, wrapping her up as well. Swift kisses to cheeks were exchanged, and Beck gave him an akward "bro hug". Those one handed, patting each other on the back types.

"André!" Tori hadn't seen her friend in good circumstances in a few months, because last time he was around, they were in the hospital. She was excited to see his guitar in hand. They always had the best time when they would just randomly play and sing whatever came to mind. Those were her favorite times with her friends. Just BSing, forgetting the cares of the world. **"Huh. I'll need to use these memories also to help myself."**

"So, Tori, how's the therapy going?" Tori was getting a bit annoyed at the constant inquiries, but being reminded that her friends only wanted to help, she responded gracefully.

"Good. I was just telling them that I finally made a breakthrough, that I can learn and move on from what happened. And that I should let Cat's love for me help me and guide me. She did go through something like this, ya know. So I should use her experience." That wasn't something that had been previously discussed, but the truth in her own words gave Tori another light at the end of the tunnel.

"Great. Now, I'm hungry. Dinner anyone?"

"Sure, where?"

"I know a great place." Cat had been eating at a small hole in the wall place, noting that it was somewhere all her friends would really enjoy. She grabbed the keys to the apartment, locking the door when everyone exited. She grabbed Tori's ass, making the latina jump.

"Hey, don't tease me. Unless you want our friends to have a free show." Tori leaned in, kissing her. Jade, knowing the guys all too well, stepped in.

"DON'T!" Jade instantly stiffled any thought André or Beck might have, knowing exactly what would go through their heads. She looked at the two downcast boys, their joy whisked away before it ever even began.

After arriving at the restaurant, Cat said hello to the familiar wait staff. "Logan, hey! This is my fiancée, Victoria."

"Tori."

"Ahh, the infamous Tori. Cat talks about you all the time. She loves you, ya know."

"Yeah, well, I love her too. Maybe more." Tori knew that if Cat could tease, so could she. She could almost visualize the wetness in Cat's panties, knowing that Cat understood the unspoken challenge. Tori smiled, driving home her thought. **"Game on, baby!" **Knowing that Cat spoke of her so well gave Tori more reassurance that things were getting better, and that she and Cat truly were meant for each other and would be together forever.

"Well, ladies. Gentlemen. Table for five?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Right this way. Cat, I'll have your hot tea in a moment." Cat looked away from Tori, shying away from the gaze she was receiving.

"Cat, when did you get a liking for tea?" Tori had never seen her drink it, but knowing that she did made her curious.

"Well, you seem to love it so much, so I ordered it once for you without realizing you weren't here. And I had aksed, so I drank it. I loved it instantly, just like I loved you." **"She subconsciously took my love of hot tea and made it her own? Strange. I wonder what else of mine she started doing without knowing it?**

Knowing that Cat was slowly molding herself into a likeness of Tori, she started wondering what she had done to become more like Cat. After a few minutes of reassuring thoughts that made her realize just how much she and Cat had grown toward each other, she finally felt complacent. **"Cat and I love each other. We are meant for each other. Maybe I don't need to feel guilty. Maybe I don't need to protect her to keep her. If I just love her the best way possible, then there is no doubt we will be together forever."**

The breakthrough in her mind, Tori settled in for a wonderful evening with her friends. She allowed her mind to be free of everything, accepting the freedom she had recently found. The relief on her mind, and the peace of being surrounded by love and affection, she finally found her strength to fight. And she finally fortified her mind, shielding herself against anything that may come.

**YAY! Tori had a breakthrough, and it seems to be helping. Will everything finally get smoothed out? Is the fight over? Please, R/E/R!**

**P.S.: If any of you have read my Jori, "The Script", know that I added a short epilogue a few days ago. If you haven't read it, please do so and let me know how it went.**


	7. Performing Again

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 7 - Performing Again**

_"It is now my pleasure to present to you, Mrs. and Mrs. Caterina Valentine." Their day had finally come, Cat and Tori in front of their friends declaring their love forever. Their wedding was simple, a nice church in upstate New York surronded by their friends and families. Cat kissed her wife, turning and walking down the aisle. Cat was in the same style of tuxedo she had worn when Tori tried getting over her fear of heights, and Jade kicked her off the ledge._

_Tori walked along side her, her flowing dress following behind. She watched as André moved with Jade, the best man and maid of honor following behind. Robbie and Beck gathered Tori's other brides maids, following the rest down. Their parents, with tears in their eyes, moved quickly to get to the reception to set everything up._

Tori was finally content, her dreams peaceful and restful. She hadn't had a nightmare since her doctor had given her the advice she desperately had needed. Once she learned to accept that is was behind her, and that those closest to her were doing everything possible to help her, she rested her mind and found peace. Cat was snoring along side her a smile on her face as her dream played out in her mind.

xxxxx

"Alright, people, we have two days until we go on. We need to get everything perfect." After a short hiatus, Tori had been welcomed back to the cast with open arms. There were confused and concerned looks all around, but no one let that get in the way. Tori was a bit behind, her lack of practice showing. But with Cat as the other lead, they used their time at home to practice as well. The play, _Incompatible Perfection_, was about two girls finding love in the people they hated the most.

"And ACTION!"

"Hey, Lizzy, what is the meaning of this? You ask out my ex-boyfriend. I thought you wanted us to be friends. Don't you think that is something scummy to do?"

"Oh, hi Melissa. I didn't ask him out. He asked me out. But I said no. I am not intereseted in him, or any guy right now for that matter."

"So what, you saying you're into women. Hahaha, that's a great joke, Lizzy. If that is the case..."

"What?"

"Nothing, forget about it"

"What is it, Melissa? Why do you have a guilty look on your face?"

Cat leaned into Tori. She kissed her, slowly at first, not sure if she was being stupid, or if she should run away.

"Oh." A flush of red on the cheeks of both girls confirmed what both knew, and had known, for some time.

"That's right, Lizzy, I have had the hots for you since the day we met. I just didn't say anything, because my boyfriend and all of the people around, and-" Melissa was silenced with another kiss. Not cautious this time, but more heated and passionate. This one confrimed a few more feelings. Want, desire, and saftey. And oddly enough, protection.

"Melissa, the reason I always tried to be friends, and to hang out was because, deep down, I was in love with you, and wanted to be with you. But with Aaron, and all of our friends, and even my deranged lunatic of a sister, I just didn't know what to do. I had suspissions that you liked me too, but-" More kissing, this time with so much heat, that if they weren't in a school parking lot after just graduating, clothes would be everywhere.

"Aww, look. It took them long enough." Their friends were coming up to them, giving approving looks. Everyone could finally stop beating around the bush. They congratulated the girls, and sent them on their way.

"CUT! Great guys. Its finally coming together. Tori, that was excellent." Tori may have lost time, and her understudy may have an extra month of practice under her, but Tori was still the lead. So when she came back, much to Cat's delight, Rose had allowed her back in. Cat didn't mind kissing Rose, because stage kisses were a part of acting. But this was different. She could put as much as she wanted into it, and no one, other than the cast, would know.

"Thanks, Micheal." Tori's confidence in herself was growing more and more daily, and she was using that to help herself along. The psychiatrist visits were taken down a notch, from three to two times a week, Monday and Friday. Tori wasn't hearing the voice anymore, and Cat had promised to help in any way possible.

"Now then, you're sure you'll be ready by Sunday night? It is our open of the season, and it needs to be beyond perfect."

"I promise. If you have any doubts, ask Kitty Cat here." Tori never liked using her nickname for Cat, but she felt it semi-appropriate to make her point known.

"Okay. If you need anything, please don't hesitate." Micheal was doing his best with his best voice, because he was risking a lot on the performance. The musical they were performing had been turned down by a few of his colleagues, so by taking the venture himself, he put himself on the chopping block. But her voice was strong with conviction, which helped calm the slightly balding man,

"I will. Thanks again." Cat had already hailed a cab, and it was waiting for them when Tori came out the building. They shuffled into the back seat, giving the driver their home address. They were heading home for the weekend, having their last rehersal the day of. Tomorrow they were picking Robbie up from the airport, and showing their friends around New York for a day.

They had already gotten front row seats for the four of them, and backstage passes for when the show was over. Being from Hollywood Arts, the same school his two best female performers came from, the producer saw no problem in giving passes to people who would most likely be the most famous people in the room. If anything, THEY would be the ones being bombarded for autographs and such.

After arriving home, texting Jade to let her know the plane was arriving at ten in the morning, Cat and Tori settled in for a quiet evening. Cat had insisted their friends stay with them, as their apartment had enough room, but Jade didn't want to impose, plus hated sleeping on couches, and didn't want to see their PDA. So she had "respectfully" refused, by stating she would rather freeze in the streets with hobos than impose on Cat and her "friend". Tori got a nice laugh out of the "joke", knowing that Jade only poked fun because she couldn't do it on a regular basis anymore.

"So, Cat, want Chinese, a pizza, or maybe some of me?" Tori wanted Cat, because all the teasing from the last few days had been torture with their friends around, and Tori's anxiety had built beyond her normal limitations. Cat wanted her too, and Tori had been fighting back rather strongly, and sometimes taking it a bit too far. André's head might still be ringing from when he let out a joyous cry, watching the two girls in their own world going at it. His scream had snapped them out, just in time. Tori's hand was down Cat's panties in the back, and André and Beck were staring, HARD, at her ass. Not that anyone could blame them, except Jade.

"Uh, I don't know. I'm kinda tired." Cat toyed with her, winking at her and pulling her top off. Tori looked at the all too familiar scars on her back and shoulders, cursing the one who had hurt her wonderful fiancée. Tori walked up to her, kissing them lightly and pulling Cat in closer. She spoke slow and seductive.

"I can make sure you get a good night sleep. I know what you like before bedtime." Tori reched under her skirt, running her nails across Cat's inner thigh. Cat instantly melted, and Tori felt her own knees weaken and the fell on the couch together. Two pairs of lips found each other, both girls forgetting the emptiness of their stomachs. After teasing as much as they had, this was neccessary.

Cat, knowing that she had done most of the teasing, decided to let Tori off first. She glided her hand down, measuring the stomach and ghosting her hand along the wet heat in Tori's jeans. Tori, taking in every touch, released herself from her mind and allowed Cat to do as she wished. Cat moved Tori's bra off, using her tongue to trace along the curves of Tori's breasts. Tori moaned and her breath hitched, her ecstacy building.

"Oh, now, Tori. Not too soon. I know you have trouble containing yourself sometimes, but you need to take your time, okay?" Cat enjoyed teasing, especially during sex. The consistancy of it allowed the latina to further escape her mind, riding her high and drifting off.

Tori's body, though, responded for her. Her own hand reached down, pulling Cat's already soaked panties off as she started massaging her ass. Cat used that as motivation, sucking one tit while squeezing the other. Both girls were allowing their pleasure to pace themselves, and the moves only made things smoother. Eventually, Tori moved herself down, placing her lips close to Cat's wet clit. In turn, Cat looked down at the already moist center in front of her.

Both latched on, enciting moans of pleasure and ecstacy. Their enjoyment built more as they both used one hand on their own breasts, and the other to push in and out of their targets. Both girls were pushing each other, both trying to restrain themselves. It was their own battle, the inside understanding. Whoever caved first and whoever came, they were not allowed to be "happy" the rest of the evening.

This evening, it ended in a draw, as both girls tasted their lover at the same time. Cat shifted herself off of Tori, turning herself and allowing their lips to be locked again. The mixture of flavors enticed both girls, and they continued their work. Finally, a winner was decided. Cat came again, and she couldn't control herself as she rubbed her clit against Tori's thigh, moistening it and riding her. Cat finally came down, looking at her brunette.

"Victoria, I love you. I know you've been going through alot, and I understand why. You love me just as much as I love you. I promise you, just like you fought for me when we got together, I will fight for you until my final breath." Cat looked down, seeing the tear produced by her words.

"Caterina, thank you. These have been the best six months of my life, and I hope that I get you for the rest of my life." Cat started crying herself, and it wasn't until Tori's stomach growled, producing a laugh from both girls, that they finally decided on a regular cheese pizza for dinner.

The delivery boy arrived about fourty minutes later, and Tori answered the door. "You're late. I'm not paying for it." She was joking, holding out a twenty to the teenager.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO!" Tori looked down, realizing she didn't have any clothes on. As if out of his greatest fantasy, a nude Cat walked up, wondering who was at the door.

"Who is it?" The boy fainted. Tori grabbed the pizza from the ground, laid the twenty on the boy, and took it inside. Then she decided on something else. She went back outside, grabbed the unconscious boy's phone, and took a picture of herself and Cat together, nude. She wrote a small note. "Now everyone you work with will believe you. Keep the change!" Tori and Cat kissed each other and shared a laugh, both surprised at everything that had just happened.

xxxxx

"You really did THAT!" André, unafraid of Jade, was wide eyed as he listened to his friends' tale.

"Yep. Now, where's Robbie. He was supposed to be here an hour ago." Tori was looking around. She hated the airport, all the people around. She was wary that at any moment, some psycho could do just about anything. Bomb, gun, abduction. There was a plethera of things that could happen.

"Hey chickadees!" Robbie finally walked up, grabbing the girls in a hug. Another hug to Jade, which was more a pat on the back, smiled as he wondered what André and Beck could be so giddy about. "What's with them?"

"Tori and I answered the door last night naked. I think we gave the pizza boy a heart attack." Robbie, who had a crush on both girls, started looking around nervously, avoiding eye contact.

They all left the airport, anxious to be on their way. The entire day was spent, six friends enjoying the big city and all the things that came with it. They each tipped a street guitarist ten bucks, a gracious thank you given. They rode the subway, watching the crazies. They walked through the stores, looked around, all the things that tourists do. Cat and Tori remembered the feeling when they had first arrived.

They all eventually settled in for the night, the next day's performance looming.

xxxxx

"WE WOULD NOW LIKE TO PRESENT OUR OPENING PERFORMANCE OF... _INCOMPATIBLE PERFECTION!"_

The crowd applauded, and Tori took her place. She enjoyed being on stage again, the crowd watching her and allowing her to draw them into her world.

_"Stupid bitch. She's mine."_ The voice returned, but Tori ignored it. **"I have Cat, and she loves me like I love her. I'm not scared. You can't hurt me."**

Tori continued, watching as Cat came up to her.

"Hey, Lizzy, what is the meaning of this? You ask out my ex-boyfriend. I thought you wanted us to be friends. Don't you think that is something scummy to do?"

"Oh, hi Melissa. I didn't ask him out. He asked me out. But I said no. I am not intereseted in him, or any guy right now for that matter."

"So what, you saying you're into women. Hahaha, that's a great joke, Lizzy. If that is the case..."

"What?"

"Nothing, forget about it"

"What is it, Melissa? Why do you have a guilty look on your face?"

Cat leaned into Tori. She kissed her, slowly at first, not sure if she was being stupid, or if she should run away.

"Oh." A flush of red on the cheeks of both girls confirmed what both knew, and had known, for some time.

"That's right, Lizzy, I have had the hots for you since the day we met. I just didn't say anything, because my boyfriend and all of the people around, and-" Melissa was silenced with another kiss. Not cautious this time, but more heated and passionate. This one confrimed a few more feelings. Want, desire, and saftey. And oddly enough, protection.

"Melissa, the reason I always tried to be friends, and to hang out was because, deep down, I was in love with you, and wanted to be with you. But with Aaron, and all of our friends, and even my deranged lunatic of a sister, I just didn't know what to do. I had suspissions that you liked me too, but-" More kissing, this time with so much heat, that if they weren't in a school parking lot after just graduating, clothes would be everywhere.

"Aww, look. It took them long enough." _"You don't deserve her. You never will deserve her."_ Tori's reaction this time allowed her to skip a line. Thankfully, her fellow performers worked away from it, showing their expertise.

Tori continued her performance, the voice continuing to attack. Eventually, it became too much. It was the final act of the play, and Tori let out an ear shattering scream. Again, her fellow actors covered, making it look like it was part of the script. Tori ran, trying to get away. Her friends, knowing that it wasn't part of the show, followed after her.

The audience gave a roaring round of applause as Cat finally caught Tori.

"What happened?"

"The voice. Its back. I tried telling it I wasn't scared. I tried telling it I loved you and nothing else mattered. I tried telling it that I wasn't alone. But I couldn't do it. I'm not strong enough."

"Not alone maybe, but with me you are." Tori's guilt rose again, knowing that she would have to rely on the person she needed to protect. She didn't know if she could do it. She had come so far only to take a bigger step back. And Cat was reaching her own breaking point again.

**Damn, so close. Tori almost had it, but something broght it back up. Can she fight back, or is it too much? Please, R/E/R!**


	8. Breaking Point

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 8 - Breaking Point**

Tori was very distraught, her fear taking over again. She was being huddled around by her closest of friends, those who cared for her and knew how to help her. Cat had her tight, kissing her temple lightly as their companions looked on.

"Guys, I need to get her home. Ya'll can come if you want, but I won't be holding my affection back. So if you don't want PDA, or Jade killing you for "enjoying the show", then don't come. I plan on taking care of her."

Cat hailed a cab, leading Tori inside while watching Jade hail another for everyone else. Tori was unresponsive to anything, including the constant love from her redheaded fiancée.

"Where to, ladies?" The cab driver was a young boy, enjoying watching the girls in his rear view mirror. If Jade had been in the car, he would have most definately been put in his place. But Cat didn't care, and just told him where to go. He watched for the fifteen minutes that it took to arrive, making sure to soak in as much as possible while also maintaining a safe driving experience.

The girls walked up to their apartment. Well, sorta. Cat had to wait for Jade and the two of them literally dragged an unresponsive Tori along. Once inside, Cat found her pearpod, starting a song that Tori had once played for her. They knew it was their song, because it conveyed so much for the two of them, and was perfect for the situation at hand.

**You know I'd fall apart without you  
I don't know how you do what you do  
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me  
Makes sense when I'm with you  
Like everything that's green, girl I need you  
But it's more than one and one makes two  
Put aside the math and the logic  
You gotta know you want it too  
'Cause I wanna wrap you up  
Wanna kiss your lips  
I wanna make you feel wanted  
And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold you hand forever  
Never let you forget it  
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted  
Anyone can tell you you're pretty  
(Yeah)  
You get that all the time, I know you do  
But your beauty's deeper than the makeup  
And I wanna show you what I see tonight  
When I wrap you up  
When I kiss your lips  
I wanna make you feel wanted  
And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold you hand forever  
Never let you forget it  
'Cause baby I wanna make you feel wanted  
As good as you make me feelI wanna make you feel better  
Better than your fairy tales  
Better than your best dreams  
You're more than everything I need  
You're all I ever wanted  
All I ever wanted  
And I just wanna wrap you up  
Wanna kiss your lips  
I wanna make you feel wanted  
And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold you hand forever  
Never let you forget it  
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted  
Yeah, baby I wanna make you feel  
Wanted  
'Cause you'll always be wanted**

Tori didn't respond immediately, but when she finally did, everything came out. She was terrified of the voices and the danger they presented, and ashamed of how she let it consume her. She grabbed Cat and pulled her into a long make out session, which somehow didn't send their male companions into a frenzy. They understood that this was more of a comfort than lust for them, so there wasn't anything to get "excited" about. After the song finally stopped, she looked up to her friends.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to make tonight perfect. I ruined it." Tori started crying again, this time Jade coming to her aide.

"Tori, listen. Even though I never say it out loud, you're my friend. And I hate seeing my friends like this. Your therapy has been going well, right?" Tori nodded. "And there are bound to be drawbacks, correct?" Another nod. Tori knew it wouldn't be easy or perfect. She would have to work at it. But the uncertainty of what she was fighting had her off kilter, unbalanced. And that alone, when she had always been so sure and strong with everything, was enough to alert anyone, inluding herself and Jade. "So, look. Cat is here with you, forever. Beck and I are here if you need us, and I'm sure André and Robbie will do everything they can, too. Right, guys?" The boys nodded. "Just remember, you don't have to do this alone."

Tori let the words sink in. She didn't like relying on people. Her pride in herself rivaled Jade's, making it easy for her doubt to fuel her shame and personal humiliation. But hearing Jade call her a friend allowed her to gain a little happiness. Tori looked up, a smile on her face. The anxiety was gone, she knew she was safe. But her uneasiness was another story. She hid it well, putting on a strong front for her friends.

"Thank you, Jadey." All the friends shared a laugh at Jade's expense, but Jade let it go. It was the first sincere smile they had shared since everything had resurfaced, and she didn't want to ruin it. She walked up to Tori, hugging her and placing a light kiss on her cheek.

"YEAH!" All three boys looked away, as if not to be caught. Cat instead spoke up.

"Hey, she's mine. Get your own." She laughed, kissing Tori again. Jade instantly glared the boys down, three throats clearing. She smiled.

"I have my own. Right Beck?" He smiled, grabbing his fiancée and sitting down with her.

"Right. Now, what's for dinner? I'm starved." They were initally going to have dinner with the cast after the show, but with everything else, Tori wouldn't be up for much company. The decided to order in a few pizzas, and sat talking to Tori and ensuring her they would be there if she needed.

xxxxx

_"Why is it that when I had been doing so well, I fall backward?" Tori was talking into the open air, letting her thoughts have a voice so she could focus them better. "I mean, I'm a good person. I have a wonderful girl by my side, a great career and friends, and an apartment in one of the greatest cities in the world. So why me? Why does everything have to turn out bad?" Tori was pacing, trying to figure things out._

_Cat came in, watching her with a weird look on her face. Almost as if afraid of her, or unsure of what to do or say. Cat never actually kept her distance, no matter the situation. She would always bounce up, grabbing her and making out. And if they were alone, so much more._

_"Cat! Hey baby." The moment Tori said Cat's name, she vanished. Tori could swear she had seen her, but there was absolutely no trace. She was confused, and angry. Why would her girl leave her like that? She searched frantically, coming up short in the endeavor. She fell to her knees, crying and desperate. Nothing came._

Tori woke up, a lightly sleeping Cat beside her. Tori knew it would probably upset the poor girl, or maybe excite her. But she needed her bad. She ripped off all her clothes, and climbed on top of her. She tried shaking her, and tried kissing her. But she knew she would need to freeze her. Cold is the only thing Cat responded to when asleep. Tori ripped the bedsheets off, and turned the fan on as high as possible.

It didn't take long, Cat's eyes alert as she bolted up, shivering. Upon her eyes adjusting to everything around her, Tori's nude form greeted her. Cat really didn't mind this kind of a wake up call, but it still didn't excuse being awoken at three AM.

Tori kissed her, allowing a few moments between kisses to ask one simple question as seductively as possible. "Fuck me?" Tori knew she had her, because Cat had sent the message earlier that evening while their friends were there. Cat decided to play for a moment. She yawned, rolled back over and wrapped up in the covers again. "Maybe another time." She smiled to herself, knowing the trap was set. Tori couldn't resist. "I'll do whatever you want."

Cat turned up to her, winking and getting a slight gulp. "Anything?" Tori cautiously nodded, making the redhead's eyes grow wide. "Okay then." Cat pulled her down, kissing her and reaching for her bare ass. Cat grasped on hard, pulling the latina in tight. Cat spread her legs, her center finding Tori's thigh. She started grinding hard, letting herself go free. Tori reached her hand down, playing with her clit and watching as her eyes closed and she started moaning.

Cat's hands found their way from Tori's ass, around her sides and slowly up her stomach. She latched her hands onto her breasts, squeezing hard and producing more moans from Tori. Their lips continued to dance, their tongues battling for dominance. Finally, Tori felt the warm heat of Cat on her inner thigh, and Cat relaxed for a few moments. Cat was still in a playful mood, so she laid their, unwilling to return the favor. A few moments went by, and Tori finally asked.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Cat looked up, knowing what she meant. She wanted a release also, but Cat decided to have some fun.

"I'm really not in the mood. Thanks anyway. And thanks for your help." Tori's eyes went wide. Her dream started playing in her mind again. Just like it, she had her beauty one moment, and the next, she was gone. She didn't realize that it was a ploy, a tactic to make Tori suffer. But the suffering Tori was going through was completely different that what had been Cat's intention.

Tori got up, shocked, and pulled on some pajamas. Cat looked on, unsure of what had happened. Though her body was overjoyed, her mind was a different story. It was instantly regretting whatever had just happened. Tori walked out of the bedroom, a pillow and blanket in hand. She didn't want to be around Cat for the rest of the night/morning.

xxxxx

_"See, what did I tell you? The moment she doesn't need you, she'll leave you." Everything the psych had said was a lie. Cat didn't really love her that way. She had used Tori, and now Tori was feeling the brunt of whatever had been held back. Cat had won the game, and Tori was the used piece that was to be discarded now that it had no more use_

Her nightmare playing in her head, she tossed and turned violently. Cat finally awoke to see her, and walked up to her, shaking her awake. Tori jumped from her dream, almost butting heads with Cat in the process.

"Tori, what's wrong?"

"Like you care." This was completely new. People had been upset with Cat before. Jade had come across this way so many times, Cat knew to let it go as "Jade being Jade". Tori on the other hand, had never had one cross word for her. Cat was hurt.

"Tori, is something wrong? Is it me?"

"Funny you should ask." Cat was getting more and more frustrated, and was about to start crying.

"Okay. So why did you wake up and decide to be a bitch today?" Cat didn't like offensive language outside the bedroom, especially to those she cared about. But Tori wasn't playing fair, so she wasn't about to either.

"EXCUSE ME?" Tori was finally grasping what the voices had said. Cat was turning on her, leaving her now that she was done with her.

"You are being such a bitch. I have no idea what I did last night, or what I did this morning to deserve this. So why don't you tell me?" Tori looked on, unable to produce any words. Cat wasn't allowed to be angry with her. She had played a game with Tori, used her. And now that it was over, she was trying to blame Tori for everything?!

"I'm being a bitch? What about you?"

"What about me? I love you?"

"Yeah. Sure you do." Tori mocked her, using her southern bell voice that was always used against her. "Then tell me why after I fucked you last night, you wouldn't return the favor."

"IT WAS A JOKE, TORI. I WAS PLAYING A GAME."

"Well I'm not playing anymore. I thought you really did love me. But what the psychiatrist and the voices said was true. You used me to get over your own damn fear. And now that you don't need me anymore, you're just cutting me loose. Right? Admit it!"

"Victoria Vega, listen to yourself. You are making no sense."

"You know, I thought I was supposed to protect you, to keep you safe. But apparently you don't need me anymore, do you? You are nothing but a grade A Bitch for doing this, you know that?"

"That's it. I've heard enough."

"And hey, now that I don't have to protect you, I don't have to be afraid of whatever is coming for you. I'm not sure what it is, but it can have you."

Cat finally snapped. She was fully crying, her tears a mixture of pain, anger, fear, and depression. She loved Tori. She knew the voices were attacking her. She couldn't take it any longer. If Tori wouldn't allow herself to heal, to accept everything and move on, then Cat was either going to force her or get out of the way of its destruction. She was going to give it one more try, one last effort to show Tori just what she meant to Cat. Cat jumped her, pinning her down and kissing her.

Tori melted beneath her, tears streaming from her eyes and her body releasing her for her doubt and fear. She kissed her back, speaking soft "I'm sorry"s between kisses. Cat finally returned the favor from the previous night, using every ounce of her being to make Tori understand and accept what was said. Tori's eyes were closed the entire time, she took in every last touch, every feeling. She finally came, and Cat looked up to her smiling.

"I'm sorry for whatever I did, Tori. I love you. I'm not going anywhere."

"Cat, I don't understand." Tori was still doubting everything. She wasn't sure why Cat had toyed with her head last night, but it was making her question everything that she and Cat shared. And Cat was giong ballistic more and more by the moment hearing her fiancée talking the way she was.

"What, sweetie?"

"Why you're with me."

"Because I love you, Tori. See that ring on your hand there?-" Tori nodded. "- that is a symbol of my promise to love you forever. And this one is a symbol of yours." She pointed to her own ring finger.

"Okay." Tori sighed after saying that, making Cat's irritation grow even more. She was growing less tolerant of Tori's attitude and questions. **"We love each other. Shouldn't that be enough? Why does she have to question it? Question me? If she can't accept it, then what am I doing? I promised her I would always love her, and I will. But being with her is another story. I can't stand it." **Cat was determined to help Tori, just as she had been helped. But how exactly do you help someone who doesn't seem to want it or know how you can help?

"Tori, listen. You remember the promise you made me, to always protect me?"

"Of course. That's why this is so hard. The voices are telling me that you only used me for that protection, and that once you don't need it, that you'll leave. So I don't know which road to follow. Protect you, or let whatever it is go and risk losing you."

"Okay, well look. There is nothing that you need to protect me from. And with that being said-" Cat leaned in, kissing Tori to make sure her emphasis was made. "-I love you and want nothing more than to be with you. So can't we just do that? Please?"

"I suppose. But what if-" Cat finally heard enough. She didn't want to put up with a pity party. She got up, leaving the brunette to her thoughts and anguish.

"Tori, I can't take it. If you don't know what you want, or what is wrong, then I can't help you. If I'm not good enough, then obviously I don't belong here." Cat got up, walking out the door.

**Ahh, now its getting fun! Tori's own fear, depression, and doubt, along with the voices in her head, blinded her from the truth. And Cat finally snapped, unable to put up with it anymore. So who is more wrong? Tori for questioning everything, or Cat for not fighting? Is this the end, or will our lovers find each other again? And how will Jade react?**

**For anyone searching for a good Jori to read, I highly recommend Azkadellio's "In the End", which turns into "A New Beginning" and the "Continuation". A very fine read, IMHO. **

**P.S.: I do not, nor have I ever, owned any of the rights to the song ****Wanted****, by Hunter Hayes. All credits go to him.**


	9. Alone Part 1

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**A/N: This chapter is coming from Tori's POV, and Chapter 10 will come from Cat's. It will be their own accounts of what happens while they are apart.**

**Chapter 9 - Alone Part 1**

My pearpod is in its holder, a song that feels all to perfect for this situation playing. While listening, tears stream down my face, the realization that I might have lost Cat weighing on me hard.

**Bury all your secrets in my skin**

**Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins**

**The air around me still feels like a cage**

**Love is just a camoflauge, for what resembles rage again**

**So if you love me let me go**

**And run away before I know**

**My heart is just to dark to care**

**I can't destroy what isn't there**

**Deliver me into my fate**

**If I'm alone I cannot hate**

**I don't deserve to have you**

**Oohh, my smile was taken long ago,**

**If I can change I hope I never know**

**I still press your letter to my lips**

**And cherish them in parts of me, that savor every kiss**

**I couldn't face a life without your light**

**But all of that was ripped apart, when you refused to fight**

**So save your breath, I will not care**

**I think I made it very clear**

**You couldn't hate enough to love**

**Is that supposed to be enough?**

**I only wish you weren't my friend**

**Then I could hurt you in the end**

**I never claimed to be a saint**

**My own was punished long ago**

**It took the death of hope to let you go**

**So break yourself against my stones**

**And spit your pity in my soul**

**You never needed any help**

**You sold me out to save yourself**

**And I will listen to your shame**

**You ran away you're all the same**

**Angel's lie to keep control**

**If you still care don't ever let me know**

**IF YOU STILL CARE DON'T EVER LET ME KNOW OH!**

**"She left me. Cat left me. Why? What did I do? What did I say?"**

I am sitting on my couch, stunned at the situation. My arms, which just held the girl I love, are now void of any contact with anything other than the pillow I am clutching. I am rocking back and forth, trying to battle to voices in my head. But there is a myriad of things, and I can't keep them all straight.

_"I told you, she doesn't love you."_

**"Yes she does."**

_"Then why did she leave?"_

**"I don't know? I wish I knew."**

_"You're gonna be alone forever. You wanna know something else?"_

**"What?"**

_"I couldn't break her, but you seem like a much easier target. This should be fun."_

**"But we already beat you. I don't know exactly who you are, but I know you're not a threat to her anymore."**

_"Why are you protecting her? You need to worry about yourself first."_

**"No. She will always come first, no matter what happens."**

_"Even when she isn't here."_

**"That's when I will fight for her the strongest. I don't know exactly what I did, but I know that I can get her back. She loves me."**

_"Does not."_

**"Shut up. How could I let her go? I loved her, still do. I need her."**

_"But she doesn't need you. You never were good enough, you never stood a chance."_

I don't know how much of this I can take. I need my redheaded beauty beside me. I need to smell the cotton candy, to see the flash of red in her hair. I want to squeeze her sides, make her jump. I need to hear her intoxicating laugh, to see her smile. I take a few pills, one for the anxiety and one for the depression.

Let me tell you something. I have loved Cat Valentine for as long as I have known her. There was something about her that just shouted "Hey, look at me. I'm cute, talented, and lovable. Don't you want me?" I never admitted it to myself, but I finally started realizing I was in love with her when she spent that night at my house.

I listened to her mumblings, silently answering them as I went. She thought I was the prettiest, said she loved me. Something about that changed my view of her. She isn't as easy and free as people see her. She has desires and needs just like anyone else. She feels pain, she looks at people on a romantic way. Het innocence was nothing more than a ruse to help her cope with her past. Then I learned about those times, those dark, demonic things that her brother... had...

THAT'S IT! HER BROTHER. HE DID THIS, HE STARTED THIS. BUT, I THOUGHT WE GOT RID OF HIM. Wait a minute? We did get rid of him. I remember the fight with her, our lives hanging in the balance. I watched as he pulled her down, held her and tried to force himself on her. Hearing her cry out, I jumped him, hitting him in as many areas as possible to slow him down. But there was no effect, nothing helped. I thought we were done for, and then I watched as she grabbed a pair of scissors, piercing his heart.

I watched as his body's natural response to the pain sent him into spasms, throwing her into the wall. I saw the blood rushing from her head, and quickly called my father. He would know what to do. After explaining the situation, I quickly grabbed some clothes to make myself decent enough, and threw a towel over her and him. My dad got there quickly, and I felt myself being pried off her lifeless body.

I fell into a state of unease, crying out in my mind. I can remember the words in my head, clear as day. _"How can someone be this evil? How can someone do this, cause this, and not feel remorse from it? Cat, I finally understand. Why you need me, why you want me. Because sharing this, and feeling this, it connects us. And I need you now, too. We are meant to be together, like destiny chose us for this. I promise you, we will be together forever. I am going to marry you." _I uttered the final few words, and looked into the eyes of our parents as I reassured myself of what I said by telling them too.

If they had anything against it, they didn't say anything. My mother wrapped me up, and held me as I watched my girlfrined's body finally respond to the CPR. But as soon as it came, it left again, and I felt my entire being shatter. I had lost her, and everything I had fought for seemed like a distant memory.

I went to the hospital, getting stitched up for a gash in my head suffered in the assault. Afterward, my mother came into my room to give me the greatest news my heart could ever hear. Cat's surgery was successful, and she was going to make it. Against all odds, she had not only beaten her brother and his demented twisted soul, but death itself. She fought for me, to protect me and show me just how important I was to her. I begged my mother to let me see her, but my doctors wouldn't allow it as she was still in critical condition.

Three excruciating days later, I finally walked into her room, tears instantly filling my eyes. I took a small red box my mother had given me, and placed the ring from within on Cat's finger. I uttered the words, Marry Me?, and watched as she smiled in response. I kissed her forehead softly, and laid down beside her. I stayed in that room for five days before she finally came to, and felt my heart flying higher than ever before when I woke from my dream to see the chocolate eyes looking back at me.

Two long weeks after the ordeal, we finally loaded Cat into a car and headed home. The doctors said she would need plenty of bed rest, and I was intent on giving it to her. I also planned on being beside her the entire time, and the possibility of clothes, well, maybe not. We came home, our friends welcoming us as I had planned Cat a get together with everyone. My family was gone to the East to look at colleges with Trina, so we settled in for a nice night of pizza and cards.

I was partnered with her, obviously, and Robbie played as André's partner. Jade and Beck wiped the floor with us for a few rounds, but Cat caught a fire that rivaled her red hair. She tore through so many rounds in a row, everyone called it quits. After a few hours, we could all tell she was exhausted, so our friends said their goodbyes and left us alone. I watched her eat almost everything she had won, trying to tell her to watch out for a stomach ache. She ignored it, playfully laughing.

I started walking to my bedroom, ready to tuck myself in with her. She stopped for a moment, speaking with conviction and her whole heart.

_"Tori, can I tell you something. Back when you kissed me, but said it was a mistake, my rainbow was broken that day. It was grey and dingy, lackluster and destroyed."_

_I tried apologizing for it, but she shook her head and continued._

_"Its okay, Tori. I know you had no real idea what was happening, or what it did to me. I felt like my inner person and spirit were broken. But then you came back, and you tried. You tried for me, and fell for me. You tell me everyday that you love me. And even though its not perfect, my rainbow is brighter than grey now. Because of you. You are my rainbow, Tori. Because it represents my heart, and you are my heart, now. I know you've already done so, and I said yes-" I watched her drop to one knee, pulling a box out. The tears instantly streamed form hy eyes, as I knew what was coming. "-but, will you marry me?"_

_I think I jumped for joy a few minutes before she finally calmed me down and placed the ring on my finger._

She went on to tease me about how she proposed better, and I accepted, telling her she was a better fiancée than me. I told her my punishment was that I had to fuck her silly, and she all to willingly agreed. Unfortunately, the moment she hit the pillow, she was out of it. I didn't mind, though. I just slid in behind her, wrapping her up. I placed a few light kisses on her neck, and fell asleep with her.

Remembering all of those memories, everything we went through, I can't fathom what I did wrong, why she left. She told me that her love for me conquered her fear of him, and that mine for her would do the same. So maybe my questioning her sent the message that I didn't love her? Is that what happened? The tears streaming down my face, I look to the clock. It's been four hours since she left.

But at least now I know what I'm fighting. Her brother, who she killed to save me, is no longer a threat. And if the threat is not there anymore, then she really was telling the truth. She loved me, and I turned her away. I didn't even put up a fight.

**"But I'm not done fighting yet. I will have her. I love her too much. Maybe there really isn't anything to fear. She's not in danger, and I don't need to protect her. She was telling me the truth. She loves me, and wants me. Fuck, I'm such an idiot."** I pick up my phone, sending her a quick text.

_**Cat, please come home**_

_**Why?**_

_**Because I love you**_

_**You sure? It sounded like you were questioning it and me**_

_**I am sure. You told me you used your love for me to beat your brother, and that I should do the same. I'm not afraid of him anymore**_

_**You remember my brother?**_

_**Yes, and what he did. I'm sorry if I hurt you by questioning you. But please, come back. I need you**_

_**On one condition, Tori**_

_**What's that?**_

_**You promise never to doubt me, or my motives again. It hurt me, Victoria, that you would say that.**_

_**Caterina Valentine, I am so sorry for what I did. Please, let me make it up to you.**_

_**I'm with Jade right now, so I can't come just yet. But I'll be there later tonight.**_

_**Okay. Love you.**_

_**Love you too! ;)**_

Thankful that she is willing to at least give me a second chance, I finally relax. The voices, which have no hold on me, are still fighting me. But I'm not in a listening mood. My head is clear, and my attitude couldn't be any happier. I finally relish in the thoughts that maybe, just maybe, Cat and I can defeat this. Together. I want it that way, and I need it that way.

xxxxx

The few hours it takes for Cat to arrive felt like they would never end. I ordered in some Chinese, and ate it silently. The fortune cookie I had had a very inspirational message for me.

_Listen to your heart, for it never betrays you_

I agreed with it, noting that my heart not only pines for Cat, but her's does the same for me. I was wrong to doubt her and make her walk out. But then again, she was also wrong for leaving without a fight. There were plenty of times I could and wanted to walk away. But I never did. So why was it hard for her to? Maybe she was tired of fighting? Was she scared of what she might find?

I never realized how exhausted I was, but I eventually fell into a deep sleep.

_"Hey, Cat! I just wanted you to know, I love you!"_

_"I love you too, Tori."_

_We are walking together, hand in hand, into the award show tonight. Our musical had been nominated for an award, and we were looking forward to all the stars and show that was going to be put on._

_We walked in, cameras flashing from all sides. We smiled, kissing each other's cheeks every so often to give the paparazzi something to think about. So many people in this world are so afraid of "gay and lesbian couples", because they think we will eventually destroy their not so perfect world. They can't grasp that times have changed, and that people should be allowed to make their own decisions._

_We watch the show continuing, and eventually our nomination arrives. We smile large when the camera pines on us as our names are called. We smile even larger when they capture us again. We didn't win, but awards aren't important. Cat and I are together, and I love her. That is the only thing that should be of anyone's concern. Finding that special someone that you can be happy with, that you know you would never trade for anything or anyone else._

_I was just lucky enough to find mine so early in life. We finally depart the show and after party, making our way home and to our bedroom. We throw our dresses off, and I soon have Cat chanting my name._

_"Tori!"_

_"Tori!"_

_"TORI!"_

"Ahh! Blastoff." I couldn't help myself.

"Shutup, 'Walter'." She is making light of the play Jade and I did together for Sikowitz, laughing at me while smiling down on me. I clear my throat, before pulling her down into me.

"Cat, I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me."

"I wouldn't be here if I hadn't." She melted into me, and the rest of the evening went, forgotten.

**Is the fight over? Is Tori cured? Will Cat stick around if something happens again? Now that Tori knows what to fight, can she defeat it, or will it consume her? Only I know! Haha, you'll just have to wait and see. Please, R/E/R!**


	10. Alone Part 2

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 10 - Alone Pt. 2**

**"Cat, you are walking out on Tori. What are you doing? But I can't take it. If she doesn't trust me, or if she can't believe that I love her for her, and not her protection and for healing me, then why should I stay?"** I am about to breakdown. My body is shaking, and I almost fully engulfed in tears. I still can't believe she questioned me. I have a few options of what to do. I could call some of my fellow cast mates, and bum a room for a few nights from them, while I give Tori some time and space.

But I don't like imposing and I don't think it would be all that accomidating. Things would just be too weird, because they know how close nit Tori and I are, and it would create some serious problems at work. I know I'll still have to make out with her on stage, but I can pull it off without trying after the countless roles I had with Robbie and Beck at Hollywood Arts. My heart would literally break more and more, and I'm sure I would fall into a depression at the thoughts of not having her anymore.

**"Huh, maybe I do need her that way. I can't stand the thought of losing her, and though **_**he**_** wouldn't be attacking my mind, I would still be haunted. The pain of her would be too much."** But it still sucks, why can't she just believe me? Maybe I should tell her that. I need her now, not to fight him off, but to keep the pain of losing her away. My mind is racing, and my heart is breaking. I love her, shouldn't that be enough?

I know Jade and Beck are still in town, but they will be leaving soon and there is no way that they would be able to help when they leave to go with André to Boston. I'm kinda out of options. But I still can't sit here. I need something to help me think, something to clear my head. I pick up my phone, calling my best friend.

After a few rings, she finally answers. "Cat, this had better be damn important." I'm pretty sure I know what was going on, but I'm not about to ask or insinuate.

"I just walked out on Tori." My voice is so broken, I can't believe Jade got the entire message. She takes a few moments, before finally giving a response.

"C'mon. I think we need to talk. Meet me outside my hotel in about thirty." I know where she is, and its only a ten minute walk. I guess she and Beck need their privacy for a little longer. I tell her sure, and place my hand on the pepper spray in my purse. No way am I walking these streets without some sort of protection.

As I walk, I think about Jade and where I would be without her. She would have never convinced me to give Tori a chance. And had I not, I wouldn't be standing in the streets of New York with a broken heart and a fleeting mind. I wouldn't have anyone to turn to right now, and would probably be headed somewhere that I shouldn't be. And that wouldn't be a good thing.

Without Jade, I actually probably would have never gotten into Hollywood Arts. She convinced me to start there so my brother couldn't torture me as much as he had. I would be forced to stay later in school so that I could focus on some of the finer details of my talents, and hone them so I could use them correctly. I spent an extra three hours daily at that school, and would get home with only about thirty minutes of torture to endure.

So in a manner of speaking, without her, I might not even be here today. I might have gone totally insane because of him, and would have probably killed myself. And if not, then I would have never met Tori, who was the only person from either HA or my old school that didn't know my situation. I wouldn't have had her to heal my mind.

**"God, stop thinking about her, Cat. Your brother is dead, and the voices are gone. Love is a strange thing. It works the way it wants, and sometimes, it just doesn't work out the way you want. Tori may not be that girl for you."** But I know that's not true. Looking at my left hand tells me that much. Though the pain is real, and the uncertainty is killing me, I know that I probably put Tori through just as much or even more because of my brother. I can only imagine what she thought and went through when thinking of him. Maybe that's what it is so hard? She doesn't know how to fight.

Of course, she also doesn't know what to fight. She repressed everything, and until a few weeks ago, she was perfectly content. This is why I didn't want her seeing that doctor. She pulled out memories that should have stayed hidden, and now Tori was fighting, and losing. I can't leave her, I can't have her try and defend herself against it, all alone. But I also can't go back without a course of action.

Tori is lying to herself, telling her that I can't love her without her having something to protect me from. **"Is she creating something to protect me from, so that she can keep me?"** Those lies remind me of what she did to me, because I finally believed the lies I told myself about my family and friends when my brother was torturing me. Tori's lies bring a song to mind, and I can't help but pull out my phone and play it for her. I know she can't hear it, but I still dedicate it to her.

_**Despite the lies that you're making your love is mine for the taking **_

_**My love is just waiting yo turn your tears to roses**_

_**Despite the lies that you're making, your love is mine for the taking**_

_**My love is just waiting to turn your tears to roses**_

_**I will be the one that's gonna hold you**_

_**I will be the one that you run to**_

_**My love is a burning, consuming fire**_

_**No, you'll never be alone**_

_**When darkness comes**_

_**I'll light the night with stars**_

_**Hear my whispers in the dark**_

_**No, you'll never be alone**_

_**When darkness comes**_

_**You know I'm never far**_

_**Hear my whispers in the dark**_

_**Whispers in the dark**_

_**You feel so lonely and ragged, you lay here broken and naked**_

_**My love is just waiting, to clothe you in crimson roses**_

_**I will be the one that's gonna find you, I will be the one that's gonna guide you**_

_**My love is a burning, consuming fire**_

_**No, you'll never be alone when darkness comes I'll light the night with stars**_

_**Hear my whispers in the dark**_

_**No, you'll never be alone, when darkness comes you know I'm never far**_

_**Hear the whispers in the dark**_

_**No, you'll never be alone when darkness comes, I'll light the night with stars**_

_**Hear my whispers in the dark**_

_**No, you'll never be alone when darkness comes, you know I'm never far**_

_**Hear the whispers in the dark**_

_**Whispers in the dark**_

_**Whispers in the dark**_

_**Whispers in the dark**_

By the time the song settles down, I am finally crying it out, my pain and heartbreak getting the better of me. The words ringing true in my heart, I curse myself for not fighting for her, and protecting her when she needs it. I finally start walking toward Jade's hotel again, knowing that I will be getting back with Tori, but that I need to clear my head so this doesn't happen again.

As I walk into the lobby, I see Jade walking up to me, her head shaking. I know she is displeased, I just don't know what with. I can't contain my tears, and she hugs me to try and calm me down. I melt to the contact, again thanking my lucky stars for her.

"Coffee?" I know she wants some, and I need someone to talk to.

"Sure, where is somewhere good to go?"

"Central Perk, not far from here." We start to walk, silent. She knows I will eventually come out and say it, but that I need to work myself into it. We finally arrive, and say hello to Gunther as we walk in. Placing our orders and grabbing a table, we sit for a moment before I finally tell her everything.

"I walked out. I couldn't take it."

"Why?"

"She questioned me. Wether I loved her, **why** I loved her, things like that."

"And?"

"And?" I questioned her, not understanding what she was asking about.

"And why did you leave. I know you were upset. I would probably be too if Beck ever pulled a stunt like that. But you love Tori enough, right?" I nod, and know exactly what she is about to say. So I say it for her.

"So I should stay because of that, because she protected me when she didn't know what to fight, and I owe her the same?" I said it more as a statement than a question, but insinuated it that way to force her opinion out of her.

"Yes, Cat. It can't be easy, going through what she is doing. At least you knew what to fight. You might now have done it the best way at times, but you still fought. You know its not easy for her, so you need to go back there, and fight for her love. She deserves that, and you know it."

As much as it hurts me to admit it, Jade's right. I feel like shit for not fighting for her when I did everything to get her. She was and still is my world. I can't stand myself right now, and feel like crawling into a hole and dying. Eventually, I get a text from Tori.

_**Cat, please come home**_. Fear and pain overriding me, I can't help question her.

_**Why?**_

_**Because I love you. **_Still unsure, I start showing the texts to Jade. She is nodding, prompting me to find out if I can go back, if I can fight. I want to so bad, I need her. But I am done fighting. I need closure, and I need it to go all away.

_**You sure? It sounded like you were questioning it and me**_

_**I am sure. You told me you used your love for me to beat your brother, and that I should do the same. I'm not afraid of him anymore. **_Almost as if a silent prayer was answered, I ask just to make sure.

_**You remember my brother?**_

_**Yes, and what he did. I'm sorry if I hurt you by questioning you. But please, come back. I need you. **_Jade is watching me, the emotions written on my face. Conflicted, I send an answer that I know neither of us would expect. An ultimatum.

_**On one condition, Tori**_

_**What's that?**_

_**You promise never to doubt me, or my motives again. It hurt me, Victoria, that you would say that.**_

_**Caterina Valentine, I am so sorry for what I did. Please, let me make it up to you.**_

_**I'm with Jade right now, so I can't come just yet. But I'll be there later tonight.**_ Showing the texts to Jade, she smiles at me. If Tori really can get past this, if she really is past thin, then there isn't anything that should stand in our way of being happy.

_**Okay. Love you.**_

_**Love you too! ;)**_ My heart is swelling with joy, and I know we'll be okay. The road of love isn't perfect, there are bumps along the way. Knowing that this only one, and there will be more, some of which are worse further down the road, I vow to myself to never put myself through this again. I shouldn't question Tori, even if she questions me. I promised her and myself I would stick with her. I'm such an idiot for giving up so easily.

I spend a few hours with Jade, making her promise to literally slap some sense into me if I do anything this stupid ever again. She agrees, laughing and showing the joy at the idea. We spent some time looking at the furniture that Tori had picked out, noting that some of it wouldn't work, or that some of it was perfect. Jade made sure to state that her "friend's" taste was so horrible she might die from the pain. I finally leave her, returning home to my wonderful fiancée.

xxxxx

I watch Tori, noting her beauty and how adorable she looks as she mumbles in her sleep.

_"Hey, Cat! I just wanted you to know, I love you!" _"I love you, too, Tori!" She is mumbling something about an award that she wish she had won. "It's okay, baby. You still have me, if you want me." I cry as I say that. Earlier today, I was doubting her. Now, I am doubting myself, and hating myself for not being for her what she was for me.

I can't take it anymore, I need to kiss her and talk to her. I shake her shoulder, trying to wake her.

"Tori?"

"Tori!"

"TORI!"

"Ahh! Blastoff." I see the smirk on her face, as if she needed to do it.

"Shutup, 'Walter'." Making fun of her, I watch as she feigns so pain, but then see it really show through. There are tears in her eyes, and I can't help soak in every word.

"Cat, I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me."

"I wouldn't be here if I hadn't." She wrapped me up, and I couldn't help but succomb to her touch. I didn't ever want to lose another moment with her, and I knew I wouldn't.

**I know that I turned Cat around quickly, but the love they both have for each other is too powerful to ignore. Cat's decision and promise to herself, especially after realizing she didn't give Tori a fair shake, made it easy for her to come back. Now that she is, are the girls good to go? What will happen next? Please, R/E/R!**


	11. Home Is Where The Heart Is

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 11 - Home Is Where The Heart Is**

**A/N: Last chapter did not have a dream, because Cat was too distraught to sleep. It is also the last POV for this story, I think. Nothing too much in this chapter, just a lot of Cori smexies! Also added a new element to smexies time, something I have never done before. I hope you like it. Eventual plot near the end, but expect a lot of smut before that.**

Tori and Cat were holding each other, their worries put aside. Tori was scared of losing Cat, because she didn't want to feel alone in the world. Cat was scared of losing the love in her heart, because she had so easily left. Neither of them voiced their concerns, but instead took the time to soak in every last touch and embrace they could. Eventually, their arms unwrapped and their lips found each other.

Emotion flowing, the girls let their minds be free. Tori grabbed Cat's hand, placing in behind the small of her back. She placed her own arms around the redhead's neck, pulling them together and deepening the kiss. Cat melted, following the lead. Almost forgetting the necessity of oxygen to the human body, the girls were eventually forced to come up for air.

Upon doing so, both girls saw the regret and concern in their lovers' eyes. Tori smiled, making Cat blush. Cat's spine tingled also, the power of a simple smile elating the smaller girl. Two sets of chocolate eyes said everything that brains couldn't put into actual words, and both girls sighed. Tori did eventually speak up, making sure to slowly get her point out. She didn't want it to sound rushed or rehersed for Cat's sake.

"Cat, please, forgive me. I'm so sorry. I was trying to fight something that I didn't know. I didn't understand, so I blocked everything, including you, to try and find out and protect you from it. But you knew the entire time, didn't you?"

"Yes, Tori. I told you, you have nothing to fear. My brother fought us, but together, we conquered him and his twisted little game. You protected me when you didn't need to, saw something in me that no one else did."

"I remember that you said your love for me conquered it. And knowing that I love you, I am sure I can beat it, just the same. With a little help, or course." Tori pulled Cat in, who understood Tori's simple request.

"I'll always be here to help, all you have to do is trust me." Trusting Cat was the easy part. Trusting herself not to turn Cat away was a whole different ball game. Tori had already gotten her to leave once, and knew it could happen again if things got too out of hand. **"I'm not going to let that happen. Even if it kills me." **Tori's resolve added a new question, or at least, one that she wasn't actually prepared for the answer to, but still needed to ask.

"Cat, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Tori."

"Why did you leave me earlier?" Tori was curious, so that she would know not to do whatever again and set her off.

"Tori, please. Don't ask that." Cat was afraid of saying anything that Tori could use or hold against her. Tori's battle seemed to be going well, but things always had a way of messing up at the most inoppotune times. She didn't want to be the one to cause her latina any more undue duress.

"Cat, I need an answer, please." Cat shied away, sighing heavily. She knew Tori wouldn't drop it, and that not telling her could be just as bad, if not worse, than what she had to say. With regret in her voice, she finally responded.

"You questioned me and wether I loved you or not. You thought I was using you to fight off something. Which in turn, I guess you figured out, was my brother. It's his voice you keep hearing. You remember why I fell for you, right?"

"Because I didn't know your past, the broken girl you were. I just saw you. I didn't find out about _him_ until we were already together. Well, not together, but well, ya know." Tori almost threw up at the word _him_, because she remembered clear as day what had happened and the disgust in her heart from what he did to Cat.

"Exactly. But once you found out, that didn't matter, did it? You fought him, just like I did. We beat him, together, and we can do the same with whatever else comes our way." Cat wrapped Tori up again, placing a light kiss on her lips.

"So, your point?" Tori knew where Cat was going, but just wanted the reassurance.

"Is that now that the threat is gone, I'm still here. We are engaged, and happy. That is more than enough for me. I was upset because I thought it wasn't enough for you."

"Cat, when you left, my heart broke. It broke because you are the representation of my heart, a physcial perception of what I feel and see. I betrayed it, and you. I'm sorry for doubting you. But I promise you, it won't happen again. I love you too much to let you leave again."

Cat smiled, a light tear in her eye. "I love you too, and I'm sorry for walking out. It wasn't right of me to not put up a fight when you fought so hard for me. If you can forgive me for walking out, I will forgive you and we can put this behind us."

Tori smiled, again sending shivers down the redhead's spine. Tori in turn had her chest played with, as Cat lightly ran her nails across Tori's cleavage. Cat leaned in for a kiss, and just as things got too deep, Cat pulled away. She just remembered something that she knew would need to be done. Tori, pouting and looking increduously at her, watched her pull out her phone, texting Jade.

_**I think Tori and I will be alright.**_

_**Really?**_

_**Yes. Thank you for talking some sense into me**_

_**Is she okay, with everything?**_

_**She knows my brother's voice is the one she heard, but tbat she doesn't have to protect me**_

_**That's good. I hope that everything goes better.**_

_**It's behind us, and we're happy.**_

_**Okay, love you. Tell Tori I love her too, sorta, I guess. I think she's my friend, maybe**_

Showing the last text to Tori, which got a simple laugh from the latina, Cat returned to her recent makeout session. She re-ran her hand across Tori's cheast, asking for entrance. Tori shed her top and bra, grabbing Cat's hand and placing in on her breast. Cat started playing like a child who had never had something so fun to do. She squeezed a bit too hard, making Tori gasp out.

"Hey, watch it. Not too hard baby."

"Or what?" Cat instantly knew it was a mistake, because Tori pulled her jeans down, showing the red panties. She raised her hand, landing with a loud twack against the bouncy redhead's ass. Crying out a little, and quivering her lip, Tori laughed at Cat's feigned sorrow. Cat did comply, though, releasing the vice-grip on her breast.

A free hand moved down, pulling the button on Tori's jeans, showing a seductive black lace pair of panties. Cat looked down, nothing more than pure lust in her eyes. Tori had a secret weapon that Cat couldn't withstand. She loved when Tori played dirty, and Tori knew it. Tori motioned to the bedroom, and Cat she her pants and top, nothing more than some silky red fabric covering her sensitve areas. The moment she was in bed, Tori walked in, completely nude.

Tori walked over to the closet, pulling out their "special box". A few pairs of handcuffs later, and Cat was tethered to the bed. Cat closed her eyes, expecting Tori to find the strap on and start its forceful pressure inside of her. However, after peeking, she saw Tori sitting on a chair. Cat didn't understand.

"Tori, what are you doing?"

"What's wrong baby? Don't like the show?" Tori turned her attention back to herself, placing one hand across her already wet center.

"Uhh, yeah." Cat's voice broke, the image of Tori only a few feet away too much for her.

"Good, now hush. I need to concentrate." Tori moaned against herself, massaging herself with a swift pace and strong vigor. She eventually grew bored of it, and placed a finger inside herself, crying out. "SHIT!" Cat, who was being tormented in every sense of the word, was doing everything possible to free herself. There was no use, she was captive, and knew it.

Tori continued, adding more digits and pressure, her body moving in ways that only Cat ever saw. Tori finally got back up, finding a large pink toy from the box, inserting it inside her soaked pussy. The squishing sounds only made Cat go more insane, before finally Tori cried out harder and louder than before, and collapsed. Exhausted, she turned to Cat. "Oh, shit. I hope... that was... as much fun... for you as... it was for me!" After finally gaining some strength, Tori eventually walked over to Cat, placing one light kiss on her lips. "Now, you stay right there, I'll be back in a moment."

Cat watched as the clock rolled fourteen minutes away, and Tori came back into the room. She was fully clothed. Cat looked at her, a few simple words quivering Tori to the core. "I'll get you for this. Worse than you just did me." Tori knew she meant it, and was happy to have started another war with Cat. Their "I love you more" war had played its course in her mind, because of everything that had recently happened. It didn't seem appropriate to say something along those lines, because they had both hurt each other and both had come back. They were equal in wrong, and even in love.

Cat finally felt the freedom of the released handcuffs, and though Tori knew how to fight her off without trying, Cat pinned her down. The handcuffs on her own wrists, Tori watched as Cat shed off the lingere and opened Tori's blouse again. She took the bra off again, which thankfully unlatched from the front. She started sucking Tori's tits again, and Tori felt the elation. Cat was gone in a moment, looking to the latina.

"Hey, you already had your own fun. Now it's my turn." Cat took Tori's thigh, moving it so she could grind her clit against it. She didn't kiss Tori, just kept her pace and letting herself go, just as she had watched Tori do. Her own breasts bouncing, which she knew Tori couldn't ever grow tired of watching, she decided to ask the same rhetorical question she had been asked.

"Enjoying the show?" She watched as Tori nodded, and licked her lips. Cat's pace quickened enough that Tori could feel a slight chaff building, but she knew she deserved it. She had tortured her fiancée, and this was her reward. Not that she minded. She eventually felt the wet heat against her, and Cat looked down on her.

"I hope that was fun for you. It sure was for me." Cat was playing dirty, looking at her. Tori expected her to walk out, get clothes back on, and then return. But she reached back into their box, pulling the still slick pink toy out and inserting it into Tori's core under her skirt. "Huh, giong commando, are we?" Tori nodded, and let the elation flow.

She was so lost, she didn't even feel the release of the handcuffs from her wrists. She didn't realize they had fallen asleep. They both woke to the sound of a phone in the other room, both holding each other and making out before answering the text. Cat finally retrieved the device, reading the text aloud to Tori.

_**Cat, I need to talk with you and Tori. It's important - Micheal**_

_**Where?**_

_**Dinner tomorrow night. Wear cocktail dresses, we're headed to Angelo's**_

_**Okay, what time?**_

_**7 PM**_

_**We'll be there.**_

xxxxx

Cat was stunning as usual. The pearl colored dress flowed from her body perfectly, accenuating every curve. She was wearing a nice set of pearls along with it, letting them stop just above her bust. She watched as Tori, who was still sore from last night, put on her own dress.

Tori was equally beautiful, a simple turquoise dress trailing her by a foot on the floor behind her. She had a set of aquamarines around her neck, and was leaving more to the imagination than Cat, but both were classy and elegant to say the least. Micheal was sending a limo for them, and they were on route to dinner in no time. Upon entering the restaurant, they gave their names for their reservation. The maitré d showed them to their table, and pulled their chair for them as their boss and friend greeted them.

"Thank you for coming. How are you doing, Tori?" Micheal's concern showed through, and both girls were thankful they had someone to help them and look after them, in a sense.

"I'm fine. Not perfect, but with everything that has happened, I'm getting better. Plus, Cat's helping. It will take some time, but I'll be back to good in no time." Their waiter came, offering a wine list to the older gentleman. The ladies ordered hot tea, while Micheal got a nice red wine for himself.

"That's actually why I wanted to speak with you." Tori looked to Cat, who was just as confused as she was."

"About?"

"Well, Tori. I know that you're going through a rough patch. And I know Cat is excellent for support, but I don't think she can do it alone."

"I do go to therapy, twice a week. I actually have an appointment tomorrow."

"That's not exactly what I mean. Your family and most of your friends live in L.A., right?"

"Yessir. Why?"

"I'm not a therapist. But I think you might benefit more from having a complete network of support, not just one person." Micheal was doing his best to show Tori what he was trying to say. "Look, I know I will be losing two of the best talents on Broadway, but I think you need to go back home."

"Are you firing me? Us?" Micheal shook his head.

"No, no. I just want you to consider it. You may be worse off than you think." Those words shook Cat and Tori. They rememered their short reprieve from each other the day before, and knew that he may be right.

Tori sighed. She knew she had Cat. But what about the days and times that Cat wouldn't be there with her, for her? She knew she needed someone else. Even though she didn't want to admit it, or impose on her friends, she understood where the man was coming from. "Maybe. I'll think about it, promise." Cat looked at her approvingly, showing her support for whatever decision was made.

"Good. I'll write glowing reccomendations for both of you. You really are two of my best talents, and I want only the best for both of you." Tori soaked in the sincerity of the words, and smiled to Cat.

xxxxx

"So Cat, what do you think?" Dinner had gone well. After Micheal's inital revalation was said, they had chatted about the performances and upcoming interests. Micheal wanted them to stay, their talent was too good. But Tori was also on the verge of something dangerous, and he wanted her safe, too. So he would accept whatever happened.

"I called my mother. She said we could room with her until we find a place." Well, that shows Cat's thinking. She understood that support was neccesary for healthy recovery, and Tori's friends and family would be best for it when she wasn't able to do so herself.

"Well, if we do, what will you do?"

"Not sure, maybe coax Jade into letting me catch a minor role in one of her writings. I'm sure that André or Beck could find something for you. Of course, if you wanted to throw all of that out the window, then that's okay too. We can stay here, we can become waitresses, we could do whatever you want. As long as you're happy, I'll do whatever." She smiled saying that, showing the truth in her words.

"Well, André and I did make a good team. And kissing Beck at school my first day, and knowing he has the hots for me, he'd be easily manipulatable. Of course, I might sneak some free kissing on the side." Tori winked to Cat, who laughed it off.

"Only if I can make out with Jade some more."

"More!?"

"We experiemented when we were younger. Like thirteen. Way before you were ever there. Don't worry, baby."

"Okay, baby. I love you." The girls shed their cocktail dresses, slipping into bed for a nice evening. The T.V. was turned on low, and the girls watched "Celebrities Under Water" for a while before falling asleep. Tori's mind decided to make a decision while she was asleep.

_Tori was sitting with Cat and all their friends in the all too familiar living room. Her mother walking by, saying hello to everyone, Tori finally felt relaxed again, surrounded by such love and support. André asked Tori's mother for some cocoa, and the older woman slapped the back of his head, stating she wasn't a waitress at a restaurant. everyone laughed it off, and enjoyed their evening together._

**So then, what will happen when Tori and Cat return to L.A.? Is the fight truly over, now that she confronted it and broke through? I wanted the title of this chapter to show two things. First, Cat and Tori's hearts belong to each other, and that love should be able to conquer all. Second, Tori's mind longs for the comfort and support of her friends and loved ones.**

**P.S.: Just read a Cade last night that shattered my heart and challenged every emotion I have. It is easily one of my favorite Fanfics ever. Only ****What's In A Secret ****and ****The Art Of Falling In Love ****are higher. You want perfection exemplified, read Rain Angel by Darker Aria. Seriously, it changed me.**


	12. Can't Catch A Break

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 12 - Can't Catch a Break**

**A/N: This chapter takes place six months after the previous. Also, all Cori adorees, like myself, read this at your own descrestion. I had the idea for this chapter a few days ago, and re-wrote my the remainder of my outline for this. I hope you enjoy.**

"OH, I can't wait for tonight." Tori was almost literally bounding off the walls. She was completely uncontainable. André was watching her, laughing but also beaming with pride for her. Since returning to L.A., she had been working closely with him on a combined venture. Micheal, her and Cat's previous Broadway employer, had connected her to André's producer, and she was instantly hired after singing for her new boss, Bryan.

"I wonder why?" André was teasing. "You've only been with Cat for a year." André hugged her again, trying to protect all the expensive equipment in the studio. Tori was doing her best to do her job, which would keep her occupied until 5 PM. She had planned a special evening with Cat, as she was taking her back to the restaurant where they'd had their first date. Then a movie. And a little extra curricular activities afterward.

"Oh, man. And what a year it's been." After learning everything about Cat's brother, and promising to protect her from him, she eventually realized that she was in love with one of her best friends. Then after their first date, she knew it instantly that they would be insepearable. Then her father had agreed to allow Cat to stay with them when her brother escaped from jail, and the two went to her house only to be attacked by the psycho. The girls fought to protect each other, and Cat killed him, ending the threat.

But Tori's mind wouldn't let it go. She had eventually dragged up the dead from the grave, allowing it to haunt her again. She fought against him, but did it in the most dangerous of ways. When she finally awoke in the hospital, and went through some therapy, she felt she was good enough to get back on stage. After doing so, he got to her again. Cat had assured her, even when Tori didn't know what she was facing, that she was safe and that her redhead would always be there for her. After Cat walked out on her, because Tori's self doubt and pity dragged her down, Tori re-lived what she thought was their very short time together.

When she remembered Cat's brother, she finally realized that she was safe, and that Cat wasn't there to be protected. The girls not only loved each other, and had depended on each other for a time, but they had grown so close together that life together seemed like a formality. They were engaged, and were planning to start the progress on the wedding. The had watched Beck and Jade's special day. It only strengthened their own resolve to be with each other forever.

Tori laughed when Beck, who had told Jade to play it slow so the media would build up the relationship, thus ensuring their place as one of Hollywood's power couples, asked Jade to get married a lot sooner than expected. He felt the motivation for Tori would help the recovery. And Jade, who had known she wanted to marry him after singing "You Don't Know Me:, had no problem expediating it.

Beck and Jade had helped Cat out, allowing her to do makeup for one of Jade's plays, and had a minor role in Beck's current movie. Whenever Cat needed to go to the Oliver's for work, Tori would stay for a bit to just chat and enjoy herself. The friends were together almost always, which was perfect for Tori's mind and her road to recovery.

"So what's the plan for tonight?"

"I am recreating our first date. Same restaurant, movies, and a little fun when we get home." She watched as André's eyes lit up to the idea of "fun", and she laughed it off. "Do I need to call Jade and have her set you straight?" Tori mocked him, playfully slapping his shoulder and walking away.

"Naw, I'm cool. If you wanna take some pictures, though." She heard André laugh, and she rolled her eyes. **"Why is it that all guys wanna see two girls, who have no interest in them, get it on? Oh, right, we're hot!"** Not normally being a vain girl, Tori laughed at her inner thoughts.

"I'll ask, but don't get your hopes up." Tori walked away, her mind planning everything for the evening.

xxxxx

"Jade, I can't wait!" Cat, whose continually energetic attitude saw her even more hyper than usual, was getting a little on her best friend's nerves. Jade was contemplating wether letting Cat wait for their date at Casa de Oliver was a bad idea or not. If left alone for too long, Cat might damage something irreversably with the way she was going. But Jade was also in the middle of a new script, and her bosses wanted the outline completed in another week's time.

"I know Cat. Who woulda thought you and Vega."

"Jade, will you please call her by her name."

"I am." Jade rolled her eyes. She knew what Cat really meant, but three years of a habit are hard to break through.

"Jadey." Cat was waving her finger in the goth's face, and it was dangerously close to being attacked with scissors. Cat watched the girl closely, making sure to keep a wary eye in case of an offensive.

Beck walked in, his wife staring at him intently. "Honey, please take her somewhere else. I need to work."

"And what exactly am I supposed to do to entertain her?"

"I don't know. Think of something." Beck knew better than to let his eyes give him away. But Jade knew, just as well. "Not that, Beckett Oliver." They both laughed it off, and Cat shyed away. The redhead would be lying if she said she never had a crush on the guy she considered an older brother. But she would never act on it, and neither would he.

"C'mon, Cat. Let's go get a Freezy Queen. Jadelyn wants to be left alone." He laughed when Jade cringed at the sound of her own full name, and kissed her to ask forgivness. "Besides, I need to talk to you about something." He had big news for her, something that would put Cat and Tori in a great place.

Grabbing the keys to the car that hadn't even been parked fifteen minutes, they walked out into the car. Driving slowly to get some frozen yogurt, Beck looked at his friend.

"Cat, I got you a role in my new film."

"Yeah, I know. Jade told me."

"But she didn't tell you how big a role it would be. You'll be on set a lot. Hours on end, away from Tori. But the money is big. If you want it, you'd make half a million dollars."

"REALLY?" Cat and Tori had been stressing about their wedding, the cost of it. They knew they could go to the courthouse and have it done. But both girls wanted their day.

"Yes, Cat. I know how important each of you are for yourselves, and that you want your wedding to come, and I wanted to do what I can to help that happen." Though neither girl ever talked about it, everyone knew they had postponed it because of the financials. So Beck did what he could. He smiled at her, and she lightly pecked his cheek.

"Thanks, Beck."

"Hey, no problem." He smiled at his long time friend, thankful that he could do something to help her and Tori out. He was wary of just how fragile Tori was, even though the recovery was going well.

In the six months since returning to L.A., Tori hadn't had a panic attack of any kind, and the voices were nothing more than a fading whisper. The seldomness of it all made it seem like a faint dream or inperceptible fantasy. Cat was beyond everything, and knew that Tori was almost cured. The revaltion that both she and Cat were clear and free of all danger, and that Cat wanted her for her, and nothing more, left her free and loose all the time.

Which, in turn, left Tori more than willing to please herself and Cat on a regular basis. Obviously, there were times when one or the other would be too tired from work. Tori was usually in the studio with André for ten to twelve hours a day, and Cat could be on set or working with Jade just as long, if not more. They had actually had a stretch of not seeing each other for five days, and both had too much pent up hormonal tendancies to know better. Cat jumped Jade, sending both girls reeling and Jade gasping for breath. Not a word was spoken to Beck, and Tori forgave her rather quickly.

Why, you may ask? Because Tori had jumped André just the same. If André's girlfriend hadn't jumped in when she did, Tori might as well be pregnant, as André was repeatedly telling Tori no and that he had no way to protect himself or her. She tried to stop, her mind screaming at its highest voice. But her body was too craved for the attention, and she went for it. When Cat found out, and confessed kissing Jade, both girls were obviously upset, but used a "no harm, no foul" rule combined with "an eye for an eye". They actually broke their bed their first night back together.

Tori's family was happy to see her home, safe and sound. Her happiness was important too, and the love and support around her made for a perfect healing environment. She had trouble letting go of her pride, and accepting help from the people around her. She didn't feel like "crutching", as she called it. But it eventually went away, and things finally settled down for her.

The money Beck was promising Cat prompted her to start thinking about the Vega/Valentine wedding, and Beck's front seat almost came unhinged from the bouncy redhead. The Canadian's eyes couldn't help watching the bossoms in the seat next to him, and he earned a nice soft slap for his curiousity.

"Hey, I couldn't help it."

"Yeah, but you're Jade's husband. And like a brother to me." She smiled again, knowing that even as a lesbian, she still had the power to attract the attention of a married man.

"I know. I'm sorry. You are beautiful, ya know." Beck would never admit it out loud, but both of his female best friends, with the acceptance of Jade that is, were objects of his mind's thoughts at times. Of course, any guy with half a brain and a heartbeat would swoon over the three girls. All of them were beautiful in their own unique and intriguing ways, and each other them presented things that would attract any guy to them. One loyal and intelligent, one dangerous and cunning, one loving and unpredictable. If only you could combine all three, along with the good looks, into one girl, you'd have an instant winner.

"Thank you, Beck. But seriously, take me home before I tell Jade." She saw him gulp, knowing that if anyone could bring him to Earth rather quickly, it was his wife. Cat smiled, thinking about the big news for Tori and for their future together.

xxxxx

4:30! Tori was watching the clock. Even though André and Bryan had said the session for the day was ending, and that she was free to go, Tori was never one for ditching early. Even if it did mean an earlier start to her wonderfully planned evening. She followed the guys into the conference room, where decisions on the upcoming album and touring dates were being made.

"André, Tori, this needs to be bigger than anything we've ever done."

"Of course. It will be." Tori, as optimistic as ever, was doing her best to reassure herself and André that everything would go smoothly. They only had two more months to finish the album, and had eight more songs to go. Factor in a week to two week process per song, and they were pushing their luck. Then of course, the tour that would follow. It was almost the end of March, and they were set to be opening for Big Time Rush in New York in May. Their new song needed to be ready by then, which also meant the record.

"I agree. But Tori, tone it down a bit girl. There's still a lot of work to do." André wanted to bring her down to Earth, and give her the reality of the situation. Tori had never gone through the entire creative process, had never actually written a song. She only sang what she was told, and playfully picked a guitar from time to time. She had no real idea just how pressed for time they really were. "We have no margin for error. You might have to tell Cat you're gonna be working over time. Twelve to sixteen hour days."

"As long as I can go home to her every night, I'd do whatever it takes. I want to make her happy, and give her everything she's ever wanted." Tori beamed at the idea their future together. Since she hadn't released an actual solo or collaborative album yet, and the only thing she was known for was the Platinum Music Awards, she was a little strapped on cash. She knew this was her opportunity to finally get the ball rolling.

"Good. Now then, André, Tori, I need you both here, bright and early. Six AM, understood?"

"Yes." "Of course." André and Tori were finally out the door, about five minutes prior to five. Tori hugged her long time friend, making sure there wasn't anything inappropriate. He was still slightly apprehensive around her, knowing that he had a crush on her and he might not be able to control himself a second time. Tori smiled to his girlfriend, who had forgiven her when she had taken them to dinner, along with Cat, and promised that there was nothing between the long time friends.

Tori finally got in her car, which she was able to drive after FINALLY passing her driving test at the age of nineteen. She chuckled to herself, noting that she had to be the lamest person ever for failing the most important test in her young life, other than love, so many times. Love had been so easy. So why had it been a near impossibility? She finally pulled into her driveway, preparing for her evening.

xxxxx

Tori did everything possible to recreate their first date as closelt as possible. Even the wardrobe. She had the same pair of acid washed skinny jeans, complimented by a different, but still closely resembled, pair of brown boots covering her lower torso. She had a tight fitting red shirt, and a darker throw jacket on her top. Her eye shadow was slightly red, cheeks slightly pink. She placed some darker red lipstick on, before spraying a light vanilla mint mixture of perfume.

"Perfect, Victoria! You look stunning!" Her mother, remembering the outfit all too well, walked into her bedroom. Placing a kiss on her cheek, her mother looked at her again. "I am so proud of you, and everything you've accomplished. And I am so happy that you found someone to love and to make happy. I love Cat like my own daughter, and look forward to the day when I can say she is!"

"Thanks, mom." Tori returned to what she had been doing, placing the final finishing touches on her makeup. After one last hug from her mother, she finally walked out the door, getting in the car and riding to Jade and Beck's to pick up Cat.

xxxxx

_"Caterina Valentine, I love you more today and everyday than I ever knew possible."_

_"I love you too, Tori!"_

_"Cat!"_

_"CAT!"_

"CAT, you're gonna be late. You've got an important date tonight, remember?" Jade was walking in, her best friend dead to the world.

_"Tori, I'm pregnant!" _**"Eww, gross. Cat. I don't wanna hear about you and Vega having a kid."**

Downstairs, Beck let Tori in the house. He promised that Cat would be ready soon, but had no idea the redhead was still snoozing away. He left Tori alone, and her boredom finally got the better of her. After an hour of waiting, which made them late for their dinner reservations, she walked through the house. Overhearing a conversation between Cat and Jade, her heart broke.

"You're right, Jade. Tori is a waste of my time. What was I thinking."

**Perfect place to stop. I know it's not, kill me later. Did Cat actually mean what she said? That's all I got, people. Thanks for reading and reviewing, and please, continue to do so. Peace out, yo!**

**P.S: I slapped myself for that stupid comment.**


	13. Everyone Makes Mistakes

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 13 - Everyone Makes Mistakes**

**A/N: The beginning of this chapter will start from when Jade woke up Cat at the end of the previous chapter.**

_"Caterina Valentine, I love you more today and everyday than I ever knew possible."_

_"I love you too, Tori!"_

_"Cat!"_

_"CAT!"_

"CAT, you're gonna be late. You've got an important date tonight, remember?" Jade was walking in, her best friend dead to the world.

_"Tori, I'm pregnant!" _**"Eww, gross. Cat. I don't wanna hear about you and Vega having a kid." **Jade shook her best friend, watching as the redhead rolled over, grasping her stuffed giraffe for dear life. Jade chuckled, before pulling the covers off. She instantly threw them back on, noting the redhead in her bra and panties. "SERIOUSLY CAT?!"

"What?" Cat finally came too, Jade's powerful voice shaking her awake. Thinking she was in trouble, she looked up. She didn't know Jade had seen her, and was wondering what Jade was blushing about.

"WHY ARE-!" Jade calmed down, not wanting to ruin the redhead's evening before it even got began. She sighed. "What are you doing sleeping in my guest bed with nothing on except your unmentionables?" Cat pulled the covers tight against her, trying to shy away and keep herself sheltered from the visibly shaken goth.

"Sorry, Jade. I can't sleep with clothes on. At least I kept something on." She noticed the goth walking away, giving her privacy to do as she needed. "Hey, don't act like you didn't like the view." Jade laughed, before smiling.

"Maybe. You do have a hot bod. Just not as hot as me!" Jade's self centered attitude showed, and Cat watched the door closed. She climbed out of bed, grabbing her clothes and making her way to the shower. Tori was going to be there to pick her up in a few minutes, so she needed to work fast. Unfortunately, she still needed a shower and had to get dressed. At least she had her outfit already picked out.

Knowing that Tori had something special planned, but nothing too fancy, Cat tried to make her fiancée jealous. She had a pink skirt with a red top, and a white throw for her shoulders. She always had something over them, because she was still ashamed of the scars. She knew Tori didn't mind, but she didn't want anyone else seeing them and asking too many questions. She finished her ensamble with a pair of short white heels, and some lace knee length socks. She looked almost like a school girl, and knew that Tori would like pretending to have to teach and scold her.

Cat got into the shower, but shyed right back out from forgetting to let the water warm up first. She was shivering, and used the thought of Tori holding her to keep herself warm. After waiting for the steam to begin rising, she got back in. The heat finally settled in, her shivering subsiding. She washed up, quickly, and got out. She combed through her wet hair, and dried off as much as possible.

She finally got back into the guest room, and started getting ready for her evening. She had her skirt and top on in time for Jade to come in again, this time thankful her friend was shielded from unknowing eyes. Jade kissed her cheek, turning her to face her.

"Cat, I can't believe this. You and Tori, and one year later." Jade remembered the work it took to have Tori look at Cat like that, and for Cat to trust Tori. She recalled the countless evenings that she and Beck would rush to her side and stay with her till the sun came up.

"Oh, Jade. I know." Cat had tried talking about it earlier, but Jade's work was to important to listen. Jade finally decided a break was in order, and had walked in on her mostly nude friend in bed. Now that she was more ready, Jade was ready to talk.

"Did you ever think that you would like girls that way?" Jade knew that after her brother, that no guy would ever get close to her. But she wanted to know from before hand.

"No. I grew up thinking I would be a princess, live in a castle. Ya know, typical girly stuff. Well, maybe you don't know." Cat laughed at her friend, knowing that Jade was proud to not be an over dramatic suger queen. Jade laughed also, before starting to cry. Cat, not understanding, looked on with concern. "Jade, what's wrong?"

"Its just, I always thought of you like a sister. And I wanted you to be so happy. And now, you are. I just thought this day might never come." Jade was beaming with pride in her best friend. She had come so far, and struggled through so much. Cat was almost as untouchable as she was, except that Jade's battles weren't public knowledge. So Jade had an aura about her. Cat still needed time to perfect hers. But Tori was teaching her that strength, even if she was fighting just as well.

"I know what you mean. But after meeting Tori, I knew things would be different. God, I love her."

"I'm just glad she never made me make good on my promise."

"What?" Cat didn't know what Jade was talking about, because she still didn't know that Jade had had a hand in putting the girls together. She just thought Tori had thought different of everything, and decided to give her a chance.

"I threatened her. I told her not to hurt you, and that if she did, I would cut her tongue out with scissors and eat it." Jade and Cat shared a laugh, noting that Jade was very capable of keeping her promise

"Thank you, Jadey!" Cat hugged her friend again, who didn't mind the contact as much as she used to. Now that she was out of school, and she didn't have to keep such a strong demeanor, she settled down, if only a small bit. She at least allowed physical contact.

"Welcome. I was worried when you walked out on Tori. I actually thought you had given up."

"I remember thinking to myself, 'You're right, Jade. Tori is a waste of my time. What was I thinking'. I'm just so happy you convinced me to fight on. She fought for me, and I owed it to her to fight for her. And I never will doubt her or stop fighting for her again." Cat and Jade were oblivious to Tori just outside their presence, crying and walking away, ashamed. She didn't hear much, but what she had was enough. Broken and defeated, Tori walked away for good. She only stopped to find a pen and paper, writing a short note. She took off her engagement ring, laying it beside her note.

"I never actually told you Tori was a waste of time. I just thought you were going about it the wrong way." Jade was looking at her friend, who was putting the finishing touches on her makeup. She watched Cat put a nice pink lipstick on, then spritz herself with some of Jade's lavender purfume. Tori would pick up on the scent, but Cat had absentmindedly forgotten to bring her own.

"Anyway, what time is it?" Cat looked to Jade.

"Seven fourty five, why?"

"Phooey. Tori was picking me up at seven. She's probably waiting for me. I gotta go. Thanks again, Jadey. I love you!" Cat placed one light kiss on Jade's cheek, who returned it and smiled at her again.

Cat walked through the house, knowing that Tori would probably be in the living room or kitchen with Beck. After an extensive search, which yielded no result, Cat called Tori. She didn't answer. **"Huh, maybe she's on the way." **Cat took a seat, watching the clock roll a few minutes away.

Jade eventually walked up to Cat, who was looking a bit worried. "Cat, you need to see this." She handed the redhead a note, which Cat instantly recognized as Tori's handwriting. Jade had a worried look on her face, as if she knew what was about to happen.

My dearest Caterina:

I appreciate that you and Jade think I was a waste of time. I thank you for your honesty, and for stringing me along. Though I know that I have nothing to fear from your brother, you still shouldn't have lied and told me that everything was okay. I hope you get what is coming to you, and want nothing more than to forget everything about you. You have to be the biggest mistake of my life, and I can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for it for so long. I wish you well in your future endeavors, and look forward to my life. Be happy, and safe.

Your love for life,

Victoria

Attached to the note was the engagement ring that Tori had received from Cat. The redhead, with tears in her eyes, cried out. Jade instantly knew the problem, and called for Beck. "Cat, stop. Its a mistake. Tori, uh, well-" Jade didn't know what to say. She had never seen anything like this.

Cat, whose heart was broken and her mind not thinking right, jumped Jade. Their lips together instantly, Jade's eyes went wide. It took all her strength to pry the smaller girl off of her, and she looked at her. "Cat, no. Last time, I kinda understood. You and Tori had been apart for too long. But now you're heartbroken, and not thinking straight. Besides, I'm married. You can't do that. I love you, don't get me wrong. But you're like a sister to me." Jade saw the redhead shy away, ashamed of what she did. Beck finally walked in.

"Hey babe- woah. What happened here?" Beck took his time, not wanting to do anything to further upset the small girl. Jade and Cat played it off perfectly, not letting anything on. Jade handed him the note.

"Here." Beck read over the note. Not understanding, he looked to the girls.

"What the fuck happened? I thought you two were happy."

"I thought we were too." Cat cried even harder, and Beck, knowing he was only making things worse, started walking out.

"Wait, Beck. You need to find Tori. You need to bring her here. Something happened, but I have no idea what. But I am not going to let her hurt Cat."

"Well from the look of the note, Cat hurt her first." Cat broke down this time, causing Jade's anger to get the better of her.

"OUT!" Beck complied, walking out. He had no idea where to look for Tori, but would do as asked.

"Cat you didn't do anything wrong. There has to be some sort of misunderstanding. Why else would she leave?" Jade was being as delicate as possible. "She loves you. You'll get her back, I promise." Cat looked up, a slight optimistic smile. But her heart, still broken and hurt, kept her teetering on the edge of breaking down again.

"You do?" Cat wanted to believe her, but with the note fresh in her hands, she couldn't help be disparaged. She felt weak, and wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and never have to come back out.

Something finally hit Jade, letting her know exactly what was wrong. "CAT-" The redhead jumped at the volume of her friend's voice. "- Tori must have overheard us earlier. That's why she said what she did. Her note, she must have heard what we were talking about earlier. BECK!" The boy, who couldn't figure out why his wife couldn't make up her mind, walked back it. "Did Tori come by any earlier?"

"Yeah, about two hours ago, why?"

"FUCK. That's why she's so upset. Cat and I were talking about everything from before they even got together. Cat was talking about me telling her Tori was a waste of time. Which you know didn't happen, but Cat thought it did."

"Right."

"Because I did what I had to even get them together. I wouldn't turn around and do that."

"Right."

"God, Cat, I'm sorry. You'll get her back, promise. Beck, go find Tori. We need to have a talk."

xxxxx

"She really said that? And Jade, too?" Tori was crying her eyes out, André doing his best to console his friend. Jessica, his girlfriend, was giving them privacy to talk. She didn't know Cat the way that everyone else did, so she didn't feel it was right to add her input.

"Yeah-" Tori's voice was nothing more than a shattered whimper. "- Cat said it. It wasn't just Jade saying something and her agreeing. Cat actually voiced the words herself." André was beside himself. He was confused and angry, because he knew just how much the girls really did love each other. The only other people their age he knew that cared about each other as much were Beck and Jade.

"Tori, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?" André wanted to help as much as possible. He needed Tori with the looming record timetable, and their other ventures. A heartbroken Tori wouldn't be much help.

"I'm okay, promise."

_"Told you she doesn't love you."_ Cat's brother decided to make his presence known again. Tori didn't realize quite what it was, since it had been six months since anything too prevailant had happened. _"She never loved you. You never deserved her. You should have let me have her."_

**"Maybe you're right. Stupid little whore."**

_"Exactly. You need to teach her a lesson."_

**"How?"**

_"Hurt yourself. She doesn't love you, so she doesn't deserve to know you. And you need to get rid of the pain of her."_

**"Nice try. No matter what, I will not do that again. Even though I hate her, I still won't hurt myself. There are too many other people who care for me to let myself go like that again."**

_"Suit yourself. You know she'll try to win you back. That won't happen, though, will it?"_

Even though the voices were tormenting her again, she couldn't help seeing the truth behind the words. She knew that Cat would try and find her. And André's would probably be the second or third place, after her home and parent's house. She didn't want to see the redhead, and didn't want anything to do with her. She was glad that André was the only person from school she was working with. She could avoid Beck and Jade like a plauge, which would block Cat out as well.

"Tori?!" André was looking to his friend, who had been silent for too long. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, André, I'm fine. Promise. Is it okay if I stay the night? I can't go home and I don't want to deal with my parents right now."

"Sure, chicá. I hope you don't mind sleeping on a couch."

"ANDRÉ." Jessica stepped in. "I'm not staying the night. You be a gentleman, and give her your bed. You sleep on the couch."

"Yes, dear." André looked to Tori, who was still dressed for her evening. Tori got up, asking if there ws anything she could wear for bed. André gave her a oversized T-shirt, and she said it would suffice. He showed her to his bathroom, and where the extra tooth brushes were, and the soap and shampoo for the shower. Thanking her friend for his hospitality, she turned in early.

André took the opportunity to text Beck.

_**You know your wife is a bitch**_

_**Where the hell did that come from**_

_**She convinced Cat that Tori was no good**_

_**Oh my God, Tori's with you? Let me talk to her**_

_**Not gonna happen. You and that bitch of a wife take Cat, and leave her alone. You never deserved her as a friend, and Cat never deserved her as anything more. Tori did everything for her, and got stabbed in the back**_

_**Its a misunderstanding, André. And if you continue to throw language about my wife around, or even Cat, I am gonna kick you fucking ass, you hear me**_

_**Bring it on, Canada.**_

Beck, knowing that Tori was at least safe, decided against anything else. He knew to let cooler heads prevail. If Tori needed some time, then she would get some. He would try and talk to her soon. But for now, he dropped everything. Nothing good would come from the anger or agression that everyone had.

André turned his phone off, and checked on Tori. Knocking slightly on the door before entering, he walked in.

"André?" Tori's muffled voice made him jump. He answered in a whisper.

"Sorry, I thought you were already asleep. I came to get some pajamas. You need anything else?"

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything?"

"Can you sing me a song, to help me sleep? Please?"

"Sure." Andre walked in a little closer, and started singing á capella. Halfway through his song, he noticed Tori was crying. Her spirit and heart were gone, and she didn't have anything left to give. André, even against his better judgment, and while trying to do the right thing, went and laid beside her to comfort her.

"Tori, sleep. You've had a hard day, and things can't be easy. So go to bed." When Tori turned into him, crying harder and harder, his own mental fortitude left him. He leaned into her, kissing her temple. Tori, who didn't have an ounce of control left, pulled him back down and caught his lips with hers.

"Uhh, Tori. I don't think we-" He didn't finish, and soon she was completely bare on top of him. The rest of the evening, even as André tried to do the right thing, Tori had her way. André had known nothing good ever came from people listening to just their hormones, and not their head. But he let his concern override his brain, and now he was in too deep. She finally fell asleep, his arm draped around her. Her mind echoed her pleasure.

_"Tori, hey!" André was walking with her behind the stage in Madison Square, preparing for their opening act for BTR. Pulling her now boyfriend into a kiss, they laughed silently at Cat for ever letting her go. After a swift slap to the ass, André led Tori onto the stage, into the eyes of their adoring fans. When their set was complete, and James walked up behind them, they took one final bow before joining BTR for a rendition of their first song, Big Time Rush._

**Oh, shit. Yes I did that. Yes I probably pissed people off. No, this isn't a Tandre. This was a mistake by a heartbroken Tori and a not in his right mind André. Will Cat and Tori ever find each other again, or has their time run its course? Please, R/E/R!**


	14. Come Back To Me

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 14 - Come Back To Me**

**A/N: I am in a great mood right now, so I am updating early. Chap 15 is already complete, and will be up Saturday night. Enjoy!**

Tori awoke, André's arm still around her. There was a twinge of guilt, but she was mostly happy. She wasn't guilty about Cat. She knew Cat had sold her out and used her, and after finding out, she followed her raw emotion. Whatever consequences came, she would accept them. Anything would be better than having to deal with Cat and Jade anymore. **"Lying ganks."** Tori was guilty because André's girlfriend had trusted the two of them, and she had betrayed that trust. André rolled a bit, but didn't awake. Tori took the chance, climbing out of bed and making her way to the shower.

Thankfully, André's girlfriend had a few feminine things that had a permanant place, so Tori could use them and repay her later. She had a lot to repay for. She hoped that either André would own up to the mistake with Jessica, or that she would be forgiven if she had to do it herself. But Jessica needed to know. André had tried to do the right thing, but Tori forced herself on him. Eventually, André had stopped resisting.

Relaxing under the heat of the shower, Tori's mind freed itself. The clarity she had gained from everything yesterday had brought, she relished it. She was peaceful finally. Cat's brother had left her alone when she started her agressive actions with her friend. Once she started, her lust overrode everything else. And she was basking in her guilty pleasure. After thirty minutes in the shower, she heard André get up for the day.

She climbed out of the shower, pulling a towel around herself and walking out of the bathroom so André could enter.

"Dang, girl. Someone looks happy."

"I am. I don't need Cat." She watched André's eyes dart away from her, and she noticed his unease. "Something wrong?" André wasn't sure how to proceed. It was a delicate subject, something that needed to be handled with a light touch, kid gloves.

"Beck said it was a misunderstanding." Tori's face contorted, trying to find the truth behind his words. Nothing came.

"What?"

"Everything that happened with Cat."

"When'd he tell you that?"

"I texted him before checking on you last night." André shyed away again, his pleasure from the previous evening getting the better of him. Tori picked up on in, but didn't push it. She just wanted it to go away.

"What'd he say?"

"My phone, look at the texts from last night. And about last night-"

"Yeah?"

"It can't happen again, ever."

"Agreed."

"It was a mistake."

"Agreed."

"Not that I didn't like it, but-"

"André, I'm agreeing with you. Wait, you enjoyed it? But you kept pushing me away."

"Hey now, you're gorgeous. I can see what Cat saw in you- oops, sorry." Tori cringed at the redhead's name. "But seriously, I'd be lying if I said I never thought about it. And last night was fun. But no more, okay?" André didn't want or need things getting out of control, especially when it came to work.

"Okay. Mind if I see your phone?"

"Sure. 4938."

"Huh?"

"4938. That's the passcode."

"Oh, okay."

Tori walked over to André's phone, unlocking it and pulling up the texts.

_**You know your wife is a bitch**_

_**Where the hell did that come from**_

_**She convinced Cat that Tori was no good**_

_**Oh my God, Tori's with you? Let me talk to her**_

_**Not gonna happen. You and that bitch of a wife take Cat, and leave her alone. You never deserved her as a friend, and Cat never deserved her as anything more. Tori did everything for her, and got stabbed in the back**_

_**Its a misunderstanding, André. And if you continue to throw language about my wife around, or even Cat, I am gonna kick you fucking ass, you hear me**_

_**Bring it on, Canada.**_

Stunned that André would say anything like that, especially to his best friend, even more so when his best friend's wife was another of his closest friends, Tori sat in silence. Eventually, she got herself dressed, telling André she was going home to get ready for work. Hopefully, she wouldn't run into Cat. Unfortunately, her luck wasn't in her favor.

xxxxx

Tori walked into her apartment, wary that Cat might be there. She hadn't seen her car out front, but she may have walked from Jade's. It wasn't too far, she remembered from the previous night. She wanted to get in and out as quick as possible, and without making any noise. Silently, with less volume than the stealthiest of ninjas, she grabbed some things for work. A few note pads with some lyrics, a few note sheets that André had given her to practice on a piano, and her clothes.

Almost making it out the door, Cat finally walked in. Both girls froze in place, and with guilty looks on their faces, they looked away from each other. After what seemed like an eternity, Cat finally made a move. She wrapped Tori up, and placed her head on the latina's shoulder. A few tears muffled her words were spoken, but they still came out clear enough.

"Tori, please, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it."

"What?" Tori's anger was seething, and the redhead instantly pulled away. She knew what Cat was talking about, but still wanted her to say it.

"I didn't mean that you are a waste of time. I don't know why or how-"

"I HEARD YOU SAY IT!" Tori's finger was instantly in Cat's face, and she was intimidated into silence. "WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT?" Cat finally got the gumption, and moved back into Tori. Their lips capturing each other, both girls melted for a moment. Tori wanted to believe her, but the words kept ringing in her head. Eventually, the words won, and she pulled away. A swift back hand to Cat's face, drawing blood, Tori continued her angry rant.

"NO. YOU DON'T GET TO TOUCH ME. You don't think about me. You don't call me. You don't anything. WE'RE done. I'm happy that you got over your brother. But I am not a toy for you to play and use to your own fucked up pleasures."

"Tori- I"

"NO, don't speak to me. I'm done here. I'll come get the rest of my shit later. Now move, I have to get to work." Tori walked past the broken redhead, making her way to her car. After hearing the tires squeal as the car left, Cat muttered a few simple words.

"No, Tori. I'm not giving up on you. Not now, not ever. I love you too much, and I promised myself I wouldn't do that again." Cat played with the engagement ring Tori had given her, refusing to take it off, on penalty of death. Cat's resolve had been strengthened and fortified too many times and in too many ways to count. She would fight an army to get Tori back. And from the sound of it, she might just have to.

Cat let a few more tears drop, before texting Jade.

_**I just ran into Tori**_

_**And?**_

_**Well, my face is cut open from her fingernail, and my psyché is broken. But I'm not done fighting for her**_

_**I'll kill her**_

_**NO. I don't want you involved in any way. I need to do this. **_

_**Why**_

_**She needs to see me, just me, doing everything possible to get her back.**_

_**Are you sure that's a good thing? You might want some help**_

_**It's the only way I can convince her**_

_**Okay. If you need anything.**_

_**I'm fine, promise. Just don't do anything to her.**_

_**Uggh, fine**_

Cat walked around the empty apartment, soaking in the fresh scent of Tori. It was different than she remembered, but still her. Cat needed a battle plan, something she could do to get Tori back. She muttered a few more words to herself, the pain lacing every syllable. "Victoria, please, come back to me."

xxxxx

Tori walked into the studio with André, ready for work. She didn't mention Cat, but she had a pleasured look on her face. No one knew her mind was running in a thousand directions. She was caught between her lust for her fiancée, which also brought mistrust and pain, and her feelings for André. She had always liked him, but never acted on it. And then Cat got to her first. Then André found himself a nice girl, and Tori didn't want to break that apart.

"YO, Earth to Tori!?" André was looking at the latina, who was lost in her own thoughts. So much for not letting on, right? The entire board room was watching.

"What, André?"

"We were just discussing what song to sing when we open for BTR. Any suggestions?"

"I don't know. Why are you asking me?" Everyone looked to her skeptically, their eyes darting between the two friends.

"Uhh, because you're kinda part of the tour, and this company. And we're a team here."

"Well, I don't care. Pick something."

"Tori, is everything alright?"

"Peachy, why?"

"Nothing, just forget about it." The latina was left to her own. Everyone saw the tension, and no one knew the exact cause. Tori's mind was battling her heart. She still loved Cat, and in a way still wanted her. But the pain and betrayal were too fresh, and she wouldn't put herself in the line of fire again. Especially for someone's sick and twisted game.

She watched as everyone left her alone. She felt her phone buzz, and picked up the text.

_**André said you spent the night with him. Is everything okay? - Beck**_

_**Fine, you**_

_**Good. I think you need to talk to Cat**_

_**Why. I heard enough**_

_**I don't think you did**_

_**And what makes you an expert?**_

_**Cause I talked to her and Jade, and you got the wrong part of the conversation**_

_**And what is the right part?**_

_**That's for Cat to tell you. Just let her talk, please. As a friend, I'm telling you, you've got it all wrong**_

_**Whatever. I can't let her hurt me anymore. I'm not coming back. Make sure she knows that**_

_**If you say so**_

Tori broke into tears again, the pain numbing her entire body. Bryan walked in, noting his star female voice in a vulnerable place. He brought her a cup of coffee, and sat in the chair across from her.

"Tori, go home."

"What? I'm fine. Really."

"Tori, I'm not asking. As a friend, I'm telling you, go home. You look like shit, no offense, and you're in no condition for work. Take a few days, we'll be okay without you."

"But-"

"No buts, Tori. Home." He pointed out the door, and the latina got up. Walking slowly out the door, she felt another buzz from her phone.

_**Tori, get your ass over here, now - Jade**_

_**Why, haven't hurt me enough**_

_**Oh, I'll hurt you alright. I promised Cat I wouldn't, but I don't care right now. I told you not to hurt her**_

_**Yeah, well, she hurt me first. I heard your conversation. Or at least, enough of it**_

_**God, Tori, you've got it all wrong. She didn't mean what she said.**_

_**Whatever. You and that gank leave me the hell alone**_

Knowing that Jade wouldn't take too kindly to her bestfriend being insulted, especially by someone who was supposed to be so close to her, Tori detoured from her house. She went home, she needed her mother's advice. Holly opened the door, two bloodshot puffy eyes meeting her.

"TORI. Is everything okay?" Instantly wrapping her daughter up, not knowing what the problem was, Holly brought her into the house.

"Mom, it's over. Me and Cat."

"Oh my God, Tori, why?"

"Because, I heard her and Jade talking. She told Jade I was a waste of time. She wondered what she was thinking being with me." Holly soaked in the words, anger seething in her. She didn't like anyone hurting her daughter. She didn't let her anger show.

"You're sure? What if it was a misunderstanding?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Huh?"

"You. André. Beck. Even Jade. You've all said it was a misunderstanding." Knowing that it possibly could be, Holly's anger subsided, if only a little bit. "Even when I saw Cat earlier this morning, she looked guilty and ashamed. But she said it was."

"What happened when you saw Cat this morning."

"Two things. One, I still felt like I loved her. Because I do. And I always will. I gave her my heart. I gave her me. I lost my virginity to the girl."

"WOAH, TMI, Tori." The girls chuckled.

"Sorry. But anyway, two, I felt the betrayal, the pain. I was so angry with her, that I couldn't see anything but that. I didn't want anything to do with her. I screamed at her, slapped her face, and pushed her away. Then, I walked out on her."

"Tori, listen. Love isn't easy. And it never feels right until you have that one special person. You know that, right?"

"Of course. I've had boyfriends before, but never anything like I ever felt for Cat. I even forced myself on André last night." Her mother looked on, obvious disgust. She didn't say anthing though, showing support for her daughter. "It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life."

"So, what does that tell you?"

"I don't know."

"Tori, you need to talk to her. At least let her explain. You can't second guess yourself for your entire life. Can I tell you something? Something I never told Trina or your father?"

"What?"

"I loved your dad, but there was another man that got to me first. Being a stupid teenage girl, who wanted nothing more than to be cared for, I stupidly married that other man. But my heart was conflicted. I loved that other man, but I wasn't in love with him. Do you understand?"

"I think so."

"So I divorced him, and found David again. We've been together for twenty-five years now. And every day and moment have been the happiest of my life." While Tori was lost in her thoughts for a moment, Holly pulled out her phone, sending a text. She laughed at it, so that Tori wouldn't suspect anything. "Victoria, listen to me." Tori peeked up. "Give her a chance. Follow your heart, and the pain will go away. I promise." Holly got up, leaving her daughter on the couch.

Tori grabbed the TV remote, turning on some mind numbing something-or-what-not. She couldn't focus, as her thoughts and heart were continuing their battle. She eventually fell asleep, and the confusion followed.

_Tori was looking at the mirror, but the reflection didn't seem right. She looked away, trying to shake the image from her mind. When she finally looked back, the image was completely different, but still not correct. Now she had red hair, and the distinct smell of cotton candy was prevailant. After washing the image from her mind again, she looked back once more, her brunette hair in its correct place. But now her voice was off. It was too high pitched and happy. Everytime she looked in the mirror, something different showed up, and every time, they reminded her of Cat._

A knock at the door woke Tori from her nap. She hadn't been out long, about twenty mintes. After calling up the stairs to her mother, she walked to the door, opening it. The flash of red standing in front of her brought back the painful memories and the all too familiar heartbreak.

"Cat?"

**I have absolutely no clue where this is going anymore. I am leaning about 60%-40% in favor of Cori not getting back together. Any suggestions? Please, R/E/R! And again, thank you for all the readers and reviews!**


	15. Listen To My Story

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 15 - Listen To My Story**

**For the opening segment of this chapter, I suggest putting the song Zanarkand from Final Fantasy X on. It matches the mood in the air perfect. (Note that I do not own the song Zanarkand, or Final Fantasy X. There are owned by Square Enix, and I have no claim to them.)**

_Listen to my story, this may be our last chance._

Cat was staring straight at Tori, who had a dumbfounded look on her face. Almost to tears, Cat waited for Tori to prompt her next move. When Tori moved aside, ushering her inside, Cat walked slowly to the couch before sitting. She was wary that anything could set her latina off, and that she had to carefully work the situation if she was ever going to get her back.

"Tori, I- I" Unable to find any words, the redhead sat in silence. She didn't know where to begin. If Tori truly had overheard them, then it should be easy to prove her wrong. If she were doubting herself again, then that would be simple to overcome. If she just didn't want Cat anymore, and used her words to sever the bond, then the fight would be brutal to say the least. But Cat had to try, because she had promised herself and Tori that no matter what, she would stay, for both their sakes.

"Cat, don't. I'm not sure I want to listen." Tori, understandably shaken and on edge, wasn't sure what to do. Why was Cat there, how did she know, and what exactly was her motive. The third was simple. She wanted Tori back, and she knew it. The other two, she had an idea. Her mother may have tipped her off.

"Tori, please. You need to hear my side of this."

"I don't have to do anything." Tori's volume started to raise, and the redhead shyed away.

"You're right, you don't." She held her hands up in defeat, noting that Tori was in control of the situation. Whatever she wanted, Cat would give it to her. "But please, hear me out."

"Cat, I heard exactly what you said. Which I think, word for word, was, 'You're right Jade, Tori is a complete waste of my time.' Is that it?" Tori started to walk away, a tear in her eye. She didn't want to relive the experience, the heartache.

"Yes, I said that. But it's not the way I meant it." All Cat needed was a chance to redeem herself, to air her voice. If Tori would only listen, then she knew she would set things right. But even she noted how it sounded, and the unintentional effects that such words could hold. She only wished she had thought before speaking.

"Yeah, sure. Get out, Cat. You and your lies have no place here." Tori's glare could have cut glass, and left Jade and her scissors in their place. There was nothing that could out class her anger and her mood. Cat was directly in the line of fire, but did not falter. The redhead sat still, unmoving.

"NO." The redhead's outburst stunned Tori, and Cat was going to be heard, wether Tori liked it or not. Cat knew the consequences of getting on Tori bad side. Her face still showed the fresh mark from earlier that morning. Remembering it brought back the pain and sting of the blow, Cat let it slide. Cat knew Tori had been confused about the entire situation, and should not be held accountable for her actions. Tori believed she was slighted. But even with that not being the case, Cat didn't want to hold it against her. If she wanted her back, then they needed to start fresh. Holding a grudge or doing something in retaliation would not be the correct course of action. Two wrongs don't make a right.

"EXCUSE ME? This is my house, and you're not welcome here. GET OUT!" Tori proceeded to the door, opening it and pointing. Again, no movement from the redhead. Finally having enough, Tori got up, and dragged Cat off the couch. She was about to be literally thrown out. Right as she got to the door, Jade walked in.

"Sup, Vega." Tori stopped dead. She wasn't afraid of Cat, but the numbers might overwhelm her if Beck showed up also. And especially if Cat decided to fight too.

"Get out of here, Jade. I'm just-"

"JUST WHAT?" Jade was clued in, knowing exactly what Tori was doing. Tori, thinking better of pissing off Jade, let go of Cat, who crumpled to the floor. It was all Jade needed to see, her bestfriend being manhandled. She reached for her scissors, and took a step toward the latina.

"JADE, STOP." Cat's broken voice stopped all three girls dead in their tracks. "I told you not to get involved. You told me one time to at least try, and get my answer. Then I wouldn't be able to second guess myself. At least I tried. If Tori doesn't want to listen, then I won't make her." Right as Cat started walking out the door, Jade stopped her dead.

"No, Cat. Tori overheard the wrong part of the conversation. She took what was said out of context, and it shook her to the core. Right, Tori?" Knowing that Jade only called her by her name in desperate situations, Tori nodded. Jade was the second half of the conversation, another first hand view. Tori "trusted" Jade, knowing that she only wanted what was best for Cat. And she knew that was Tori.

"So, Cat, talk to her. Let her know EXACTLY what happened, and what was said." Jade looked back at Tori, and surprised everyone in the room with her next statement. "Victoria-" Tori gulped. Jade was dead serious now. "-if you don't hear her out, it will be the worst mistake of your life. I have had a hard time trusting you, and being friends with you. But I know we are, and just like Cat, I want to see you happy. Give her a chance."

Unsure of what to do, Tori sighed and nodded. She sat down, and Cat walked back to her. Jade, knowing the girls would need privacy, walked back out. Satisfied that she once again did what was needed to help the girls along, she got in her car to go for coffee. Tori watched as Cat, who was still afraid, cleared her throat.

"I didn't mean it, Tori. I promise you." Cat was slow, annuciating every syllable. She was doing her best to drive the message home. Her voice was so low, that Tori could barely hear. She could tell that Cat was scared of what may or may not happen next. "I was talking to Jade, telling her how I never belived I would ever get you to love me. To look at me that way. By the way, did she threaten to slit your tongue out and eat it?"

Tori chuckled, and smiled. "Yeah. Jade's like an overbearing protective big sister. I should think twice about crossing her." The girls shared another laugh.

"Anyway, I thought once she told me that it was a waste of time. That I should move on, and that I should find someone, anyone else. Like she didn't want me with you, because she hated you. Almost like she knew me loving you would eventually make her be friends with you." Tori nodded. She wasn't sure if she should believe it, but was at least letting her say what needed to be said. "But she never said it. She said the exact opposite, telling me to at least try, and if I got shut down, then I would at least have known. I wouldn't be able to second guess myself. She never once said you were a waste of time, nor did she try and keep us apart. And even if she had, I would have told her, just like I did yesterday, that nothing would or will ever stop me from loving you, and fighting for you."

"You did walk out on me six months ago." Cat sighed. She knew that Tori had her, and that that one action may prove to bite her in the ass. Tori had a reason to be skeptical to the situation, and to be unnerved.

"Only because you didn't believe me when I told you I loved you. Which is why I remembered what I told you. I promised that no matter what, I would never give up on you, never stop fighting. Victoria Vega, you are my life and my love. You have to believe me, that I didn't mean what I said. It was never said. And even if it was, I would have never believed it."

Cat was crying hard. She had spoken her peace, and was leaving it up to Tori to decide. When Tori's arms wrapped her up, Cat melted. Looking up into the cocoa eyes, Cat's tears flowed even faster. She never thought Tori would hold her and look at her that way again. When Tori leaned down to kiss her, Cat's brother decided to butt it.

_It's a trick. Don't fall for it. If you do, don't say I didn't warn you_

The voices setting her mind back at war with her heart, a kiss left ungiven, Tori got up, walking out the door. Cat, left to her lonesome, cried even harder.

xxxxx

Not being able to go back to work, and unable to go anywhere that would remind her of Cat, Tori wandered the streets of L.A. aimlessly. She found a nice place that she had wanted to try for lunch, but had never gotten around to. Sitting and thinking to herself, she enjoyed the momentary reprieve from everyone else around her.

**"What do I do? I love Cat. I know I do. But can I believe her, her story? Is she telling me the truth? Could this be just a simple misunderstanding? She would never do anything to hurt me. So it would make sense that I took it out of context. But that still doesn't excuse the fact that she said it. Of course, she said it to deflect any negativity. Which would mean she loves me. But then of course she said what she said. Uggh, I'm going in circles here. What do I do?"**

"Dear, what would you like to drink?" Tori was so wrapped in her thoughts, she didn't even register the waitress coming up to her.

"Oh, sorry. Can I have a hot tea, please?"

"We don't have hot tea, sorry?"

"Oh. Well, a coke, then." The waitress left her again, and Tori looked to the menu. She didn't want to be unprepared in case she came back. Finally deciding on a simple hamburger and fries, she waited for the waitress to come back. She started coming, a pad and pen in hand.

"Excuse me, are you Victoria Vega? I saw you on the Platinum Music Awards. My daughter is a big fan. Could I trouble you for an autograph?" Tori smiled, but the pain and confusion was still ever present. She handed the pad back to the woman.

"Is there something wrong, dear?"

"Well, I-" Tori wasn't sure what to say. Asking advice form a complete stranger? Who does that?

"Love problems. Celebrities aren't immune." Tori laughed at the lady, but not in a demeaning way. She knew the older woman understood, and sighed. "Oh, sorry. What are we eating, sweetie?" **"My fiancée."** Tori shook her head. Was Cat still her fiancée? Was she ready to forgive her, and believe her?

"Um, can I just have a simple burger and fries?"

"Of course. Lettuce, tomato, onion okay?"

"Yes ma'am, but no pickle, please." After running the order to the kitchen, the older woman came back one last time.

"Do you mind if I give you some advice?"

"Is it that obvious that I need it." Tori looked guilty, and elluded her eye contact.

"Its okay to accept help from people, and you don't need to be ashamed. Now, no matter what happens with the one you love, you can always move past it by simply talking with them. Don't scream or yell, just understand. Give each person the right to speak their peace about the situation, and when all is said and done, don't decide a winner. Accept that you may or may not be wrong, but do not hold it against them. Put it behind you, and keep it there."

Tori thought strongly about that, and instantly wanted to see Cat. Still unsure of the situation, she at least owed Cat the chance to prove herself. Her meal was ready shortly after, and she ate in peace, her mind finally settling down a bit. Asking for some pen and paper, she wrote a simple note to her waitress.

_Thank you for your kind words._

She left, leaving a nice tip for the woman, who smiled at her as she went. Tori's heart compelling her to make things right, she picked up her phone, texting Cat.

_**I'm sorry. I don't know exactly what happened, but I know I love you.**_

_**Victoria, I love you too. Will you please come home?**_

_**Not just yet. I'm still not sure I believe you, but I am willing to at least give you a chance.**_

_**And what might that be?**_

_**Still want dinner and a movie, like we were supposed to last night?**_

_**Like, a date?**_

_**Yes Cat, a date.**_

_**Okay. Take your time, Tori. As much of it as you need. I'm not going anywhere.**_

_**I'll see you at 7**_

Tori looked down to her phone. It was only one, so she had some time to kill before she made it home and got ready. She thought about texting Jade, but instead called her.

"Tori, what's up?" Jade was almost too cheery. Almost like she knew that Tori would come around. But had she come around yet?

"Nothing, I just wanted to thank you. If you hadn't forced me to listen, I wouldn't be going out with Cat tonight."

"Bow chicka wow wow!" Jade laughed, but Tori didn't take the joke too serious.

"Um, no. I haven't forgiven Cat yet. I can't just forget what she said. I need time to sort it out. But I want to at least work through it with her, and see if she really means what she said."

"Suit yourself. Tori, I'm telling you. There was a time I would have loved seeing you hurt. But not anymore. Cat wasn't lying, and she didn't mean what she said."

"Well, we'll see about that."

"I guess you will." The phone went dead, and Tori looked to the sky. She wanted to believe her redheaded beauty. She needed to. But the long standing voice in her head, and the pyschiatrist's words proved a sound bump in the road. She eventually made her way home, after a little window shopping, and started to get ready.

xxxxx

Cat walked back into her apartment, getting ready for her night. She knew that she wanted and needed everything to be perfect. She grabbed her towel, heading toward the shower. Once in, she started to think.

**"Tori will always be worth it. I have to do whatever it takes. I have to show her that I love her, for her, and everything about her. Nothing too fast, nothing too heavy. Just me and her."** A few minutes later, she heard her phone going off.

Wrapping a towel around herself, she picked it up, seeing Robbie's number.

"Hey, Robbie. What's up?"

"I heard about you and Tori. I'm so sorry." **"Typical. Of course he'd try and pounce the moment he thinks I'm free."**

"Robbie, don't. One, I don't like you that way. Remember what I told you about my brother?"

"Yeah, but I'm not like that."

"I know you're not, but still. I could never see myself with any guy. It's not you, it's all guys."

"If you say so."

"Besides, Robbie, Tori and I are going out tonight."

"What?"

"She wants to try. She said she doesn't know if she believes me, but I plan on proving it to her tonight." Cat smiled at the thought, knowing that she and Tori would be fine. There was nothing that either one of them could do that would make her leave. And she hoped that she could prove that to Tori and win her back.

"Oh, well, okay." Cat heard the dejected voice, and knew she didn't have time to hear him cry.

"Robbie, look. I like you, but only as a friend. I'm in love with Tori, and I plan on winning her back and being with her forever. You need to move on from me, I'll never fall for you. I'm sorry." Feeling like a bitch while doing it, she disconnected from Robbie, leaving him no time for a rebuttle.

She continued getting ready, grabbing a pair of skinny jeans and a silk top. Even though she wasn't going too fast, she still wanted to look her best and show Tori everything she had to offer. Of course, Tori knew. They'd dated for a year. She just needed to remind Tori of everything, and get her to trust her again.

Her phone started ringing again, and saw that Tori was on.

"HEY TORI!" The latina had to hold the phone from her ear so it wouldn't shatter, and laughed it off.

"Hey, Cat. You ready? I'll be there in about thirty minutes."

"Just putting the finishing touches on my makeup."

"Okay. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Tori."

Cat's eyes and heart were beaming, and she went about her business. She got ready, just as Tori walked up and knocked on the door.

**Well, at least they talked. Will Tori believe her, and Cat be able to prove herself? Or is Cori gone for good? I'm seriously at a loss, and don't know exactly which direction to take this. I think maybe I should talk with Jade, she seems more sure of the situation and what will happen. Thank you Jade, again, for all your help. Please, R/E/R!**


	16. Forgive and Forget?

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 16 - Forgive and Forget?**

Cat was walking into the living room of her "shared" apartment with Tori when a knock on the door alerted her. Walking up, looking through the peep hole, she saw her "girlfriend/fiancée?" looking back at her. **"Seriously, what are we? Are we even together anymore?"** Cat opened the door, and Tori instantly wrapped her up.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Hey good lookin'!" Cat was a bit nervous. She wasn't sure what to make of the situation, but she would at least live in the moment. If this was the last time she saw Tori, then she would soak in every last embrace, sound, and smell of the evening. Tori sat on the couch, looking to Cat.

"Cat, you ready?" Tori wasn't testing Cat, per sé, but herself. She wanted to see if she could trust herself around someone who had potentially broken her heart and spirit. She loved Cat, and would do anything for her. But if Cat's sentiment wasn't the same, then why was she there.

"Of course, Tori. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Why did you text me. Why are you here?" Not the best way to start, and Tori let it show. Eventually, Tori reached into her purse. She produced a piece of paper, which the redhead instanly recognized as a fortune cookie. The message was simple.

_Listen to your heart, for it never betrays you_

"Because I love you. My heart is telling me that you are worth the chance. I love you more than I ever knew how, and I need to know that you love me and that it really was a misunderstanding. If you didn't mean what you said, I'll have my answer by the end of the night." Tori knew how to judge people, to see their true intentions. That's why when Jade told her to try, she could hear the truth behind her words and feel the peace that they brought. But she still needed a bit more reassurance from Cat.

"Okay, then." Cat wasn't too keen on being put to a test, but knew that Tori's psyche was a bit more than broken, and anything doable to make her comfortable was easy enough for Cat to handle.

"Oh, and Cat?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I have my ring back, please." Tori had only taken the ring off one night ago, but had felt completely nude without it. She wanted it to feel complete. Cat looked to her with a strange look on her face, her own silent question from earlier answered. **"I guess we're still fiancées? That's okay with me. Please, Tori, let this be enough for you." **Watching as Cat walked to her purse, rummaging around and pulling out the ring. "Wait, you kept my ring with you?"

"I wasn't sure how, or when, but I knew I would get you back. And when I did, I wanted to have it with me so that you could have it back whenever you wanted." She smiled, and Tori let a tear run down her cheek. **"She does love me. Why did I ever doubt her. Why can't I get it right. I keep screwing this up. Why? I don't deserve her. She's too good for me."** Cat wiped the tear from Tori's eye, and held her for just a moment.

Tori relished every embrace, melting into her fiancée and letting her mind go free. She finally accepted it, that Cat didn't care about anything other than her. The words that had been spoken weren't meant to hurt. Cat had said it to thank Jade for pressing her and making her go for Tori. And Tori was grateful to her.

"I need to call Jade."

"Why?"

"She made you come after me, didn't she?"

"She was a part of it. She knew how much I wanted you, needed you. She gave me the strength to try. And I'm glad she did!" Cat smiled, causing another tear from the latina. She grabbed Tori's left hand, sliding the ring back into its place. In that moment, something in the latina snapped. Almost like a jolt of energy running through her, Tori jumped Cat. Their lips pressed together instantly, and both girls melted into the contact.

"Cat, I love you. I'm so sorry." Tori instantly forgave the smaller girl. Cat had kept the ring, had made sure to not only keep it safe for Tori's sake, but close to her to preserve every bit of Tori possible. Tori saw it, and knew just what Cat meant. The words that were spoken, which she had accidentally taken out of context, were hollow and empty. They held no truth, and had no reserve on her.

"Tori, please-" Cat was starving, and didn't want anything to heavy right now. Her stomach might not be able to handle it. But while trying to voice it, she got cut off, Tori's lips silencing her's instantly.

"Cat, how can you forgive me? I've put you through hell, so many times." Tori was crying so fierce, she couldn't contain herself. Cat wrapped her up, making sure to keep her from messing up her outfit. It wasn't working too well, as Tori's eye shadow and mascara were soon on her clothes and Cat's.

"Tori, listen to me. Remember when I walked out on you in New York?" Tori nodded, the pain shooting through her. "I promised myself right then, that if you took me back, I would never give up, never stop fighting. I love you too much. And earlier this morning, when you, well, you know." Tori chuckled slightly, but mostly wrapped Cat up, begging for forgiveness. "That hurt me, in so many ways. Physically, emotionally, mentally. But still, I held my ground that I would fight for you. You are too important for me to lose. You mean everything to me."

Listening to every word, Tori sat in silence for a few moments before finally getting on her feet. "I think dinner is ruined. At least, we can't wear what we are. I need to change and get ready, again."

"Me too. Look at me!" Both girls started smiling and laughing.

"What do you say, huh. Dinner, where ever you want. My treat, obviously, for being such a bitch and putting you through all of this."

"Oh, well, we could just, oh I don't know, order in a pizza or some Chinese, and play for a little while. Keep each other company!" Cat moved her shoulder cover off, playing with her bra strap while eyeing Tori.

"Umm, no. I'm hungry, and want something good for dinner. Now, where are we going?" Cat, though pouting because Tori had turned her down, started taking the rest of her clothes off, making a switch for some fresher clothes that weren't make up ridden. Tori watched her in the mirror, licking her lips at every curve and inch of Cat's toned tanned body. Tori repayed the favor by slowly and antagonizingly moving every piece of clothing as slowly as possible, and watched as the redhead used every ounce of self control to keep from jumping her.

"Well, we missed our one year last night. So let's do it tonight. Same restaurant, movie, and some fun afterwards? Sound good?" Tori chuckled.

"You read my mind. That's what I was thinking about last night, it just, well, never mind." After both girls were dressed, wearing almost exact replicas of their first date, they started out the door. Before exiting, Tori stopped Cat, intertwining their fingers and pulling her in for a kiss. "Caterina, I love you. Please, stay with me forever." Cat kissed her one more time, and used her thumb to wipe a tear from her eye.

"I will, Victoria. And if you ever doubt that, just look to your left hand." Tori played with the ring that was back in its familiar place, and finally walked out the door. Tori's mind, which still had its doubts and voices haunting it, was once again relaxing and finding peace.

Tori drove to the restaurant, and Cat handed her a twenty. Tori, with a quizzical look on her face, looked to her fiancée. "What's this for?"

"Gas. You paid gas last time we went. I'm paying this time." Remembering the conversation, Tori laughed while answering.

"Okay, Cat, that's weird." Cat laughed it off, playing Tori's words back at her.

"Oh, great. My first insult from my date. And I thought you wanted to be with me." Both girls chuckled again, and relished their company with each other. Driving to the restaurant, which was a bit off to say the least with the last day still in both their heads, the girls sat in silence. Tori eventually took her hand off the wheel, reaching for Cat's. Unfortunately, Cat's hand was in her lap, so when Tori reached, all she got was a handful of Cat's thigh. Both girls jumped, embarassed. Cat slapped Tori's hand.

"HEY. No. Dinner first, okay?" Tori "pouted", and shook her head. Finally finding her hand, enterlacing their fingers again, Tori brought Cat's hand up to her lips. Trailing a light kiss on the back of her hand, Tori placed her hand to her heart. **"Please, let this work. I love her too much. I can't deal with not having her."** Cat saw another light tear in Tori's eye, and started crying herself.

**"She loves me. She's scared. I hope she knows that I really meant what I said. I'm not going anywhere. I wish there was something I could do or say to prove it, once and for all, that I'm her's forever."** Cat trailed her backhand across Tori's cheek, producing goosebumps and shudders from both girls. Both girls had the same thought, but wouldn't act on it. **"I think we should just go home. I want to hold her and love her."**

After finally arriving at the restaurant, Cat looked again at the ocean that was in front of her. "Tori, can I tell you something. This has to be my favorite place ever. It holds my best, happiest memory." Tori knew why, it was the place of their first date. Thinking about it, Tori decided hat it held a special place for her, too. It wasn't her favorite.

"You wanna know my favorite?"

"Where?"

"Anywhere you are. Cat, I love you." Cat blushed while Tori once again felt the salty wet heat running down her cheek. At her pace, Tori's tear ducts would be dry before dinner was done. "Tell me, you and Jade were talking last night. What did you talk about, other than, well."

"Just how much I love you. You are too important to me, and I will never stop fighting to prove that. I recalled some of our time together, from my brother-" Tori shuddered. "- to our first date. I even told her how you "proposed." She laughed." Embarassed, still knowing that she would never live down proposing to her unconscious fiancée, Tori laughed it off.

"Okay. Now, I'm hungry. You?" Cat nodded, and both girls started walking inside. Aaron met them again, noting that Tori's table was ready. The girls walked to the same table they held that night, and sat down, the deja vu setting in. A different waitress came up, breaking it. She took their drink orders, giving them a moment's peace.

Tori's mind brought one more thing for her to ponder, something that she couldn't fathom, but knew was a possibility. **"Oh, no. What if... Can Cat... Will she..."** Cat picked up on the confused look, squeezing her hand.

"Tori, is everything okay?" Tori let her inner actress out, blocking the thoughts out and focusing on Cat. She nodded, placing a light kiss on her lips. Cat turned away, blushing. The waitress came back, a basket of break sticks in her hand. "Umm, we didn't order those." The waitress nodded.

"I know. Aaron sent them. He said his friend's dinner was on him." The girls looked to him, who didn't know they had been told of his kindness.

"That's generous, but please tell him that it's not necessary." Tori wanted to go to her friend and thank him, but she didn't want to take advantage of him.

"He said he wouldn't take no for an answer. He said it was no big deal, and he was happy to do so for you." Tori got up for a moment, walking to her old friend. Turning the host around, she kept herself as quiet as possible.

"I appreciate it, but I really don't need you to pay for me."

"Tori, don't worry about it. Just consider it my returning a favor." Tori thought about that, finally remembering the time she agreed to go to prom with him, because his date had shafted him. She, even as a freshman, had been asked by the senior quarterback, and when she told him no, she remembered the pain in her own stomach. It was every highschool girl's dream, to be with the captain of the football team during prom night. Tori hugged him, kissing his cheek.

After returning to Cat, and ordering the same shrimp caesar salads, minus the cheese for Cat, the girls sat in silence eating their dinner. Cat finally spoke up.

"So why did he pay for dinner?"

"He kinda owed me."

"Oh really. And what exactly did you do for him?" With her hands on her hips, Cat was feigning her anger, looking to the brunette. Tori laughed, telling Cat of her old school and friend, and the big favor she had given him. Cat pulled her in. "Well, I'm glad you didn't end up with some muscle headed gerk like that." Tori knew exactly what she meant. **"I'm glad you're with me."** Tori kissed her again, and dinner was soon finished.

Walking out the door, back past Aaron, Cat hugged him and thanked him for helping make their night as perfect as possible. The girls decided to walk down the beach for a few moments before leaving for a movie. Tori's mind once again went to the same thing that plauged her during dinner. **"If I am... Will she?... What will I?..."**

Cat again saw the confusion, and needed to know what was wrong. "Tori, whatcha thinkin' about?" Tori decided against it. Hopefully it would just go away. Tori tried to distract Cat by kissing her, and it seemed to work. Once Tori's tongue was in the redhead's mouth, there wasn't another word spoken. The girls walked back to the car, making their way to the movie theatre.

Another fluffy girly something or what not, and the girls again didn't watch. Their lips and hands had too much occupying them. Of course, the theatre was empty, literally, except for them. So they were free to do as they pleased. Well, sorta. Neither shed clothes, but there was more than enough teasing. Everytime Tori's tongue asked for entrance to Cat's, the redhead would reach her hand through the opening in the buttons on Tori's blouse. Tori finally took her bra off, allowing Cat to play while teasing.

After the movie, the girls finally returned home, their hormones too much to contain anymore. Tori sat on the couch, pulling Cat into her lap and kissing her slowly. Cat unbuttoned her pants, and Tori's hand found its way in. Still slowly kissing her redheaded beauty, Tori slowly started massaging Cat's clit, which sent the redhead into convulsions. Both girls were crying fully, their emotions running high. Tori finally stopped long enough to beg forgiveness again.

"Cat, please, please forgive me. I've been such an idiot." Cat looked her in the eyes, drowning in the cocoa ocean.

"Tori, listen. We've both done some stupid shit." Tori nodded. **"You don't know the half of it, baby."** "Let's just put all of it behind us. Today was a new day, and we can clear the slate and start fresh, okay?" Tori again nodded, thankful that Cat would be so forgiving when everything had gone so wrong. "I mean, I shouldn't have said what I did. True or not, wether I believed it or not, I should have never said it. If I were you, I probably would have reacted the same way, if not even more."

"More?"

"Jade. If she were really the cause of this, and I found out she did it, Beck would be a widow."

"Caterina Valentine, you are a bad girl. You know that?"

"Just how bad am I?" Tori winked, and put everything behind her. She had made a mistake, and had forgiven Cat for letting it get out of control, even though she wasn't at fault. And in return, Cat had dropped everything, and let it slide. Both girls gave in, walking to the bedroom for the rest of the evening. They left their phones, on silent, in the other room.

Tori continued to slowly kiss Cat's neck, massaging her clit while listening to the melodious moaning. Slowly and steadily, she built Cat's euphoria up, making sure to let her know just how sorry she was. Her free hand finally reached under Cat's shirt, removing the bra with ease and starting to kneed her hard nipples. Every touch, every embrace, every kiss, the girls lost themselves more.

Cat finally started to play with Tori also, grabbing her ass and squeezing hard. Tori bit at her neck, leaving a small wound, but nothing noticeable with a shirt on. She finally laid Cat on her back, and moved her mouth down, measuring every inch and curve with her tongue. Listening to Cat, she let herself go. She decided to try something different. Sheding her own pants, and removing Cat's as well, she laid their bodies together. Cat finally took off the rest of Tori's clothes, and the bare bodies were pressed together, their nipples grazing each other. Tori pulled Cat in deeper, much to both girls' delight.

Finally, Tori flipped Cat back down, and moved her legs apart. Moving her own leg over one of Cat's, and one of Cat's over hers, their clits came in contact with each other. Both girls knew what the other was thinking, and started moving their hips. The centers grinding together, the pressure and speed too much for either to handle, both girls started crying out louder than ever before. It didn't take long, their emotionally starved bodies giving out too quickly for either girls' pleasure. Both feeling the wet heat from their lover, which only made them move faster and harder, both girls started seeing stars and felt themselves going numb.

Tori eventually pushed Cat back down, placing her tongue where her wet center had been. She planned on showing Cat just how sorry she was. She didn't feel like relenting any time soon, and Cat didn't seem to mind. After tasting her fiancée again, Tori dove head first, and listened to the chorus of Cat's cries as they serenaded her. After a few moments, she placed a finger into the smaller girl, exciting them both and leaving them wanting more.

Tori pushed hard, almost too much. Cat tried to get away, but Tori's free hand was too quick. She held her in place, making sure to allow herself the room to work. After a few more moments, she felt Cat contract around her hand. Tori again traced Cat's body with her tongue, making sure to appease every curve. She watched happily as Cat allowed her to do as she wanted. Of course, the redhead was probably too far on cloud nine to care.

She had Tori back, and Tori had forgiven her. Even if nothing wrong was ever done. And here they were, back in bed together, making love while not caring about the world around them. Cat came for a third time, this time deciding that enough was enough. She finally pulled Tori off of her, and changed their positions.

After making sure that Tori was ready, Cat pulled their special box back out, this time leaving the handcuffs inside. She instead pulled out the strap on, and decided that any lingering doubt in either of their minds could be forced out with the over sized toy. It wouldn't take long, either. Tori practically begged for mercy before it ever even got to her, so Cat knew exactly what the latina would do. This would drive home, in spectacular fashion, everything that was said the entire day. Cat found herself to Tori, and began her work. As expected, Tori cried out hard against it, and looked up to Cat. Her breasts bouncing and breath panting, Cat was doing her absoulte best. After a few minutes, both girls collapsed, and their sighs and erratic breathing said it all.

Finally, Cat broke the contact, and Tori pulled her back down. She kissed her deeply, making sure that Tori felt the love in every possible way. After their bodies finally calmed down, Cat wrapped her up, their eyes falling heavily. Neither had slept well the previous night, and both had work in the morning. Cat was due on set with Jade and Beck at seven, and Tori would be in studio around eight. She had been told to take a few days, but with Cat back, she knew everything was okay. Well, almost. Cat fell asleep quickly, her arm drapped around Tori's waist. Tori's mind, though, played with what she had thought about earlier. **"Can I... Do I... If she..."**

She finally fell asleep, her dream echoing her struggle, fighting her every step of the way.

_"How could you?" Cat was irate. Tori wasn't allowed to do this._

_"CAT, PLEASE." She watched as her redhead walked out again._

_"Tori, no. I- I-" Cat couldn't find the words, she didn't know what to do. Knowing she wasn't coming back again, Tori found the gun the girls had for protection, and aimed it for her head._

**So what has Tori upset? That's all I got. Please, R/E/R!**

**Yes I'm a bit early. The last two chapters will be up Wednesday and Friday. I already have them planned in my head, I just need to put them to paper, or digital file, or whatever I'm writing on is classified as.**

**An explaination on Tori's quick turn around: The fortune Cookie. It made Tori think, and she finally accepted everything. But even with her knowing it, she still wanted Cat to show it. I hope I got it right. Let me know, please.**


	17. Can We Make This Work?

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 17 - Can We Make This Work?**

Tori awoke, Cat's arm still around her. Their nude bodies were pressed together, contentment in Tori's mind. But even with the feeling of Cat beside her, she still felt uneasy. But this time, it wasn't her mind doing the talking. It was her body. There was something not right, but she didn't know anything for certain. She knew the possible cause, but without concrete evidence, there was no reason to alert anyone.

She got up, walking to the shower and turning the water on. Cat needed to be at work in about an hour, but she was catching a ride with Jade. The goth, who still didn't know everything was back to normal, would most definately be surprised when she saw Tori. But hopefully, no questions would be asked.

Tori washed the shampoo out of her hair, just in time for Cat to walk in behind her. Almost jumping into the ceiling at her touch, Tori turned and wrapped her fiancée up. "Hey, baby. Morning!" Cat looked well rested, but didn't care for her alarm waking her. She wasn't in too cherry a mood, which was very different to say the least. She was never a morning person, but always had a happy face around Tori.

"Hey." After a swift kiss, Cat's smile came back, and she took her time taking her shower. She only had about twenty minutes left, but milked the clock as much as possible. Tori was already out, fully dried off and putting her clothes on when a knock at the door alerted them. Walking up, peering through the peephole, she saw her friend staring back at her.

"CAT, OPEN THIS DOOR!" Not wanting the lock broken by Jade's foot, Tori opened it and let her in. "Oh, Tori. What are you doing here?"

"Cat and I made up." Tori beamed, the thought of last night running through her. Seeing the happiness, or well, acceptance?, on Jade's face, Tori decided to move aside and let her do as she pleased. Jade walked straight to the coffee maker, setting a pot on. She turned back to Tori.

"Not that I'm not happy, but I thought it would take longer." Jade was skeptical to say the least. With the unease of the entire situation, and Tori's mindset, everyone thought it would be a long battle. But the sight of her own ring, which never left Cat's possesion, Tori had instantly forgiven and forgetten.

"So did I, honestly. But I found this-" She handed Jade the fortune from her cookie, which she had decided would always stay with her. "- plus when I saw that Cat kept my ring with her, it made perfect sense to believe her and move past it." Jade was looking worriedly at her, and kept her voice low.

"I heard about you and André." Tori gulped. She hoped no one would know, and that it would just go away. Thinking about it, she remembered her uneasiness from earlier. "How could you do that, even if you were upset with Cat? She's done everything for you." The goth was clearly upset, and for good reason. No excuse was a good excuse when it came to cheating. Even if you weren't "together" anymore, they still loved each other and held hope of getting back together.

"I know." Tori started crying. "I'm such an idiot."

"Hey, no argument here." Tori thought about saying something back, but didn't. Her friend smiled, noting the dismay on her friend's face. She knew that Tori regretted it, and that she would do everything possible to make it up to Cat, just like Cat had fought for her.

"I guess I deserve that."

"So, Tori, have you given any thought to- CAT!" Tori jumped at the instantaneous increase in volume, but understood why Jade did it. It wasn't time to discuss what was on their minds. Jade walked up, hugging her friend who was fully clothed and ready to go. She was only ten minutes behind schedule, but Jade didn't seem to mind. Tori's mind finished Jade's question. **"Trust me, I have. And if I am, what's gonna happen?"**

Jade grabbed a cup of coffee, putting her regulatory two sugars in and leading Cat out the door. Her look to Tori conveyed one thing. "This isn't over." Tori could feel the pain and humiliation. She had betrayed Cat, and in a way, Jade. They had done everything for her, and she had in turn hurt both of them. Tori finished getting ready, and walked out the door for work.

xxxxx

_Two weeks later_

Tori walked into her apartment, where Cat was waiting for her. Jade's unfinished conversation was never finished, and Cat knew nothing about it. But Tori knew, with the news she had received earlier, that she couldn't hold it in forever. She needed to do this slowly, give Cat time to digest every piece of info before continuing.

She walked up to her fiancée, kissing her and looking deep into her eyes. Losing all focus for a moment, Tori just held her tight, afraid to let go. She knew the consequences of her mistake were dire, and that everything was about to change. It was up to Cat to determine just how much. Cat looked on, concern in her eyes. Seeing the unease, which was more than Tori ever let on, even though alot recently, Cat pulled her in.

"Tori, is everything okay?" Tori looked to her. She was conflicted. Telling her would have to be done. But couldn't it wait, just a little bit longer? She knew she could get away with it for at least another week, but also that the pain and fear would only grow. Especially since she wasn't taking her medication anymore.

"Cat, we need to talk." Tori's voice was laced with agony and fear. Cat knew that this wasn't easy for the brunette, and took her hand to show her support. "I'm so sorry!" Tori started crying, and the redhead wrapped her up. There hadn't been anything, not even a cross word, since they had gotten back together.

"Why? Is something wrong? Who did it?" Cat was concerned. She knew that Tori's struggle was still ongoing, but she had gotten so much better in the time since they returned to L.A. She was wondering what could have set her back off. "Did I do something? Oh, God, Tori. I'm so sorry." Cat was crying now, not knowing exactly what she was apologizing for, but doing everything possible to convey her repentance.

"No, you didn't do anything. I did." Cat looked at her, unsure of what she was alluding to. Tori tried to gather the strength again, but didn't know how. "I- I- I'm" She couldn't find the words. It wasn't until Cat pressed her lips to her again, that Tori finally found her strength. "Me and André. When we were apart that night, and I was angry with what was said, I spent the night at his place."

"Yeah, I know. Beck and Jade told me. I thanked André for taking such good care of you. I don't know why, but he shied away when I said that." Tori's guilt buried her deeper. Cat actually thought André was a good friend, and that nothing happened. Tori wrapped her tighter, and Cat struggled for breath. She pryed Tori off, which surprised both because she was such a small girl who couldn't hurt a fly.

"Cat, please. I'm so sorry. He didn't take care of me." Cat's eyebrows furrowed, trying to figure out what Tori was saying. "I- I- I forced... ... myself... ... ... on him." Cat finally understood. If she was angry, she didn't let it show. Tori had confessed her deepest regret, and Cat didn't know exactly how to act. "That's not all."

"Huh. What?" Cat didn't read between the lines well enough. Tori took a deep breath and sighed.

"Cat, I'm pregnant."

Cat took a moment, and looked to her fiancée. After finally analyzing everything that was said, Cat got up, walking out the door. Tori watched, and the fear encapsulated her. She broke down, crying. The voice decided to let her hear it.

_"See, told you so. You played with her, and you got burned. The only thing left to do is end it all. You can't handle a baby on your own, and the woman you love just walked out on you, AGAIN! You never deserved her."_

**"Maybe you're right. But I'm still not giving up. Even if I lose her, I'm not doing anything to my child."** Tori sat in silence, before gathering things to go to her parents. She knew that Cat wanted nothing to do with her, and would get out of her way. She would pick up her things in the next few days, and then do her absolute best to forget her gorgeous fiancée.

xxxxx

"So you are, huh?" Tori was talking to her mother, who was disappointed to say the least. She knew what it meant. Tori, at the age of twenty, would have to give up her dreams and become a mother. She would never have the life she wanted, and would never have Cat back again. From the sounds of it, the only person she might have to rely on would either be André, who was the father, or Beck, who was still one of her best friends. But Jade might make sure that Beck stays out of the picture.

"Yes, ma'am." Defeat lacing every word Tori spoke, she walked to her mother, who wrapped her up.

"I know you're against it, but have you considered-"

"NO. This is my mistake. You and dad taught me to take responsibility for my actions. I'm going to do this."

"Tori, sometimes, special circumstances arise where responsibility may not actually be the best course of action. This is one of those times." Tori shook her head, but her mind was already made up. She had screwed up, and was just coming to grips with everything. But she knew that she would never let the baby go, even if André said it was okay.

"Okay, okay." Holly sighed. "So I'm gonna be a grandma, huh?" She laughed, and the women stood in an akward silence. David walked through the door, seeing his daughter looking at him. Holly moved aside, letting Tori talk with her father.

"Dad, we need to talk."

"Sure, kiddo. Everything okay?"

"Not really." David looked to his wife, who was looking away. She had just heard the conversation herself, and wasn't fully sure she had heard right. "Dad, I'm pregnant." David laughed. He never knew that Tori and Cat had split for a night, or that Tori had forced herself on André.

"Real funny, kid. Now, what's up?" Tori didn't like being made fun of, or laughed at. It was one of her few insecurities. She shyed away. She lost all coherency, and couldn't find the words or strength. Broken and defeated for the last time, Tori curled up on the couch, clutching a pillow to her chest.

"David, your daughter is pregnant." After hearing it from his wife, he sat down. Unsure of everything, he prompted Tori to let him know. After a shortened version of the story, David was visibly shaken. If André really was one of her best friends, how could he have let it happen.

"Tori, I'm shocked with you. I never thought-" He saw the look on his daughter's face, and stopped his words. She was obviously in a vunerable spot, still shaken by everything that had happened and the consequences that were facing her.

"Tori, what did Cat say?" Holly looked on, and her daughter was instantly in her arms.

"She walked out. She didn't want-" Tori lost her voice, her pain and anger taking her over. After a few minutes, she finally composed herself enough to go talk with André. He needed to know. She had spent the night with her parents, and André had been left in the dark. She was headed home first, needing to freshen up to tell "daddy" the "good news". After gathering herself, which took a toll on her, she found her way to her car, and drove home. What she didn't expect were moving vans in front of her building. **"Cat works fast. I guess all I can do is face the music."**

Walking up the stairs to the second floor, she walked through her open door. One of the movers tried to stop her, but when Cat told him she lived there, she was let through. What Tori saw was more than she could have ever imagined. There was baby furniture everywhere. A crib, changing table, high chairs, bouncy seats, playpen. As far as she could see, the entire apartment was filled.

"Cat, what is all this?"

"Um, duh, baby furniture. You like it?" Tori didn't even register any of it. Cat was still there. What could it mean?

"Cat, I-"

"Tori, I told you that I am sticking to you, thick and thin."

"But, I-"

"Made a mistake. No one said life or love was perfect. Sometimes, it's the bumps in the road that make it fun."

"FUN?"

"Tori, I've always wanted to be a mommy. Oh, this is going to be great." **"Wait, she's HAPPY? Of course, when is she not? But, me and André, I, she, umm.?!"**

"Cat, you can't be serious."

"Dead. I love you, Victoria. I don't care about what went wrong. Because when I'm with you, everything seems right. One day won't change what happens in the years we'll be together." Tori started to cry. If Cat really could accept this, which was Tori's ultimate moment of weakness, she truly did mean it.** "She isn't going anywhere."**

"So wait, why did you leave yesterday?"

"Well, one, all of this." Cat moved her hand around, which finally prompted Tori to look at the furniture. It was all very nice, and would work so well with everything they already had. Cat did have a great eye for detail, and for matching things like furniture together. Everything around them complimented everything else.

"Okay, this is great. But how did you pay for this?"

"Beck and Jade. They said wanted to help. They were happy to do it."

"Well, we're paying them back."

"I know, but neither of us have had a BIG paycheck yet. Maybe once you go on tour and your album with André is released, or the movie I'm on with Beck. But not just yet. Speaking of André, I think you need to talk to him."

"Why?"

"Well, I don't think he likes me too much right now."

"What? Why?"

"Well, after shopping for all of this, I went to his place. I told Jessica everything, which she left right when I did, and then I slapped him clear across the face." Tori put her hands to her mouth in shock. "Told you I'd fight for you. Then I threatened him with Jade's scissors. I believe he got the message, when I pointed to his pants and motioned a cutting patter across them. I told him that one, he is to never touch you in a romantic way ever again. Except if he ever got on stage again. And two, he is going to sign his rights as a parent over to me when the baby is born. This is our child, Victoria. Hopefully the first of many."

**"She wants to be a parent? With my child? No wait, my children. We'll have many she said. Wait a moment?"** "MANY? HOW MANY?"

"I don't know? Three boys and two girls?"

"WHAT?"

"Tori, calm down. Adoption, baby. I'm not putting that perfect body through any more than it needs to go through. Of course, you'll still be perfect to me, but that's beside the point."

"Okay. So, why exactly should I talk with André?"

"Because he thinks you had something to do with my outburst. He's a little upset with you, and it might make things at work a bit stressful. You need to clear things up."

"Oh, well, okay then. Are you sure you want to adopt his baby?"

"I want whatever will keep you near me forever. If its the baby, then yes."

Tori wrapped Cat back up, once again thanking her luck stars that her fiancée was so understanding and forgiving. She got off the couch, and meandered her way through the ocean of new furniture. She got in her car, and called back to Cat. "Hey, you coming? André needs to talk to us, together." Cat smiled, and tipped the furniture mover for everything. After locking up, they drove to André's.

After making the short drive, where both girls' hands never left each other, Tori got out of the car. Cat followed, sheepishly, knowing that André would probably be quite weirded out by her being there. A short knock on the door, and their friend came into view.

"What's she doing here?"

"Listen here, you talk to and about her like a person, you got me." Tori had a finger in his face, and he didn't take too kindly to it. "Now then, I didn't influence Cat to do anything to you. She only reacted the same way any of us would."

"What do you know."

"Well, think of it this way. What would you have done if one of us slept with Jessica?"

"I- I-" He knew she was right. "Shit. Sorry, Cat. I guess I didn't look at it that way." His apology, even if half-hearted, was accepted none the less.

"It's okay, André. I'm sorry, but it hurt that you would do that."

"I know. But she did kinda force me."

"Yeah, I know. But you should have walked away."

"You don't think I tried to? She clung to me for dear life. There was no way for me to get away. I tell you, she loves you."

"Trust me, I know. That's why I'm not walking away from her, no matter how tough things get. I love her too."

"Okay, guys. Are we okay here?" Tori was looking worriedly between her friends, hoping that everything would settle down.

"Yeah." "Sure." Tori sighed, thankful that there wouldn't be any negative feelings harbored between everyone. She knew it would take a few days before everything was truly back to normal, and that things should just work out naturally.

"Now then, André, I think you know Cat wants to adopt the baby."

"Yeah, she said that." André looked up, confusion written across his face. Both girls picked up on it.

"Well, what do you think?"

"I don't know. I never thought about it, but, I don't know. What do you want?" Tori realized she didn't even consider that. If André wanted the baby, then obviously he had the right. If he allowed Cat to adopt, again, it was fine with her. But when asked about which situation she prefered, it wasn't too hard to figure out.

"I would love for Cat to be there, but the child is yours. Just like the decision is yours."

"If you want Cat there, I kinda understand. I obviously want to be part of the kid's life, but as for everything else, I think I can let go." Both girls were beaming, knowing that André was doing his best to make things as easy as possible. Everyone around them were. They had been through so much, everyone knew the fragility of the situation. Support from every direction was helping them out, and they were happy for everything.

"André, you'll always be the daddy. You can see your child whenever, you know that. But I would like it if Cat and I were the ones taking care of him/her. We'll explain everything when he/she gets old enough, but we want this baby."

"If that's the way you want it, and I still get to be daddy, and see my child whenever I want, then that's great. I guess I could take him/her for a weekend every now and then to give you girls some "alone time"." Looking away, both girls knew he was thinking about them, naked and making love. Tori was the only one knew he had had a crush on not just them, but Jade also, at one point of knowing each of them.

Hugging their friend, they walked out. Getting back in the car, they decided to drive to Beck and Jade's. They would obviously want to know. Knocking on the door, Beck allowed them inside. His over genuine smile was a bit wary, and neither girl knew why.

"Hey, Beck. How goes it?"

"Umm, I think you need to ask Jade." Speaking of, the woman walked through into the kitchen, hugging her two friends.

"Everything okay here?"

"Yeah. How about you?"

"Well, I have some news."

"What!?" Cat was beaming. She loved Jade and Beck like siblings, and news from them was always good.

"I'm pregnant!" Jade was smiling. And not one of her usual evil grins. Genuine smiles all around, both girls hugged her, and kissed Beck's cheek. After exchanging congratulations, Tori spoke up.

"Coincidentally, so am I!" Beck knew that she had had her moment of weakness, and Jade finally got the answer to her forgotten question.

"André knows?"

"Yes. And he said it was fine with him if Cat adopted him/her. We're going to be a family!" Tori wrapped Cat up, kissing her deep. Jade wasn't too keen on the PDA, but Beck was more than entertained.

"HEY, CANADA. Eyes off. You're mine, remember?" He kissed her, and made her some coffee.

"But André's cool with it?" Beck didn't understand how someone with a kid would be okay with someone else raising it.

"He said that as long as we kept him in the child's life, and allowed him his time and the baby knows him as daddy, that he didn't mind Cat adopting it and raising it with me."

"Oh, well that makes sense, I guess."

After a little more mingling, both girls left for the night, heading home. Cat called her mother, giving her the good news. Happy enough and loud enough that Tori could hear her through the phone, Cat laughed. After a few more pleasentries, the girls were finally alone for the rest of the evening. Arriving home, and walking to their apartment, Tori turned to Cat, kissing her and looking into her eyes.

"Cat, there is one more thing."

"What's that, Tori?"

"The doctor told me that with me being pregnant, that I would need to stop my medications. They said it could hurt the baby's development, and they don't want that happen." Cat looked on, agreeing with her. "So I might get a bit, um, hormonal. And that might cause the voices to come back, or the pain or fear. I think I'll need you more now than ever." Cat kissed her deeply, pulling her in and laying down in bed.

"Whatever you want, baby. I'll take good care of you." Both girls knew that meant more than one thing. After getting ready for bed, the girls slipped under the sheets, their hands holding each other and their eyes never looking away. The girls fell asleep, and Tori's dream was more pleasent than it had ever been.

_"Elizabeth, come here." Their daughter, who was six years old now, looked to her mother. Jade and Beck looked on, their own son looking at his crush with awe in his eyes. André and Jessica were late, but had promised to get there before everything died down. Robbie was telling jokes to the kids at the party, entertaining them while his friends focused on the birthday girl._

_"Yes, mommy?" Tori walked over to her daughter, giving her her birthday present. Cat walked up to them, wrapping her wife up and kissing her. Elizabeth looked to her mother, jumping into her arms._

_"Hey, mommy!" The girls wrapped her up, her present in her hand. She opened it up, a ticket to music camp inside. She had decided at age three, after hearing Cat and Tori playing music and singing, that she wanted to follow in her mothers' footsteps. Gleeful, and with a squeal, she kissed their cheeks._

_"THANK YOU." She had wanted to go to the day camp for two years, but they had told her she wasn't old enough. She already knew how to play a piano, but Tori hadn't taught her the finer points of it. She also had a singsong voice, but Cat's was still the best of the family. This would give her an opportunity to hone her skills, and put her on the right track._

_With one last kiss from Cat, Tori looked to the sky. After walking inside, watching Elizabeth run back to her friends, Tori pulled Cat in. The two women sighed, knowing that everything in their lives had come around perfectly._

_"Cat, I think I'm ready."_

_"For?"_

_"Another kid."_

_"You mean that?"_

_"Yes, baby. I know you've wanted one for a few years, and I want to make you happy. Let's do it!" Both women shared one last kiss, letting the day's event unfold._

**I'm glad I got them back together, and to stay this time. With Cat's acceptance of everything, including Tori's biggest moment of weakness, Tori finally overcame every barrier in her path. She's clear and free of all trouble, and there should be smooth sailing from here. The next chapter is the last, and will be their wedding day. I hope you've enjoyed, and thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, followed, favorited, and just out right enjoyed this. I did it for you, and I appreciate all the love and support from you guys.! **

**I am opening a challenge, to anyone who enjoyed my writing enough. If you have an idea for a oneshot, and want me to write it, PM me, and I promise I'll do my best.**


	18. Our Time Is Now

**A Subconscious Fight**

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Victorious, or any of the Characters, Images, or any else that is in any way related to it.

**FYI: Italics is someone's dream, Bold is someone's inner thoughts, and Bold Italics is a Text Message.**

**Chapter 18 - Our Time Is Now**

Tori was looking around, tears in her eyes. Her mother and sister were trying to calm her down, knowing that it was futile. She and Cat had finally made it. After everything with their unique situation, through all the struggle and strife, they had persevered, and had come through better and stronger. Tori's daughter, Elizabeth, came running in, grabbing her mommy and looking up to her.

"Hey baby, you look pretty!" The three year old giggled, knowing that she wasn't supposed to look better than her mommies. It was their special day. They had planned it, fervently, and finally had everything settled. "Now, where's daddy?" Tori knew André had let his daughter see her mother in her dress, because the child had been kept in the dark. She had wanted it a surprise, but also because she didn't want the child to tell Cat what it looked like. She had made it special.

It was a simple design, flowing across her body and accenuating every curve. There was a short train on the ground, and lace stitched into the waist. There were red flowers on her shoulders and her bust, specifically asked for because they would compliment Cat's hair. Her veil covered her face, but wasn't thick enough to hide what would be a rush of tears that would certainly ruin her fresh makeup. Her bouquet was white, red, and pink roses, with a few daisies added, because they were Cat's favorite.

"I don't know, mommy. He and Jessie said I could come see you, and that I should get ready here." Elizabeth was preceding her mothers down the aisle, throwing flowers everywhere while cameras were being flashed in her face. Tori looked to her daughter, smiling the size of Texas. Tori couldn't help but melt to the toddler, knowing that it was a special day for her, too. It was a unique day, and something that the child wouldn't experience again for a long time. So it was like a once in a lifetime chance, or so the child felt. She didn't know how long it would take until her day came. But she knew that if she found someone who loved her like her mommies loved each other, then she would eventually get her chance at a day like this.

Tori smiled, thankful that everything with André had worked itself out. After Cat found Jessica, and relayed the message that he wasn't at fault, she skeptically took him back. But once Tori showed up, apologized, and reitterated the point, she accepted everything and fell back into her comfortable, routine life. It took some time for her to trust Tori again, especially since she worked so close to André. But once the wedding date was set, and André put on ring on her finger, everything was forgotten.

"Okay. Well, the ceremony will be starting in-?" Tori looked to her mother, butterflies in both their stomachs.

"Twenty minutes, baby. Ohh, I'm so happy for you." Holly picked up her grandaughter, kissing her cheek and holding her tight. "Can you let me help mommy finish getting ready? You do want her to look extra pretty for Cat, right?" That was another thing the child knew. If she talked to either mother alone, they were called mommy. But if both women were together, then their first names would suffice.

"YES! Oh, Cat looks so pretty too."

"Ah-ah young lady. Not a word. Its bad luck."

"What's luck?"

"Don't worry about that baby. Just know that luck helped Tori and Cat fall in love with each other, and gave you two mommies and a daddy, okay?" The child didn't fall for the explination. She didn't fully understand what luck was, and knew that there was more to it. But she dropped it and smiled wide. "Now then, go with aunt Trina and let me help mommy, okay?" The child beamed, smiling again. Trina took her niece's hand, and walked her out the door.

Tori and Cat didn't even have to worry about the finances for the wedding. What their parents couldn't come up with, the record company gave. They did so on one condition. Tori would need to give a free concert, and the money she would have earned from the tickets would go to their wedding. She agreed, and came up with an idea. She went and found the waitress who had helped her all that time ago, still serving tables in the same diner. When she told her of her plan, the woman's eyes lit up at the idea, knowing that on a waitress' pay, there was no way she could give her daughter a memorable eighteenth birthday present.

Tori walked into the girl's school, which was having an assembly for reasons that no one, other than the principal, knew. When Tori came forth, and announced her happy birthday wishes to the girl, the crowd of about six hundred erupted. After singing a few songs, including Make It In America, which she had been discovered by singing in the first place, the girls came up to her with tears in her eyes. When Tori told her her mother had paid for it, which was fabricated but the girl didn't seem to care, the girl broke down even more.

Tori offered a birthday present of her own, her chartious side getting the better of her. She invited the girl, along with five of her friends, to a day in the life of Tori Vega. After shopping and recording a fun song in the studio, with the help of André, the girls got to meet Beck, Jade, and Cat. Meeting the hotest guy in Hollywood sent all the girls into a frenzy, and Cat instantly befriended the girls. Even Jade was cordial enough to have a good time. By the time the girls were returned home, their day finished, none of them were able to speak, their voices having left them from screaming at every new nuiance of Tori's life.

After reporting to the record company of her day, and proclaiming that she would like to continue the endeavour on a bi-annual basis, the company happily agreed to keep their end of the deal. They gave her a check for ten grand, which was more than enough to put them over the top. When she told them that, they said to take the rest and use it for their honeymoon. Everything worked out perfectly, and upon remembering it, Tori sighed and shed a single tear.

"Tori, baby, I want you to have this." Holly produced a box for her. Upon opening it, the latina cried out even more. It was a set of blue stones on a silver bracelet that her mother only wore for the most special of occasions. It would help with the "Something borrowed, something blue. Something old, something new." tradition that came with brides at a wedding. Tori had borrowed Jade's diamond earrings, knowing that Cat adored them and would instantly recognize them. Her dress and pearl necklace were new, and her heels were also her mother's from her wedding. Everything was set. Eventually, David came in, and took his daughter's arm. They heard the music, and started their walk.

xxxxx

Cat was with Jade, tears in both their eyes. Cat's were understandable, but she looked to Jade with a confused look. She knew Jade treated her like a sister, and she was happy for everything they had accomplished. But Jade wasn't one for tears, even when saddened in the worst possible of ways. She hadn't even cried at her own wedding.

"Jade, why are you crying?" The redhead was still getting dressed, and Jade was doing her best to help her finish her hair while the dress was going on. It was specially made, just like Tori's had been. It was a bit more revealing, showing her cleaveage. It was strapless, and came down just below her shoulder blades in the back. Still beautiful and elegant, she had it made for Tori. She knew Tori's eyes like to roam, and that they would eventually find their way, even if they weren't supposed to. It had some darker shades of green in them, which next to Tori's red, would make a perfect symmatry. Of course, neither girl knew that, but Jade had "hinted" without revealing any details, knowing that she could coax them both into it.

"Cat, I, you, um-" The goth stood there, knowing what she wanted to say. But the words wouldn't form in her mouth. Cat finally saved her from needed to say anything, hugging her best friend and asking for her help with the final touches to her makeup.

Jade finished with Cat's hair, which was tightly wound in a bun on the back, with a few curly strands coming across her face. Jade's diamond earrings were being worn by the other bride, so she handed Cat her diamond bracelet, which would again, accent the latina perfectly. Cat was wearing a blue set of earrings, and her new pearls around her neck. Finishing her ensemble, her mother came in, wrapping a white lace bow into the bun on her hair, which doubled as a veil for her eyes. She looked to her daughter, then to Jade, pride in her eyes. Cat had come so far, and Jade was a big part of it all. Mrs. Valentine was ever thankful to the goth, and always promised to help is she needed it.

After a few minutes, Elizabeth came in. "Hey mommy. Oh, you look beautiful!" Cat blushed, even getting shaken by the words of her three year old daughter. Cat was so thankful that everything with André was taken care of, and was put behind them. Once she had explained to Jessie that everything was a misunderstanding, and Tori added her own apology, the girls became good friends. Jessie even accepted Elizabeth as part of what would be her own family soon, and though the girl knew she had two mommies and a daddy, having another "parent" excited her. It meant more toys for her birthday, and another person to wrap around her finger and manipulate. The little one had learned the deed from Jade, whose persuasive skills were still as sharp as ever.

"Elizabeth, I need to finish getting ready. Where's daddy?"

"He told me to find you or Tori, and finish getting ready."

"Oh, okay. Mom, can you-?"

The older woman nodded, taking her granddaughter and whisking her away. The girl still needed her dress and her hair put up, and Tori would be indisposed as much as Cat was. Elizabeth broke away from her for a moment, stopping in with Tori and complimenting her on her dress. After a few minutes, where Tori told her to finish getting ready, she finally returned with Trina, and they helped as she got herself ready. Finally, she saw Aiden, Jade and Beck's son, and the two of them took their places.

"Wow, Elizabeth, you look pretty!" The small boy looked away from his first crush, knowing that they would be best friends. But that didn't stop him from liking her as more. They were still way too young to understand it, but it didn't mean it wasn't true.

"Thank you. You're handsome, too." The small boy blushed, and leaned in, kissing the girl's cheek. After a short giggle from both, they stood, hand in hand, waiting for everything to begin. The ring bearer and flower girl looked around non-chalantly, revealing in their first ever kiss that didn't come from family.

Beck walked in to Cat, who had asked him to escort her down the aisle, since he was the only guy in her life she would trust enough to do it.

"Cat, you ready?"

"Yeah, I am!" The redhead was bouncing off the walls, knowing that in a few short hours, she would finally have everything she had ever wanted. Tori was hers, forever, and everything from their combined past had vanished long ago like smoke in the wind. Jade walked out of the room to take her place, behind her son, to walk before the brides. She, along with Trina, were the maids of honor, and Jessica and Holly were the other bridesmaids.

Finally, the music began, and Cat began her walk.

xxxxx

André and Robbie began the music, a rendition of the classic Wedding March on the piano and guitar. After a few moments, the pastor raised his hands, and the guests rose and looked to the back of the church for the women.

Cat and Tori walked, hand in hand, with Beck and David on either side, to the front of the church. Taking their places, and with a kiss from the men, they looked into each other's eyes for the first time today. Cat and Tori removed each other's veils, and the pastor began.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two souls in holy matrimony. If there is anyone who feels these two should not be wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace." After no one responded, he continued. After the invitaional, and the opening prayer, he gave a speach about love and the bond between two kindred spirits. Finally, the vows came.

"Victoria, please repeat after me." She nodded.

"I Victoria - take thee Caterina - to be my lawfully wedded wife. In sickness and in health - for richer or poorer - for better or worse - as long as I live. You are my everything. Without you - my life would be incomplete. You are the missing piece - from the puzzle that is my life." Tori's voice shook with every word, her composure broken. The tears freely flowing, she never left the deadlock of her eyes on Cat's.

"Now, Tori, place this ring on Cat's finger." She took it, and moved it onto Cat's hand, noting how perfect it looked. "Now repeat. With this ring, I thee wed." Again, Tori's voice broke, but she got everything out.

"Caterina, please repeat after me." She stood still, frozen in place. She finally nodded, and the pastor began.

"I Caterina - take thee Victoria - to be my lawfully wedded wife. In sickness and in health - for richer or poorer - for better or worse - as long as I live. You are my everything. Without you - my life would be incomplete. You are the missing piece - from the puzzle that is my life." Cat took her time, annuciating every word, love in every syllable.

"Cat, place this ring on Tori's finger." She did, making sure to kiss the ring before placing it. "Now repeat. With this ring, I thee wed." Cat mouthed the words, but her voice was completely gone, for the first time in her life. It didn't matter, both girls knew it was only a few moments away. The pastor finally said the words their hearts longed to hear.

"I now pronounce you Wife and Wife! You may kiss your bride!" After a short sentual kiss, the audience applauding, the pastor spoke one last time. "It is now my pleasure to present Mrs. and Mrs. Caterina Valentine-Vega!" The girls had decided to hyphenate their last names, and keep them both. After one last roar from the crowd, the girls walked down the aisle, Jade and Trina following behind. Aiden and Elizabeth were following also, escorted by Holly and Jessica, and hugs were shared by everyone when out of view.

"OH, MOMMY! You look so beautiful!" Neither girl knew who Elizabeth was talking to, so they picked her up and both kissed a cheek. After a few minutes, the pastor came and brought them to the reception. After walking in, André, Beck, and Robbie were the first to get their hugs in. David followed, and kissed his wife before wrapping his daughters up.

"Oh, I am so happy for both of you!" A pair of pink lips found his cheeks, and he kissed both of their foreheads.

After a few minutes of mingling and eating, the girls looked to Jade and Trina to start their speeches. Jade's shook Cat to the core, making the smaller girl cry at how Jade perceived her. In Jade's eyes, Cat was one of the most exceptional people she had ever met, and as her best friend, one of her biggest inspirations. After mentioning how Cat's strength through the entire ordeal with her brother, which neither Cat nor Tori even flinched at the mention of the boy, she proclaimed that it was then that she knew Cat was the strongest girl she had ever met. After her speech, she finally sat down, and Trina took her place.

Trina went for the humorous side, noting that Tori wasn't nearly as talented and such. After laughing it off, and finally admitting that she knew Tori was better, which got almost everyone in the room to gag on their food, she finally got serious. She praised her sister for her efforts to make everyone's lives around her better, and knew that Cat was in good hands. She concluded with a few short words of wisdom, and both girls noted the truth in it.

"Girls, lie, cheat, and steal. Lie in the arms of the one you love." Both girls looked to each other, tears in their eyes. "Cheat every adversity." Both girls knew that had a big check mark next to it. "And steal every moment of happiness that life has to offer." Both girls knew that with each other, that would be easy. Trina's little checklist, as easy as it sounded to them, was something they would both remember and live by.

After the speeches, the girls got up for their first dance. André started the song, Jessica singing along with the music. Robbie was filming, and the girls danced in a small circle. They spoke loving words every so often, and stole kisses at every opportunity. Once they had finished, David walked up to Tori for his dance. Beck moved next to Cat, and held out his hand. He knew he wasn't her father, but he wanted her to have a guy to dance with.

After a nice dance, both men shifted to the other woman, and began another dance. Tori leaned into Beck, kissing his cheek. "Thank you, Beck, for everything. Being like a brother to Cat, you're like a brother to me, now, too. I hope you can be okay with that." Beck nodded, and kissed her cheek in return. David pulled Cat into him, whispering into her ear. "Welcome to the family, officially. Love you girl!" Cat placed her head on his shoulder, and their dance continued for a few minutes. Finally, everyone was ready for the open dancing.

Aiden walked up to Elizabeth, putting his hand out like a gentleman. After she placed hers softly on his, the children danced while every adult watched. When she leaned in and kissed his cheek, returning the gesture from earlier, the boy looked away. Five minds of the children thought the same thing. **"They're going to be lifelong friends!"** After the little ones finished, Tori grabbed Elizabeth and brought her to Cat.

"Now, you know Cat and I are going away for a little while, right?"

"Uh-huh. Daddy told me. I'll be extra good for him."

"Good." The girls kissed their daughter's cheeks again, and finally started making their way to the door, where the limo was waiting. After climbing inside, and with one final kiss, they were finally off for their honeymoon. They were headed to Paris for two weeks, letting the City of Love romance them.

xxxxx

"Caterina Vega, I love you." Tori pulled her dress off, her bra and panties barely covering her. Her puzzle piece tattoo on her right hip showed. At the sight of it, Cat smiled and laughed, knowing just how far the two girls had come.

"Victoria Valentine, you are the love of my life!" Cat's tattoo, on her left hip, was the outside border of a puzzle, with a piece resembling Tori's missing. They had gotten the shared tattoos after Cat voiced her opinion that Tori was the missing part of her life she had wanted and needed since she had turned thirteen. They had cried like babies through the entire ordeal, both calling each other wimps while wincing at the pain. The two lovers grabbed each other, pulling themselves onto the bed. Exhausted from their day and plane ride, the girls fell into a deep sleep.

_"CAT! GUESS WHAT!"_

_"Whaty?"_

_"We've been nominated!" Tori and Cat had been working together for five years, and André was still around to help them out. But when they had pitched the idea to be a duo together, André was actually relieved. Jessica had found her own voice, and wanted to be by André's side. It would help both situations._

_"YAY!" Both girls knew what it would mean to win the award. They would instantly skyrocket even further up the popularity charts, and their music would fly off shelves. They had already made their fortunes, with Cat still being in Jade's productions at times, and Tori being the head of her own production company. André was there along side Tori, but as the main music writer and producer. Tori was focused on writing lyrics, and together, they were an unstoppable force. And then after adding Cat's voice, which most people agreed was the best, they were transformed from unstoppable to indestructable._

_The women looked to their eight year old daughter, and their newly adopted two year old son. Elizabeth and Aiden, who had been inseperable since the wedding, sat hand in hand. Johnathan was sitting, watching cartoons on TV. The girls, knowing that their lives were complete, looked into each other's eyes, and shared a kiss. _

Both girls minds were calmer now than they had been in the last five years. After the initial damage to Cat, which required Tori's help, the struggle became a combined venture. Then, once the threat was defeated, their task was still incomplete. But now, on the happiest of days, they knew.

Their Subconscious Fight was over.

**Oh, man. I hate for this to end. I love Cori, and had a great time writing these two stories. I hope you have enjoyed it, and I thank you all for everything you have done. The help, the encouragement, and the kind words went a long way into making this possible. You guys are the best!**

**I got the idea for Tori's charity in the first part of this chapter from two sources of inspiration. One, the TeenNick HALO awards. And two, Victoria Justice's real life charity, Girl Up! I do not own either of these, and all credits go to Nickelodeon, Victoria Justice, and all parties involved that aren't me.**

**Once again, my open challenge still stands, if anyone has an idea for a new story. I am getting help with a new story idea from AaronandSarah, and once I have it in my hands, I will start work on it! Not sure when I will have it, but hopefully, I can get it soon!**

**Also, I do have an idea for a new Catorade. If you wanna see drama and romance, wait a few days and look for the first chapter. It might be up sometime over the weekend, or the beginning of next week. I know my first wasn't too good, but I didn't plan it any before starting it. This time is different. I have the idea, and the basic story outline done. I hope you enjoy it!**


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